Seriously, these guys don't like nutraloaf? How about they join the military and have some of their haute cuisine items such as:
Slumgolium
Baboon's Ass
Elephant Scabs
Shit on a Shingle
MRE's (Meals Rejected by Ethiopians)
Freeze-dried EVERYTHING
You're going to have to explain to me what those first three are. 
Actually, slumgolium is the most difficult. Basically it's a breakfast scramble when you've been at sea for 60+ days (remember kids, no underway replenishment on a submarine!) and what little breakfast stuff you've got is freeze dried potatoes, meat, and eggs. Oh, yummy.
Baboon's ass is simply corned beef. Sort of. Maybe. We think.
Elephant scabs (aka DBVC, or "Dreaded Breaded Vent Covers") can be either breaded veal or chicken patties, covered in tomato sauce (if you're lucky, ketchup if you're not) and a piece of whatever leftover government cheese can be found.
There are a few others of course:
Horsecock (salami, bologna, etc)
Sliders and rollers (hamburgers and hot dogs)
Fat sticks (ribs)
Fat bastard (ANY dessert topped with soft serve, which of course the ice cream machine NEVER ****ING WORKS!)