On the USS Katie Couric somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico
Film crew: "Here Katie. Put this plastic bag over your head."
Katie: "Why?"
Film crew: "We hear it'll keep the salt water out of your eyes so you can see."
Katie: "Why do I need to see?"
Film crew: "Well, you don't but the story will seem more believeable."
Katie: "Why? Dan Rather got away with lying for 40 years. I got 20 more to go."
Film crew: "Just shut up before you suck all the air out of the bag."
Film crew: "Now slip these cement shoes on."
Katie: "Why?"
Film crew: "So you can sink to the bottom to get to the story."
Katie: "Why?"
Film crew: "Because. That's where the leaking oil well is."
Katie: "Oh."
Film crew: "Now put this end of this garden hose in your mouth."
Katie: "Why?"
Film crew: "So you can breath."
Katie: "Oh yeah. I forget to do that sometimes."
Film crew: "We'll hold this end and screw on more hoses as you go down."
Katie: "Why? I don't go down anymore, I got married."
Film crew: "No, no. While you're going down to the leaking oil well."
Katie: "Oh yeah."
Film crew: "OK now...we're just going to slide these cement shoes and you over the side now."
SPLASH....BLUB...BLUB....BLUB...
Film crew: "HEY! I thought you had the end of the garden hose?"
Film crew: "Hello...Dan....have we got a story for you."