My son is a finalist....

[BEG]

in the Design Emphasis 2010 Student Furniture Design Competition.  I don't know when they pick the winner but being a finalist is impressive to me....his mother.  As some of you know he won another competition a few months ago, he won $3000 and a trip to boston for that one.  He also has several scholarships, some for his grades from high school, one for his portfolio and others for other things that I can't remember.  

He has an internship at the same place my husband works (it wasn't nepotism I swear, my husband didn't even know he was in the running or got it until my son called him) and is taking a summer design class at The Art Center of Design in Pasadena (the Art Center is an impressive college for design for those of you who don't know   ).  It is quite a drive for him but it is only once a week.  I am so proud of my son, I can actually say my kid is not a slacker and works hard.  Woo Hoo.  He graduates from college next year.  I can't believe I have a son who will graduate COLLEGE soon.  

Also my youngest took the test to get into the GATE program.  GATE is their gifted and talented program.  She scored a 99%.  There are different levels and she was labeled:

General Intellectual - a student must obtain a total score of 98%ile or above on a nationally normed cognitive abilities test. Teacher observation of exceptional
classroom performance and/or ability, along with observations of characteristics of a gifted child contribute to this identification

She informed me before she took the test that she didn't want to be in the GATE program.  I told her to go ahead and take it.  Now what do I do?  Do I force her to be in GATE or what?


Since I am bragging on my kids I have to say something about my other daughter (the 16 year old).  One of her art pieces was selected out 10,000 entries (52 were chosen) for an art competition.  She also got all A's on her last report card.  The time before that she got all A's and one B.

[njpines]

Wow, sounds like you have 3 fabulous kids there, BEG!  There's lots of hard work behind all their accomplishments as well!

Our one-and-only boy will graduate from 8th grade in 3 weeks; I'm a bit older than you but I was 33 when I had him.  He's off to a Catholic high school next year and he's going to be SHOCKED at the difference in workload, I guarantee you!  Plus, he's playing football so he's going to have to learn some serious time management skills and fast.  I'll probably post some pics from the graduation after I get a photobucket account set up.

Can your daughter try the GATE program to see how she likes it?  She may really take to it once she understands what the classes will be like . . .

[debk]

Wow, sounds like you have 3 fabulous kids there, BEG!  There's lots of hard work behind all their accomplishments as well!

Our one-and-only boy will graduate from 8th grade in 3 weeks; I'm a bit older than you but I was 33 when I had him.  He's off to a Catholic high school next year and he's going to be SHOCKED at the difference in workload, I guarantee you!  Plus, he's playing football so he's going to have to learn some serious time management skills and fast.  I'll probably post some pics from the graduation after I get a photobucket account set up.

Can your daughter try the GATE program to see how she likes it?  She may really take to it once she understands what the classes will be like . . .

3 wks of school left? When did they start school? Our schools got out a week ago, but they will back in school around the 10th of August...

[Chris_]

My niece finished school yesterday.  She was up at 6am watching 'Finding Nemo'.

[rich_t]

in the Design Emphasis 2010 Student Furniture Design Competition.  I don't know when they pick the winner but being a finalist is impressive to me....his mother.  As some of you know he won another competition a few months ago, he won $3000 and a trip to boston for that one.  He also has several scholarships, some for his grades from high school, one for his portfolio and others for other things that I can't remember.  

He has an internship at the same place my husband works (it wasn't nepotism I swear, my husband didn't even know he was in the running or got it until my son called him) and is taking a summer design class at The Art Center of Design in Pasadena (the Art Center is an impressive college for design for those of you who don't know   ).  It is quite a drive for him but it is only once a week.  I am so proud of my son, I can actually say my kid is not a slacker and works hard.  Woo Hoo.  He graduates from college next year.  I can't believe I have a son who will graduate COLLEGE soon.  

Also my youngest took the test to get into the GATE program.  GATE is their gifted and talented program.  She scored a 99%.  There are different levels and she was labeled:

She informed me before she took the test that she didn't want to be in the GATE program.  I told her to go ahead and take it.  Now what do I do?  Do I force her to be in GATE or what?


Since I am bragging on my kids I have to say something about my other daughter (the 16 year old).  One of her art pieces was selected out 10,000 entries (52 were chosen) for an art competition.  She also got all A's on her last report card.  The time before that she got all A's and one B.

