Oscar Wilde the life of the party

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8706082

Oh my.

Cyrano  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Wed Jul-07-10 03:48 PM
HE LARGE-PROBOSCISED PRIMITIVE, OSCAR WILDE
Original message
The Dittohead at the party
   
To me, parties are a plague. But once in a while I’m obliged to go to a birthday party, an anniversary party, a wedding, etc. And the worst are those where you don’t get to choose where you sit.

So there I was, trapped sitting next to a Dittohead. I didn’t know it when I sat down, or I would have faked some kind of physical ailment and screamed for an ambulance.

It took about two minutes of “conversation” for me to realize my situation and at that point, I was seriously considering the ambulance option.

Without going into detail about the nature of this party, or when it took place, (because there were people there who read DU), I was stuck, screwed and miserable. I couldn’t get up and walk away. I couldn’t change seats. And although death seemed rather attractive at the moment, I didn’t have the guts to stab myself with a fork.

In effect, I was a captive audience. Perhaps I was a bit too polite. My brain instructed me to tell this guy that he was a screaming asshole, but my mouth refused to cooperate. I made a few half-hearted attempts to inform him of the error of his ways, all the while knowing that it’s impossible to reason with a zombie. (There were people there I knew and being rude was not an option.)

Anyhow, the few hours I spent at that party were the longest year of my life.

So here’s my question. What would you have done?

Bigmack  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Wed Jul-07-10 04:05 PM
Response to Original message

7. I'm not lecturing you... I'm lecturing me.
   
We must be prepared with one-line Crushers for use in situations. Other situations, too.

And then we gotta practice them.... a lot... so that it only takes a second or two to whip it out.

"I won't talk politics with people with your views... it's pointless." is a good one.

Another, that I've used, is (Laughing ruefully... "Jesus.. You don't really believe that shit, do you? Just keep it to yourself and we'll be fine."

"You get your political advice from that Junkie Gasbag... you are hopeless."

And I'm practicing....

Cyrano  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Wed Jul-07-10 04:16 PM
THE LARGE-PROBOSCISED PRIMITIVE, OSCAR WILDE
Response to Reply #7

12. Unfortunately, it was a rather small group and whatever I said might have been overheard. Further, I didn't want to make a scene, or insult the hostess. (I did, however, want to kill the hostess for inviting me.)

MrScorpio  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Wed Jul-07-10 04:43 PM
Response to Original message

17. By the time I was done with him, he'd be screaming for mercy
   
The one thing that I can not suffer is some fool.

Yeah, right, Lamond.

tularetom  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Wed Jul-07-10 05:07 PM
THE LAKE-FRONT REAL-ESTATE MAGNATE PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message

18. Turned down the invitation to the party
   
The only parties I would attend are the ones we have here at the house where we can control who is there.

Unfortunately the family holidays like thanksgiving are the ones we have no control because we have to invite our asshat relatives.

One year I had to ask my nephew to leave because he kept bitching about the "N-words" that got jobs that he had applied for.

Even the other family wing nuts were glad to see him go. Even his wife.

Yeah, right, Tom.

And.....oh my.....here's a primitive no one's seen for a while:

Kelvin Mace  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Wed Jul-07-10 05:17 PM
THE MALICIOUS CARTOON CHARACTER PRIMITIVE; A PROMINENT ANDYITE
Response to Original message

20. You don't have to call them an asshole or behave impolitely. I have found that mildly amused incredulity works very well. You treat them like you would a five year old who is explaining their views on brain surgery.

I routinely deal with truck drivers, very, very reactionary pro-Limbaugh types. I had one ranting about how unions were "destroying America and jobs". I smiled and responded:

"I might agree with you except for this curious article I read in the Financial Times during the Detroit bailout talks that while the U.S. divisions were broke, the European divisions were making money. This was strange since European countries have unions, plus severe (by American standards) laws about minimum vacation time, maternity/paternity leave, short work weeks, plus socialist programs like universal health care. It would seem to me that if unions, stringent government safety/work rules, and massive socialism are bad, then all of these companies should be broke, yet they made money while their American counterparts, lacking all of these disadvantages, bled money."

