Author Topic: important announcement from franksolich (Read 3775 times)

franksolich · « **on:** July 18, 2010, 09:28:17 PM »

As some of you already know, I've agreed to become the writer's agent, the author's representative, for the California piggy primitive, whose poems have the potential to sell like hotcakes.

And if the California piggy primitive signs the contract, I get 15% of her checks for her poetry.

Which isn't going to be small change.

There's probably even a couple of books in her, prose, but the California piggy primitive and franksolich will work on that later; there's plenty of time.

For now, I'm going to concentrate upon placing her poetry in some wide-circulation magazines.

And remember, the bigger their circulation, the bigger the checks they send to writers (and agents).

I was trying to think of magazines that would be interested in the California piggy's poetry, and went into the cellar to look at all the magazines stored there.

I unearthed a cornucopia of potential buyers for the poetry; true, it's a widely-varied list, but I'm sure the California piggy primitive can compose poems for every interest and subject.

The magazines franksolich is going to peddle her wares to:

Collier's Weekly
St. Nicholas Magazine for Children
Look
Confidential
Literary Digest
The Watchtower
Coronet
Frank Leslie's Weekly
Munsey's Magazine
Yank, the Army Weekly
National Lampoon
Youth's Companion
Overland Monthly
Spy
Woman's Home Companion
Ramparts
Saturday Review
Harper's Weekly
Radio Soap Opera Digest

I'm sure there's many more magazines that would jump at the opportunity to buy the California piggy primitive's poetry, but I'll start off by contacting these.

DumbAss Tanker · « **Reply #1 on:** July 18, 2010, 09:57:11 PM »

I would try Farm Show, Countryside, and Backwoods Home; bill them as mammal repellant, and thus of some valuable use in protecting stored grain and feed from the depredations of rodents.

Ballygrl · « **Reply #2 on:** July 18, 2010, 10:12:03 PM »

vesta111 · « **Reply #3 on:** July 18, 2010, 11:27:44 PM »

Quote from: franksolich on July 18, 2010, 09:28:17 PM

As some of you already know, I've agreed to become the writer's agent, the author's representative, for the California piggy primitive, whose poems have the potential to sell like hotcakes.

And if the California piggy primitive signs the contract, I get 15% of her checks for her poetry.

Which isn't going to be small change.

There's probably even a couple of books in her, prose, but the California piggy primitive and franksolich will work on that later; there's plenty of time.

For now, I'm going to concentrate upon placing her poetry in some wide-circulation magazines.

And remember, the bigger their circulation, the bigger the checks they send to writers (and agents).

I was trying to think of magazines that would be interested in the California piggy's poetry, and went into the cellar to look at all the magazines stored there.

I unearthed a cornucopia of potential buyers for the poetry; true, it's a widely-varied list, but I'm sure the California piggy primitive can compose poems for every interest and subject.

The magazines franksolich is going to peddle her wares to:

Collier's Weekly
St. Nicholas Magazine for Children
Look
Confidential
Literary Digest
The Watchtower
Coronet
Frank Leslie's Weekly
Munsey's Magazine
Yank, the Army Weekly
National Lampoon
Youth's Companion
Overland Monthly
Spy
Woman's Home Companion
Ramparts
Saturday Review
Harper's Weekly
Radio Soap Opera Digest

I'm sure there's many more magazines that would jump at the opportunity to buy the California piggy primitive's poetry, but I'll start off by contacting these.

I don't see Science Digest in there, you poet has found feet on Mermaids.!!

Randy · « **Reply #4 on:** July 19, 2010, 02:30:00 AM »

You're forgetting her erotic side too.
You have to add in
Playboy
Penthouse
Hustler
Oui
and all the gay/transgendered/fetish types.

delilahmused · « **Reply #5 on:** July 19, 2010, 03:57:18 AM »

Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on July 18, 2010, 09:57:11 PM

I would try Farm Show, Countryside, and Backwoods Home; bill them as mammal repellant, and thus of some valuable use in protecting stored grain and feed from the depredations of rodents.

Hey, Backwoods Home is a great magazine! The rather conservative alternative to Mother Earth News. I really don't want to open the current issue and find Piggy's insane, boring nonsense.