Why doesn't she want to be in the GATE program?

[Zeus]

Begs you are truly blessed to have such outstanding children.

I too am blessed with two outside the norm scholastically gifted and goal oriented kids.  My son graduated HS last year with the equivalent of 2 yrs college and recieved full ride scholastic & sports scholerships. He is attending a small christian liberal arts college in abilene where he is studing psychology and playing football. Already talking about doctorate degree. studies

my daughter didn't want to go into the gifted education program but settled for an accelerated acedemics program ( to me they are the same programs with different names but am told they aren't). She is undecided about career yet but is leaning toward social work/councelling.  I tell her with her attitude she should consider the WWE.

my two are polar opposites personality wise. My son always looks for a way to make everyone happy wheras my daughter is "this is the way it is,don't like it  tuff cookies".

[BEG]

Wow, sounds like you have 3 fabulous kids there, BEG!  There's lots of hard work behind all their accomplishments as well!

Our one-and-only boy will graduate from 8th grade in 3 weeks; I'm a bit older than you but I was 33 when I had him.  He's off to a Catholic high school next year and he's going to be SHOCKED at the difference in workload, I guarantee you!  Plus, he's playing football so he's going to have to learn some serious time management skills and fast.  I'll probably post some pics from the graduation after I get a photobucket account set up.

Can your daughter try the GATE program to see how she likes it?  She may really take to it once she understands what the classes will be like . . .

She was in EXPO since 1st grade back in Texas so she knows what it's like.  Back in Texas they took them out of class two or three times a week and the rest of the time she was with her friends in class.  Here there is a just a GATE class for every grade (but not at every school so there are kids from other schools who transfer to her school specifically for GATE).  

Apparently the great majority of those kids have been together since 1st grade.  She was put in GATE when we first moved here (from her test scores back in Texas).  She was there a week and a half before being "kicked out".  The principal said she was the last one in so the first one out and had to go because the class was too big.  I found out from my new neighbor who teaches at the middle school that it was most likely another parent demanding that their child be let in to the class. SHe said that the whole GATE program is very political, as in "who you know" and the parents are obnoxious.  She said they wouldn't have let my daughter in the class in the first place if there already was the max. number of kids allowable.  

I'm torn on if I should force her to be in the GATE program or not.  Ugh, she was so excited to be in EXPO every year in Texas.

[BEG]

Begs you are truly blessed to have such outstanding children.

I too am blessed with two outside the norm scholastically gifted and goal oriented kids.  My son graduated HS last year with the equivalent of 2 yrs college and recieved full ride scholastic & sports scholerships. He is attending a small christian liberal arts college in abilene where he is studing psychology and playing football. Already talking about doctorate degree. studies

my daughter didn't want to go into the gifted education program but settled for an accelerated acedemics program ( to me they are the same programs with different names but am told they aren't). She is undecided about career yet but is leaning toward social work/councelling.  I tell her with her attitude she should consider the WWE.

my two are polar opposites personality wise. My son always looks for a way to make everyone happy wheras my daughter is "this is the way it is,don't like it  tuff cookies".

Thanks Zeus.  It sure sounds like you have a ton to be proud of too.  Isn't it great having great kids! 

[BEG]

Why doesn't she want to be in the GATE program?

Read my reply above.  What would you do in the situation?  I haven't spoken to my husband about it at all because he is in China right now. 

[NHSparky]

Read my reply above.  What would you do in the situation?  I haven't spoken to my husband about it at all because he is in China right now. 

Sounds like it's time for me to e-mail my cousin and get her take on it.  She's an English teacher over at Fullerton HS.  PM me if you want her name.

[rich_t]

Read my reply above.  What would you do in the situation?  I haven't spoken to my husband about it at all because he is in China right now. 

Well....  If it were me (I was a major PITA with the school when my kids were enrolled), I'd go speak to the principal about the difference between what he told you and what you learned from your neighbor.

I would spend a lot of time asking my child about why they didn't want to be in the program.  If it is merely a matter of wanting to be with friends, I'd tell them they can make new friends.

At the end of the day though, YOU are the parent and you have an obligation to do what is best for your child even if they don't like it.

