Author Topic: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves  (Read 5182 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
one for his target

and one for the guy who thinks he can go around telling Chuck Norris how many graves to dig.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2010, 11:29:20 AM »
So Chuck Norris jokes are out of vogue, huh?
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +770/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2010, 12:03:28 PM »
Not with me.  Wanna know why Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms?  Because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. 


Incidentally, a brazillion years ago I ran into Chuck Norris.  Literally.  At the movie theater.  I was leaving the theater, and he was walking in.  We bumped shoulders.  (He is short)  He said excuse me, I said no problem, and didn't even know it was him until 3 steps later. 

R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline thundley4

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 40571
  • Reputation: +2224/-127
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2010, 12:28:17 PM »
Not with me.  Wanna know why Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms?  Because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. 


Incidentally, a brazillion years ago I ran into Chuck Norris.  Literally.  At the movie theater.  I was leaving the theater, and he was walking in.  We bumped shoulders.  (He is short)  He said excuse me, I said no problem, and didn't even know it was him until 3 steps later. 



It took him 3 steps to roundhouse kick you for bumping into him?  He was having an off day, I guess.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2010, 12:47:55 PM »
Chuck Norris strangled his last enemy with a cordless telephone.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline Eupher

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24894
  • Reputation: +2835/-1828
  • U.S. Army, Retired
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2010, 02:26:03 PM »
Chuck Norris strangled his last enemy with a cordless telephone.

that sounds like he's running out of creative weaponry....
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline Wineslob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14480
  • Reputation: +816/-193
  • Sucking the life out of Liberty
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2010, 02:39:51 PM »
Not with me.  Wanna know why Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms?  Because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. 


Incidentally, a brazillion years ago I ran into Chuck Norris.  Literally.  At the movie theater.  I was leaving the theater, and he was walking in.  We bumped shoulders.  (He is short)  He said excuse me, I said no problem, and didn't even know it was him until 3 steps later. 
However, what actually happened is Chuck Norris roundhoused kicked me 3 steps into the future.






Fixed    :-)
“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

The unobtainable is unknown at Zombo.com



"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.

Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +770/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2010, 04:52:47 PM »



Fixed    :-)

Probably Happened just that way.  I now have bursitis/arthritis in that shoulder.  Dang that Chuck Norris.
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2010, 07:11:37 PM »
Probably Happened just that way.  I now have bursitis/arthritis in that shoulder.  Dang that Chuck Norris.
Or maybe you're just old.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +770/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2010, 08:12:37 AM »
Or maybe you're just old.

I thought you were my friend.   :bawl:

 :-)
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2010, 10:08:29 AM »
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands...
Now they're just called the Islands.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +770/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2010, 10:23:41 AM »
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2010, 12:50:10 PM »
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +770/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #13 on: July 01, 2010, 02:10:58 PM »
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline soleil

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2151
  • Reputation: +57/-31
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #14 on: July 01, 2010, 02:17:01 PM »
Why does all of this remind me of SNL's Bill Brasky?   :-)

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #15 on: July 02, 2010, 01:14:43 PM »
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline Madam Firecracker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5138
  • Reputation: +0/-0
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #16 on: July 02, 2010, 01:29:49 PM »
Windows Vista runs just fine on Chuck Norris's PC.

They are making a sequel to 300 with Chuck Norris called 1.


Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +770/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #17 on: July 02, 2010, 02:10:05 PM »
Chuck Norris counted to infinity ~ twice.
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #18 on: July 02, 2010, 08:12:33 PM »
Chuck Norris sleeps with the lights on.

Because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2010, 08:16:57 PM »
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.

Too bad Chuck never cries.
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #20 on: July 02, 2010, 08:47:32 PM »
"Brokeback Mountain" was originally a documentary about the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck Norris' front yard.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline cavegal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3015
  • Reputation: +105/-42
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #21 on: July 02, 2010, 09:14:45 PM »
Chuck Norris  shot down an enemy plane once by pointing his finger and yelling "bang"! :popcorn:


“Look, we’re led by a man that either is not tough, not smart, or he’s got something else in mind,”  Donald J.Trump. 6/13/16

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #22 on: July 03, 2010, 09:29:22 AM »
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #23 on: July 03, 2010, 10:12:38 AM »
There is no theory of evolution.  Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23550
  • Reputation: +2475/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
« Reply #24 on: July 03, 2010, 11:48:22 AM »
There is no theory of evolution.  Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.

It's descendants are called giraffes.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."