Cindie

BlueStateSaint · « **Reply #6 on:** July 19, 2010, 04:27:31 AM »

Quote from: Randy on July 19, 2010, 02:30:00 AM

You're forgetting her erotic side too.
You have to add in
Playboy
Penthouse
Hustler
Oui
and all the gay/transgendered/fetish types.

I'm thinking that you'd limit it to the gay mags, as CPig's "poetry" would turn straights gay.

lars1701c · « **Reply #7 on:** July 19, 2010, 07:02:33 AM »

I tried to friend her on Face Book but she didnt take the bait

franksolich · « **Reply #8 on:** July 19, 2010, 07:36:46 AM »

Quote from: Randy on July 19, 2010, 02:30:00 AM

You're forgetting her erotic side too.
You have to add in
Playboy
Penthouse
Hustler
Oui
and all the gay/transgendered/fetish types.

I'm not having much luck finding the current addresses of the publications I mentioned above (not yours, sir, but the ones I listed), other than for the Watchtower; I have a portfolio of the California piggy primitive's love poems--eleven of them--and so I'm sending them to the Watchtower, to see if they bite.

Revolution · « **Reply #9 on:** July 19, 2010, 08:58:31 AM »

Don't forget MAD Magazine, Frank.

miskie · « **Reply #10 on:** July 19, 2010, 09:14:02 AM »

Out Magazine -- definitely find a market there...

DumbAss Tanker · « **Reply #11 on:** July 19, 2010, 09:37:55 AM »

Quote from: delilahmused on July 19, 2010, 03:57:18 AM

Hey, Backwoods Home is a great magazine! The rather conservative alternative to Mother Earth News. I really don't want to open the current issue and find Piggy's insane, boring nonsense.

Cindie

Sure is, I gave my sis and bro-in-law a gift subscription at Christmas to wean them off the hippy-dippy bullshit. You might like 'Countryside and Small Stock Journal,' it's pretty good too, a bit slicker and not quite as conservative compared to BWH, but not a bunch of Leftie feel-good BS with a few crumbs of useful info like 'Mother Earth News.'

PatriotGame · « **Reply #12 on:** July 19, 2010, 09:50:08 AM »

Dog's Life
Horse Manure Monthly
Furry Living
Pron Appetite

AprilRazz · « **Reply #13 on:** July 19, 2010, 02:42:59 PM »

High Times
This way they are so stoned that they don't know the difference.

debk · « **Reply #14 on:** July 19, 2010, 02:49:08 PM »

Quote from: franksolich on July 18, 2010, 09:28:17 PM

The magazines franksolich is going to peddle her wares to:

Collier's Weekly
St. Nicholas Magazine for Children
Look
Confidential
Literary Digest
The Watchtower
Coronet
Frank Leslie's Weekly
Munsey's Magazine
Yank, the Army Weekly
National Lampoon
Youth's Companion
Overland Monthly
Spy
Woman's Home Companion
Ramparts
Saturday Review
Harper's Weekly
Radio Soap Opera Digest

I'm sure there's many more magazines that would jump at the opportunity to buy the California piggy primitive's poetry, but I'll start off by contacting these.

Ummm....aren't all of these very very "select" magazines? Except for The Watchtower?

PatriotGame · « **Reply #15 on:** July 19, 2010, 02:49:25 PM »

After reading Subway Cat's recent musings:

PSTD: Living because someone else was mean to you.

crockspot · « **Reply #16 on:** July 19, 2010, 04:41:14 PM »

Frank, you are one sick sick mother effer.

franksolich · « **Reply #17 on:** July 19, 2010, 05:08:38 PM »

Quote from: crockspot on July 19, 2010, 04:41:14 PM

Frank, you are one sick sick mother effer.

Well now, at a 15% commission, and I figure the Watchtower would be willing to pay $500 for each poem, and there's eleven erotic poems. Fifteen percent of $5500 isn't just beans.

Ree · « **Reply #18 on:** July 19, 2010, 05:12:44 PM »

Quote from: franksolich on July 18, 2010, 09:28:17 PM

As some of you already know, I've agreed to become the writer's agent, the author's representative, for the California piggy primitive, whose poems have the potential to sell like hotcakes.

And if the California piggy primitive signs the contract, I get 15% of her checks for her poetry.

Which isn't going to be small change.

There's probably even a couple of books in her, prose, but the California piggy primitive and franksolich will work on that later; there's plenty of time.