[Zeus]

Thanks Zeus.  It sure sounds like you have a ton to be proud of too.  Isn't it great having great kids! 

Sure am. I am still surprised my ex convinced my son a little liberal arts college offered a better deal than  UT, their offer was football only.. ever since my son son was about 8 yrs old his dream was to be longhorn first then a Denver Bronco.

[Wineslob]

Read my reply above.  What would you do in the situation?  I haven't spoken to my husband about it at all because he is in China right now.  

When he comes back I hope he dosen't give you lead poisoning.      















 

[Zeus]

Read my reply above.  What would you do in the situation?  I haven't spoken to my husband about it at all because he is in China right now. 

I know you didn't ask but my  .02 worth is let your daughter decide. As already advised I concur with having an in depth conversation with her. Agin in the end let her decide.  making decissions even if they turn out to be the wrong one or one causing regret are good learning tools and prepares the youngin's for the real world when they get unleashed upon it.

[BEG]

Sounds like it's time for me to e-mail my cousin and get her take on it.  She's an English teacher over at Fullerton HS.  PM me if you want her name.

Would you mind asking her opinion about it? 

[njpines]

3 wks of school left? When did they start school? Our schools got out a week ago, but they will back in school around the 10th of August...

Jersey public schools start the Wed. after Labor day so he didn't start til Sept. 9th.  They would have been finished on June 17th but with all the snow this year, they have to make up 5 snow days.

[rich_t]

I know you didn't ask but my  .02 worth is let your daughter decide. As already advised I concur with having an in depth conversation with her. Agin in the end let her decide.  making decissions even if they turn out to be the wrong one or one causing regret are good learning tools and prepares the youngin's for the real world when they get unleashed upon it.

I disagree.  As parents, we have the duty to do what is best for our kids, even if the kids don't like it.

As children get older there is nothing wrong with asking their opinion and discussing it, but at the end of the day the parent has the duty to make the decision; not the child.

[BEG]

Well....  If it were me (I was a major PITA with the school when my kids were enrolled), I'd go speak to the principal about the difference between what he told you and what you learned from your neighbor.

I would spend a lot of time asking my child about why they didn't want to be in the program.  If it is merely a matter of wanting to be with friends, I'd tell them they can make new friends.

At the end of the day though, YOU are the parent and you have an obligation to do what is best for your child even if they don't like it.

Well I was the parent and made her take the test but I also don't want to force her into something that she doesn't want to do.  I did that with my son a couple of times.  I forced him to play baseball and soccer, he hated it.  When he played soccer it was when we lived in Lake Havasu City, talk about hell on earth.  These poor kids would be the the point of almost passing out every time they played a game.  I made him finish the season but he still brings it up from time to time and he was a little guy when he played (I believe he was 4 years old).  He was about 6 years old when he started baseball and would cry every time I took him for practice (this was in Dallas).  He is even crying in the team picture.  It didn't kill him obviously and might have taught him not to quit something he started but my husband and I were the ones who forced him into playing in the first place.  We thought all kids HAD to play sports.  We found out our kids aren't sports kids, they are art kids.  Totally different type of kids.  One isn't better than the other, just wired differently.

I don;t want to force her into the GATE program and make her hate school.  On the other hand, I don't want her to miss out on an opportunity to help her succeed even more.  God knows the kids in CA need all the help they can with the shitty schools here.  They are cutting all their programs so I want her to have all the advantages she can get.

If the principal lied to me I highly doubt he will tell the truth if I confront him.  If he did tell me the truth then he will just say he told me the truth.  I also highly doubt if he will tell me that the GATE parents are all little snobby pukes either.    

[NHSparky]

Would you mind asking her opinion about it? 

Not at all, but if you want to ask her directly just let me know and I'll send the contact information along.

[rich_t]

BEG...

1st of all there is a HUGE difference between sports and education.  I'd never force a child to play a sport that they didn't like.

But do you really think that your little girl is better suited than you are to make decisions concerning education that can affect the rest of her life?

I'm sure you've mentioned it in the past, but remind me.  How old is she?

[BEG]

BEG...

1st of all there is a HUGE difference between sports and education.  I'd never force a child to play a sport that they didn't like.

