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Author Topic: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American  (Read 1677 times)

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Offline sofa king

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Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« on: June 11, 2010, 10:47:34 PM »
this might be one of my favorite dummy posts ever.

i know it's the onion.  but it rings so true.  like when our muslim, kenyan-born president states (in the monotone voice:)

[no actual inflection in his voice]

"i"

"am outraged"

"i truly am."

[/no actual inflection in his voice]


Quote
Hissyspit  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)       Fri Jun-11-10 10:47 PM
Original message

Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American   Updated at 10:47 PM
   
http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-to-make-reassuri...

NEWS
Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American

JUNE 9, 2010 | ISSUE 46•23



Obama's calm, piercing gaze helps a jogger come to terms with the timetable for withdrawal of troops in Iraq.

ROCKLAND, ME—In an attempt to convince an anxious populace that his legislative agenda is working and that everything is going to be all right, President Barack Obama embarked on a 50-state, 30,000-town tour Monday during which he plans to gaze assuredly into the eyes of each American citizen, one at a time.

"I know a lot of people out there are nervous. They're worried about unemployment, the oil spill in the Gulf, and whether or not I am making the right choices in Washington," Obama said during a rally at Rockland District High School. "To those Americans, I offer you this inspiring, confident gaze."

Obama then stepped down from his podium, walked into the 2,000-person audience, and peered comfortingly into each person's eyes. After taking 45 minutes to methodically work his way from the front row all the way to the balcony, and punctuating each look with a gentle pat on the shoulder, Obama returned to the stage, collected himself, and addressed the silent group before him.

"There," he said. "All better."

In their announcement of the "2010 Eye-to-Eye Tour," White House officials said that Obama will first spend two weeks making eye contact with the 55 million residents of the densely populated Northeastern states, looking into their eyes and, if necessary, offering them an encouraging head nod. Obama will then continue down the East Coast before taking on the tour's biggest challenge: gazing with confidence into the eyes of a hostile Southern electorate that largely rejects his policies.

MORE


 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8541485



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Offline PatriotGame

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Re: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2010, 11:22:36 PM »
What happened to his "laser" focus on creating millions of jobs that would reduce that 17% national unemployment level?
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Offline Happy Fun Ball

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Re: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2010, 12:35:31 AM »
Quote from: PatriotGame on June 11, 2010, 11:22:36 PM
What happened to his "laser" focus on creating millions of jobs that would reduce that 17% national unemployment level?
Which nation?
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Offline PatriotGame

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Re: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2010, 01:33:59 AM »
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           ►☼Liberals Are THE Root of ALL Evil!☼◄

Offline Freeper

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Re: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2010, 08:53:51 AM »
Well I have to admit he's done wonders for Mexico's unemployment rate by welcoming the illegals with open arms here.  :lmao:
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I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline jukin

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Re: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2010, 09:30:46 AM »
Obama is a mildly capable entry level manager. Not that I would be the guy to give him that job.
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When you are the beneficiary of someone’s kindness and generosity, it produces a sense of gratitude and community.

When you are the beneficiary of a policy that steals from someone and gives it to you in return for your vote, it produces a sense of entitlement and dependency.

Offline NHSparky

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Re: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2010, 09:30:53 AM »
And China's by having all those wonderful windmills built there.
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“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2010, 11:41:26 AM »
Just had a brillant idea...we get one of those beanie caps with a propeller on top for Obama...he gives off enough hot air to supply all the energy we need.
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2010, 12:40:30 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on June 12, 2010, 11:41:26 AM
Just had a brillant idea...we get one of those beanie caps with a propeller on top for Obama...he gives off enough hot air to supply all the energy we need.

I gots a better idea! I hear they can make methane from shit and use it to power generators!

He's so full of it, we could be energy independent within a week! That is of course, if his EPA will let us build the plants!
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I'm the guy your mother warned you about!
 
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