For now, I'm going to concentrate upon placing her poetry in some wide-circulation magazines.

And remember, the bigger their circulation, the bigger the checks they send to writers (and agents).

I was trying to think of magazines that would be interested in the California piggy's poetry, and went into the cellar to look at all the magazines stored there.

I unearthed a cornucopia of potential buyers for the poetry; true, it's a widely-varied list, but I'm sure the California piggy primitive can compose poems for every interest and subject.

The magazines franksolich is going to peddle her wares to:

Collier's Weekly
St. Nicholas Magazine for Children
Look
Confidential
Literary Digest
The Watchtower
Coronet
Frank Leslie's Weekly
Munsey's Magazine
Yank, the Army Weekly
National Lampoon
Youth's Companion
Overland Monthly
Spy
Woman's Home Companion
Ramparts
Saturday Review
Harper's Weekly
Radio Soap Opera Digest

I'm sure there's many more magazines that would jump at the opportunity to buy the California piggy primitive's poetry, but I'll start off by contacting these.

Frank...most of thoses mags are out of business now...

franksolich · « **Reply #19 on:** July 19, 2010, 05:16:02 PM »

Quote from: Ree on July 19, 2010, 05:12:44 PM

Frank...most of thoses mags are out of business now...

Oh.

Well, at least the Watchtower's still in business.

Ree · « **Reply #20 on:** July 19, 2010, 05:22:12 PM »

Quote from: franksolich on July 19, 2010, 05:16:02 PM

Oh.

Well, at least the Watchtower's still in business.

Well ya know how hard it is to get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses......

franksolich · « **Reply #21 on:** July 19, 2010, 06:44:05 PM »

Quote from: Ree on July 19, 2010, 05:22:12 PM

Well ya know how hard it is to get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses......

Well, with a circulation of 40,000,000 per month, and printed in 183 languages, the Watch Tower could make the poetess California piggy primitive famous.

Internationally famous.

The poetess California piggy primitive would have a larger notoriety than just among half a dozen denizens of a darkened coffee-house in an isolated valley in California.

In fact, since the poetess California piggy primitive's work is so.....ground-breaking, so.....nouveau, so.....avant-garde, so.....revolutionary, so.....innovative, so.....ahead of its time, when dealing with the Watch Tower magazine, I'm going to not only insist upon $500 per poem, but also that the poetess California piggy primitive be featured on the front cover, shown in her diaphanous gown.

debk · « **Reply #22 on:** July 19, 2010, 07:44:57 PM »

Quote from: franksolich on July 19, 2010, 06:44:05 PM

Well, with a circulation of 40,000,000 per month, and printed in 183 languages, the Watch Tower could make the poetess California piggy primitive famous.

Internationally famous.

The poetess California piggy primitive would have a larger notoriety than just among half a dozen denizens of a darkened coffee-house in an isolated valley in California.

In fact, since the poetess California piggy primitive's work is so.....ground-breaking, so.....nouveau, so.....avant-garde, so.....revolutionary, so.....innovative, so.....ahead of its time, when dealing with the Watch Tower magazine, I'm going to not only insist upon $500 per poem, but also that the poetess California piggy primitive be featured on the front cover, shown in her diaphanous gown.

Going to really have to shrink that picture in order to fit it on the cover....

DefiantSix · « **Reply #23 on:** July 19, 2010, 08:07:42 PM »

Quote from: Ree on July 19, 2010, 05:22:12 PM

Well ya know how hard it is to get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses......

Not for me it isn't.

Answer the door in a white shirt and tie, saying, "Hi;

I'm Elder [DefiantSix] with the Church of Jesus Christ of"....

Funny, that's usually as far as I get before they light their hair on fire and run from my doorstep as if the devil himself was after them.

debk · « **Reply #24 on:** July 19, 2010, 09:26:39 PM »

Quote from: DefiantSix on July 19, 2010, 08:07:42 PM

Not for me it isn't.

Answer the door in a white shirt and tie, saying, "Hi; I'm Elder [DefiantSix] with the Church of Jesus Christ of"....

Funny, that's usually as far as I get before they light their hair on fire and run from my doorstep as if the devil himself was after them.

All I do is tell them I am Catholic.

It works quite well....

News:

Author Topic: important announcement from franksolich (Read 3775 times)