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Author Topic: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler  (Read 4443 times)

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Offline bijou

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Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« on: June 07, 2010, 10:50:32 AM »
Quote
Authorities in Wenatchee, Washington, were surprised to find that the man had managed to sneak a cigarette lighter, cigarette papers, a bag of tobacco the size of a golf-ball, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a small baggie of what was thought to be marijuana, and an inch-long smoking pipe into jail by hiding them up himself.

The man was booked into the jail last Wednesday on a disorderly conduct charge, said Chelan County Regional Justice Center administrator Phil Stanley, and nothing was discovered when he was initially strip searched. ...
link

Yet another smuggler with a capacious orifice.  :-)
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Offline debk

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2010, 11:58:17 AM »
Holy ....crap!   :o



Seriously....not only is it shocking that it would fit....but "he ain't right in the haid" to shove all that stuff up inside. I'm surprised he didn't damage or rip anything apart....


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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

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A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2010, 12:46:58 PM »
Quote from: debk on June 07, 2010, 11:58:17 AM
Holy ....crap!   :o



Seriously....not only is it shocking that it would fit....but "he ain't right in the haid" to shove all that stuff up inside. I'm surprised he didn't damage or rip anything apart....




One might speculate on just why he was able to crowd in so much. :o
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2010, 01:34:12 PM »
Well, he should, umm, 'Fit' right in with the jail population... 
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Offline soleil

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2010, 05:56:44 PM »
Where do you get these stories? ICK!!!!

And really, it must get a work out is all I'm sayin'.
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2010, 06:01:22 PM »
That ain't an anus.  That's a hatchback.
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Offline debk

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2010, 06:03:15 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on June 07, 2010, 06:01:22 PM
That ain't an anus.  That's a hatchback.

 :lmao:

Specialized U-Haul....
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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline Boudicca

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2010, 06:21:38 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on June 07, 2010, 01:34:12 PM
Well, he should, umm, 'Fit' right in with the jail population... 

Well, we know he's gonna end up someone's bitch and not vice versa, don't we?
Ick.  Don't people know stuff is supposed to go OUT of that orifice, not IN? :puke:
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2010, 06:33:18 PM »
They were really shocked when a DUmmie pulled a VW bug out!
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Offline chitownchica

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2010, 07:37:53 PM »
Yikes- reminds me of those pics on rotten.com of various things stuck up there... baby food jar and potato are the only things I can remember, but that's enough.
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Offline soleil

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2010, 08:37:44 PM »
Quote from: chitownchica on June 07, 2010, 07:37:53 PM
Yikes- reminds me of those pics on rotten.com of various things stuck up there... baby food jar and potato are the only things I can remember, but that's enough.

This gyno I know was called into surgery to help remove a glass mustard jar from this guy's rectum. He and his wife were getting "freaky". It almost killed him. He had to have a lot of his colon removed to get the thing out. Yikes. Can't imagine why they thought that was a good idea.
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2010, 09:18:52 PM »
Quote from: soleil on June 07, 2010, 08:37:44 PM
This gyno I know was called into surgery to help remove a glass mustard jar from this guy's rectum. He and his wife were getting "freaky". It almost killed him. He had to have a lot of his colon removed to get the thing out. Yikes. Can't imagine why they thought that was a good idea.

So it didn't kill him, it just rectum?
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Offline debk

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2010, 09:20:40 PM »
Quote from: thundley4 on June 07, 2010, 09:18:52 PM
So it didn't kill him, it just rectum?


grooooaaaaaaaaaaan.  :-)
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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline soleil

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2010, 09:50:02 PM »
Quote from: thundley4 on June 07, 2010, 09:18:52 PM
So it didn't kill him, it just rectum?
[/quote

Rectum damn near killed him!  :o
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Offline chitownchica

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #14 on: June 08, 2010, 02:12:31 AM »
Quote from: soleil on June 07, 2010, 08:37:44 PM
This gyno I know was called into surgery to help remove a glass mustard jar from this guy's rectum. He and his wife were getting "freaky". It almost killed him. He had to have a lot of his colon removed to get the thing out. Yikes. Can't imagine why they thought that was a good idea.