But do you really think that your little girl is better suited than you are to make decisions concerning education that can affect the rest of her life?

I'm sure you've mentioned it in the past, but remind me.  How old is she?

She is 11 and will be going into 6th grade next year.  Yeah I know she should not be left to decide her education.  I'm sure if it was totally up to her she wouldn't go to school at all.  I haven't asked her in depth yet why she doesn't want to do GATE.  I remember her saying a few months ago that this one girl was making fun of her out on the playground because she was "kicked out" of GATE at the beginning of the year.  This girl was basically saying that my daughter was too stupid to be in GATE.  This girl was a GATE girl, it's like the GATE kids are a clique, probably because they have all been together for so long.  I don't want to label all GATE kids like this but there was a GATE boy who was making fun of her as well.  I told her at the time the boy probably liked her and that was why he was making fun of her.  I think she is afraid of not fitting in. 

[NHSparky]

I would have raised pure holy hell with them if they had tried to kick my kid out...to the effect of, if she wasn't "smart enough" to be let into GATE, why was she admitted in the first place?

Smells like politics to me--another reason to hate California.

[BEG]

I would have raised pure holy hell with them if they had tried to kick my kid out...to the effect of, if she wasn't "smart enough" to be let into GATE, why was she admitted in the first place?

Smells like politics to me--another reason to hate California.

They didn't say she wasn't smart enough, the principal said they had too many kids for the class and she was the last one in (we registered a couple of weeks before school started) so she was the first one out.  It was the GATE girl that was making fun of her saying she wasn't smart enough for GATE.

[rich_t]

She is 11 and will be going into 6th grade next year.  Yeah I know she should not be left to decide her education.  I'm sure if it was totally up to her she wouldn't go to school at all.  I haven't asked her in depth yet why she doesn't want to do GATE.  I remember her saying a few months ago that this one girl was making fun of her out on the playground because she was "kicked out" of GATE at the beginning of the year.  This girl was basically saying that my daughter was too stupid to be in GATE.  This girl was a GATE girl, it's like the GATE kids are a clique, probably because they have all been together for so long.  I don't want to label all GATE kids like this but there was a GATE boy who was making fun of her as well.  I told her at the time the boy probably liked her and that was why he was making fun of her.  I think she is afraid of not fitting in. 

Ahhh yes... I recall when my kids were that age.  Peer pressure really kicks in as well as the desire to be liked by all.

Kids that age can be excessively cruel to their classmates.

At this point if I were you:

I'd have some heart to heart talks with her about the program.  Her reasons for not wanting to enroll might be easily dealt with with a little astute handling.

I'd talk to your husband and get his input.  He may be in China, but I bet he can still get e-mail over there.


There are far too many parents (I'm not saying you are one) that are more interested in being a "friend" to their children than a "parent".

You know your kids better than anyone else on the planet.  Use your best judgement based on your knowledge of your kids to help guide you into making the decision that is BEST for your child.

The child might not LIKE your decision, but she is still too young to make her own decisions IMO.  Especially concerning something that will affect the rest of her life.

[debk]

If she was in once, then kicked out....I don't blame her for not wanting to go back.

Kids are cruel, they either don't know or don't care, why she was kicked out....they will make it because she wasn't smart enough.

While it's not the same thing, my son's preschool teacher said he needed to start kindergarten at 4 (he barely made the birthday cutoff by 12 days)....because he was bored. So we sent him off to kindergarten.

He then went to "Transition" that was for kids - primarily boys- who had gone to kindergarten, had learned too much in kindergarten to repeat it, but weren't mature enough for 1st grade. He's 28 and has never let me forget that we "held him back cause he 'flunked' kindergarten". He has an IQ in the upper 140's, is dyslexic and for years felt like he was 'stupid' because the other kids teased him about 'flunking' kindergarten....

The county school system no longer has Transition, and they encourage parents with children, particularly boys, with late birthdays...to hold the kids out of school another year. Simply because too many children...and many parents....interpreted it as "flunking kindergarten".

If your daughter will be in the same school as this year, with the same students and principal, and runs the risk of being last in -first out again....there is no way that I would put her through that.

Put her in art school or something after school where she can get something that she can't out of regular school and then get her in accelerated classes in HS.