Always smile, always be polite, but make your point. If they get upset, let them shout. I have driven many a loon to apoplexy with this approach.

Yeah, right, Dave.

[Carl]

In other words...

Cyrano heard logic and reason and is now desperate for someone to tell him that the sky is still green and the grass blue.

[PatriotGame]

Cyrano  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Wed Jul-07-10 03:48 PM
HE LARGE-PROBOSCISED PRIMITIVE, OSCAR WILDE
Original message
The Dittohead at the party
   
So here’s my question. What would you have done?

I would have grabbed YOUR fork and stabbed you square in the middle of your forehead, splitting your uni-brow.

BUTT, that's just me...

[Karin]

I was stuck, screwed and miserable. I couldn’t get up and walk away. I couldn’t change seats. And although death seemed rather attractive at the moment,

What a flaming drama queen.  How about just changing the subject to something non-political?  Recently seen movies?  The weather?  Hobbies?  Occupations?  Hows Business?  Family?  A good joke?  American Idol?  Travels you've made? 

Sometimes it may seem like it, but not EVERYTHING is about politics.  And, those asshats up there crowing about how they'd wipe the floor with the person, would find themselves losing friends right and left after ruining their parties. 

[blitzkrieg_17]

Bouncy bouncy. The anti-social primitive was just looking for a way out.

[DumbAss Tanker]

I suppose it would have been beyond his level of mental and emotional development, and capability for extemporaneous thinking, to have just said:  "Well, it sounds like we are poles apart politically, so since you won't change my mind and I won't change yours, and one or both of us will just end up unhappy if we talk politics, let's just stay off that subject for today so we don't ruin the party for anyone else."

[Wineslob]

Bigmack  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Wed Jul-07-10 04:05 PM
Response to Original message

7. I'm not lecturing you... I'm lecturing me.
   
We must be prepared with one-line Crushers for use in situations. Other situations, too.

And then we gotta practice them.... a lot... so that it only takes a second or two to whip it out.

"I won't talk politics with people with your views... it's pointless." is a good one.

Another, that I've used, is (Laughing ruefully... "Jesus.. You don't really believe that shit, do you? Just keep it to yourself and we'll be fine."

"You get your political advice from that Junkie Gasbag... you are hopeless."

And I'm practicing....

Let me see, these are the people that believe themselves to be so very much smarter than anyone else that the best they can come up with are inane responses that a 5 YO would use, and they have to practice them?

[Celtic Rose]

Let me see, these are the people that believe themselves to be so very much smarter than anyone else that the best they can come up with are inane responses that a 5 YO would use, and they have to practice them?

Basically all they show in these threads are how socially stunted they are. Smile and nod, then redirect the conversation, that is all they really have to do.

[USA4ME]

Kelvin Mace

I had one ranting about how unions were "destroying America and jobs". I smiled and responded:

"I might agree with you except for this curious article I read in the Financial Times during the Detroit bailout talks that while the U.S. divisions were broke, the European divisions were making money. This was strange since European countries have unions, plus severe (by American standards) laws about minimum vacation time, maternity/paternity leave, short work weeks, plus socialist programs like universal health care. It would seem to me that if unions, stringent government safety/work rules, and massive socialism are bad, then all of these companies should be broke, yet they made money while their American counterparts, lacking all of these disadvantages, bled money."

IOW, your argument is to uphold a bunch of European countries who, if they don't change their ways soon, will eventually turn into ............. Greece.

Kelvin, you're almost as sharp as a spoon.

.

[soleil]

What a flaming drama queen.  How about just changing the subject to something non-political?  Recently seen movies?  The weather?  Hobbies?  Occupations?  Hows Business?  Family?  A good joke?  American Idol?  Travels you've made? 

Sometimes it may seem like it, but not EVERYTHING is about politics.  And, those asshats up there crowing about how they'd wipe the floor with the person, would find themselves losing friends right and left after ruining their parties. 

