I have often wondered how my brother and I turned out so different. My Mom explained it to me not so long ago. Both of my brothers were/are libs but my brother that died had drive and actually wanted to take care of himself. He decided one day he wanted to live in New York so he packed up, moved from Omaha, NE and stayed at the YMCA until he got a job (which he got with in a week). He got an apartment and moved in a few weeks later. He borrowed some money from my Mom for the deposit and first months rent and paid it back with in a year. He was successful until he married his wife. It went down hill about a year after he married her.
My other brother has always felt entitled. He just turned 49 in January and lives with my dad. He does work but has no desire to "move up" in the company (which he has worked for for at least 16 years), to get a new job or better himself. He did go to college and borrowed over 60k and does nothing with the degree. His intent was to go into photography so he bought all of the equipment which was expensive as hell (on credit) yet he has not earned one red cent from any of his photography (he graduated several years ago). He gives excuse after excuse why he can't do it. He hasn't touched his camera in well over a year. He refused to do weddings or other events because it isn't what he wanted to do with his photography. He wants to make coffee table books. Who in the heck is going to buy a coffee table book from someone who is an unknown? He also likes to do shocking stuff, like the Piss Christ crap. He idolized that guy. When he came to my house for Christmas he admitted that he had no self esteem and he wished he had done more with his life. This is what I think has happened to DU. For the most part the majority of them are like my brother (or worse) and have no self esteem at all. Everything is someone else's fault and they never take responsibility for any of their actions. My brother charged all of his camera equipment knowing he was going to file bankruptcy. He saw no problem with doing that. After all, the big bad CC companies gave him all that credit so it was their fault. He was really upset when he found he couldn't file on his student loans. He borrowed more than he needed, he blew what he didn't use for school. He has nothing to show for it. He did just get a "new" (new to him but used) car. It's an SUV. I had to laugh at him (and it did out loud) as he was the one who told me that everyone should be forced to drive cars that get over a certain gas millage and his SUV doesn't come close. My step-dad had to co-sign for him. He is 49 years old and needed a co-signer.
So anyway, back to the intent of this post. I asked my Mom why he turned out the way he did. My Mom got pregnant when she was 16 and had to get married. She said she grew up right along with my brother. She made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was letting my grandma (my Dad's mom) take over in a lot of instances. My grandma would bribe my brother to do everything. She also tried it with my other brother and me but by then my Mom had wised up and put a stop to it. My grandma would then do it behind my Mom's back. My grandma kind of took my brother over and acted like he was her son. If my brother didn't want to do something she either bribed him or gave an excuse for him. He got all of his money from my grandma and he never had to do anything for it. My Mom doesn't completely blame my grandma, she said she screwed up with him a lot. She admits that my brother is not "normal".
The attitude from the OP in this DU thread sounds like it could be written by my brother. He wouldn't even recognize that he was being a "bitch" like the OP did. The line between right and wrong is that blurred for him. He actually is a nice person but is so self absorbed and screwed up that the average person can't over look it to see that he means well. I can't see it most of the time because his other personality traits are overwhelming. I think I have said this before, if he was not my brother I would not choose to be around him or even know him.