Oh my gosh Soleil- your poor friend! Whatever consenting adults want to do behind closed doors is fine with me, but I reserve the right to laugh and point at those people who get caught up in freakytime :rotf:
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Offline Toastedturningtidelegs

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2010, 06:16:49 AM »
Quote from: soleil on June 07, 2010, 08:37:44 PM
This gyno I know was called into surgery to help remove a glass mustard jar from this guy's rectum. He and his wife were getting "freaky". It almost killed him. He had to have a lot of his colon removed to get the thing out. Yikes. Can't imagine why they thought that was a good idea.
There was a video online of a guy putting a mason jar in his butt.......It didn't end well! :o :puke:
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #16 on: June 08, 2010, 07:21:47 AM »
I seem to remember a pic on rotten.com of a woman who was inserting a Coke bottle--the 1 liter variety--into her vagina.  Coke threatened to sue if the pic wasn't removed.  At first, rotten.com just blurred the logo on the bottle, but kept the pic.  Don't know if they ever completely removed the pic.
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Offline Toastedturningtidelegs

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #17 on: June 08, 2010, 08:09:25 AM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on June 08, 2010, 07:21:47 AM
I seem to remember a pic on rotten.com of a woman who was inserting a Coke bottle--the 1 liter variety--into her vagina.  Coke threatened to sue if the pic wasn't removed.  At first, rotten.com just blurred the logo on the bottle, but kept the pic.  Don't know if they ever completely removed the pic.
Have a Coke and a smile! :-)
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #18 on: June 08, 2010, 08:14:11 AM »
Quote from: Toastedturningtidelegs on June 08, 2010, 08:09:25 AM
Have a Coke and a smile! :-)

"I'd like to teach the world to fist"
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Offline Toastedturningtidelegs

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #19 on: June 08, 2010, 09:24:21 AM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on June 08, 2010, 08:14:11 AM
"I'd like to teach the world to fist"
"In perfect harmony"? :-)
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #20 on: June 08, 2010, 11:11:45 AM »
That's one big ass criminal......
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #21 on: June 08, 2010, 11:54:06 AM »
Quote from: chitownchica on June 08, 2010, 02:12:31 AM
Oh my gosh Soleil- your poor friend! Whatever consenting adults want to do behind closed doors is fine with me, but I reserve the right to laugh and point at those people who get caught up in freakytime :rotf:

I recall a few years ago a Femme had to have a lizard removed from her kitty kat! I thought that was bizarre! This is just.............

Booked for disorderly conduct? Sounds like he planned this! Must be a "small" businessman! Wonder what his "profit" margin is?
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #22 on: June 08, 2010, 12:26:03 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on June 08, 2010, 11:11:45 AM
That's one big ass criminal......

 :thatsright:
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"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
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Offline chitownchica

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #23 on: June 08, 2010, 09:50:39 PM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on June 08, 2010, 11:54:06 AM
I recall a few years ago a Femme had to have a lizard removed from her kitty kat! I thought that was bizarre! This is just.............

Booked for disorderly conduct? Sounds like he planned this! Must be a "small" businessman! Wonder what his "profit" margin is?

Wonder if that was Subway Kitty? :rotf:
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Offline vesta111

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #24 on: June 09, 2010, 05:51:21 AM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on June 08, 2010, 07:21:47 AM
I seem to remember a pic on rotten.com of a woman who was inserting a Coke bottle--the 1 liter variety--into her vagina.  Coke threatened to sue if the pic wasn't removed.  At first, rotten.com just blurred the logo on the bottle, but kept the pic.  Don't know if they ever completely removed the pic.

OK OK, some where down the line I was told that Hookers overseas douche with Coke, or did at one time.  So perhaps the woman had an extra busy night and needed all that coke.
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