Exactly. If you can't go somewhere and just be friendly to people regardless of their political leanings, then you need to get out more. You can find common ground with just about anyone. Leave the politics at home, change the subject, be cordial AND you just might have fun.

[AllosaursRus]

What a flaming drama queen.  How about just changing the subject to something non-political?  Recently seen movies?  The weather?  Hobbies?  Occupations?  Hows Business?  Family?  A good joke?  American Idol?  Travels you've made? 

Sometimes it may seem like it, but not EVERYTHING is about politics.  And, those asshats up there crowing about how they'd wipe the floor with the person, would find themselves losing friends right and left after ruining their parties. 

Would still be trying to remember what the hell happened and why they're waking up in the ditch along I-90!

[blitzkrieg_17]

Would still be trying to remember what the hell happened and why they're waking up in the ditch along I-90!

I didn't know I-90 went all the way to Idaho lol.

[Karin]

then all of these companies should be broke, yet they made money blah blah blah

  What I would say to Kelvin is that European countries subsidize favored businesses, making it appear as if they were making money.  We ran into this in the paper industry all the time.  In that business, you don't compete with companies.  You compete with countries.  Finland, Sweden, all those northern timber countries spoonfeed their paper companies so as to undercut us in price. 

[delilahmused]

These people have more political encounters than a DC hooker. Rarely will I talk politics with someone I've just met and if I do it's just one of those universal kinds of jokes of the "death & taxes" or the slowness of the DMV. My best friend gets his news from The Advocate and Seattle Weekly and my very dear friend, Mary thinks MoveOn Oregon is an unbiased news source. My life would be so much less without them and we rarely talk politics because the things we have in common and our history is the glue that holds our friendship together. No wonder they're miserable, they don't know how to talk to people without an agenda.

Cindie

[soleil]

These people have more political encounters than a DC hooker. Rarely will I talk politics with someone I've just met and if I do it's just one of those universal kinds of jokes of the "death & taxes" or the slowness of the DMV. My best friend gets his news from The Advocate and Seattle Weekly and my very dear friend, Mary thinks MoveOn Oregon is an unbiased news source. My life would be so much less without them and we rarely talk politics because the things we have in common and our history is the glue that holds our friendship together. No wonder they're miserable, they don't know how to talk to people without an agenda.

Cindie

Like I've told y'all before, all of my friends are republicans. Bigtime. We rarely talk politics, and I certainly don't find them to be disgusting people because we have different views. And vice versa.  And I don't make a habit of going places and delving into politics. Who does that?

[AllosaursRus]

I didn't know I-90 went all the way to Idaho lol.

Thru the Panhandle all the way to the socialist enclave over on the coast in WA state. I think they call it Seattle.

[franksolich]

And I don't make a habit of going places and delving into politics. Who does that?

The primitives do.

In their fantasies.

[BlueStateSaint]

Thru the Panhandle all the way to the socialist enclave over on the coast in WA state. I think they call it Seattle.

All the way to Boston on the East Coast.  Spent some time on I-90 today.

[Hawkgirl]

I'm glad I don't have people like him as my dinner guests...

[formerlurker]

H5 to the party guest who had this misfit so rattled he had to create a bouncy about it.

[AllosaursRus]

H5 to the party guest who had this misfit so rattled he had to create a bouncy about it.

Now, now, now, he was the only sane one there! I am curious as to why you would attend a party where they would invite them to it!

[PatriotGame]

I didn't know I-90 went all the way to Idaho lol.

I can see I-90 from my house!

never mind...

[PatriotGame]

Like I've told y'all before, all of my friends are republicans. Bigtime. We rarely talk politics, and I certainly don't find them to be disgusting people because we have different views. And vice versa.  And I don't make a habit of going places and delving into politics. Who does that?

Soleil, you're doing good here - hang with it.

Be advised though that if I disagree with you, I may still tear your ass up. As you should do with me.
That is how we Conservatives are...