Author Topic: primitive has close call with knife  (Read 2497 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline franksolich

  • Scourge of the Primitives
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 58722
  • Reputation: +3102/-173
primitive has close call with knife
« on: April 18, 2010, 07:58:05 AM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x76812

Oh my.

Quote
kestrel91316  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Sat Apr-17-10 10:29 PM
Original message

Just had a close call with my super-sharp paring knife......
   
My avocado never ripened up well, so when I tried to whack the pit out with a chop from the knife, it didn't work. In the process of getting frustrated and careless I slashed the side of my left ring finger near the nail.

Muy stupido. Bled all over the kitchen counter before I realized how bad it was, lol. It'll be ok. I just stuck a bandaid and some neosporin on it.

Shameful, though. I'm supposed to know how to handle sharps safely.

I wouldn't trust a primitive with dulls, even.

Anyway, there's a secret to this, but it's probably too complicated for the primitives to understand.

Because I'm deaf, and balance and equilibrium are intellectual, rather than instinctive, I always take care to keep body appendages, if not the whole body, opposite the most likely direction of peril; when using a sharp knife, for example, I always cut away from the hand and fingers.

As incredible as it might seem, franksolich has never cut himself.

Quote
Warpy  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Sun Apr-18-10 01:34 AM
THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE, #09 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Original message

1. I hate it when the moon is in Klutz and I don't quite hit that pit dead on. Usually, I just pry the sucker out, since I'm mashing at least half the avocado for one thing while slicing the other half for something else.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23561
  • Reputation: +2481/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2010, 08:45:04 AM »
Next time try holding the avocado under your chin.

Strictly for stab-ability--er--stability's sake.

No, really.

 :uhsure:
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline BlueStateSaint

  • Here I come to save the day, because I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32553
  • Reputation: +1560/-191
  • RIP FDNY Lt. Rich Nappi d. 4/16/12
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2010, 08:50:14 AM »
Next time try holding the avocado under your chin.

Strictly for stab-ability--er--stability's sake.

No, really.

 :uhsure:

 :lmao: :rotf: :lmao: :rotf: :lmao: :rotf:
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline Vagabond

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2478
  • Reputation: +166/-52
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2010, 09:01:46 AM »
Hmmmm...

It seems that most people figure out to cut away from their body parts after cutting themselves once.  Considering the average age of the DUmpmonkies, we have further proof they never learn.  Fish have longer memories than most DUmmies.
There comes a time when even good men must run up the black flag of anarchy and slit throats. - H.L. Mencken

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2010, 09:44:48 AM »
What kind of brainless twit removes a pit from ANYTHING with a knife?  You dipshits ever hear of a spoon?
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline Randy

  • Resident Grouch with a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4244
  • Reputation: +202/-39
  • Odd
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2010, 09:54:18 AM »
What kind of brainless twit removes a pit from ANYTHING with a knife?  You dipshits ever hear of a spoon?

But but da TeeVee cooks all whack that pit with a knife to stick the blade in longerways and wiggle wiggle da pit free all easy-peasy and stuff.... ::)

Of course they leave it on the cutting board when they stick it in....OH and they use a knife bigger and stiffer than a paring knife.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23561
  • Reputation: +2481/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2010, 10:00:10 AM »
Of course they leave it on the cutting board when they stick it in....OH and they use a knife bigger and stiffer than a paring knife.
Dr. Freud, doctor Sigmund Freud, please call your office.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline jukin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16236
  • Reputation: +2118/-170
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2010, 11:21:31 AM »
This crisis clearly demands paring knife regulation so we do not have an incident like this ever happen again.
When you are the beneficiary of someone’s kindness and generosity, it produces a sense of gratitude and community.

When you are the beneficiary of a policy that steals from someone and gives it to you in return for your vote, it produces a sense of entitlement and dependency.

Offline kenth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1017
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2010, 01:22:59 PM »
LOL. A paring knife doesn't have the mass to sink into an avocado pit. It probably just glanced off. Although it probably is too bad he didn't use the correct knife. We could be reading about an amputation instead. Dang.

I remove avocado pits with a knife. Just a short whack and turn. Comes out perfectly clean. But I worked in a market for years and am comfortable around knives.

Offline Airwolf

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12164
  • Reputation: +912/-163
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2010, 05:45:26 PM »
When I was a kid I was in the basement building a model and had a X-xacto knife to remove the parts. I cut my finger in the same way as the OP and It took a chunk of my skin with it near the fingernail. Not only did it bleep but that pain folling the cut certainly was a good reminder of how not to cut things.
MOLON LABE

"Someday, when all your civilization and science are likewise swept away, your kind will pray for a man with a sword."-- Conan the Barbarian

Clint Eastwood - Because God wanted Chuck Norris to have nightmares.

"I am not a Number,I am a free man"

"He's my hero, you don't put away your heros, you honor them!"

Offline Tucker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10937
  • Reputation: +540/-97
  • Making money the old fashioned way- Paid Mole
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2010, 06:45:30 PM »
I remember reading something years ago about how males and females do certain things. One of them is using a knife. Males cut away from the body while females cut toward the body. Another one was putting your hand on your hips. Men have their fingers pointing to the front while women have their thumbs in front with their fingers pointing to the rear.

There's more but can't remember them at the moment.
Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.

Offline Chris

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1476
  • Reputation: +522/-16
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2010, 06:51:08 PM »
Just a tip... those guys you see on TV?  They've been doing the same thing every day for twenty and thirty years.  When you do the same thing every day year in and year out, you learn all that fancy stuff.  I've worked with chefs (you go to school for it and spend four years working as an apprentice, they get to call you "chef" at work) that bring their own knives to work in fancy boxes and take them home again at night.  These are the kind of people that won't think twice about spending $300 on a single knife.  When it comes to some of the detailed work they do, you get what you pay for.  Try dicing a pepper to 1/16th of an inch.  It's not easy.

Don't try it at home, kids.
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

Offline GOBUCKS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24186
  • Reputation: +1812/-339
  • All in all, not bad, not bad at all
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2010, 06:56:00 PM »
Quote
I've worked with chefs (you go to school for it and spend four years working as an apprentice, they get to call you "chef" at work) that bring their own knives to work in fancy boxes and take them home again at night.

Sounds like Jim, the Original Fry Cook at the Krusty Krab.

Offline Chris

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1476
  • Reputation: +522/-16
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2010, 06:57:48 PM »
You do run into a lot of egos.  This one asshole (I swear the man was illiterate) got hired to run the restaurant where I worked after high school.  I think the only reason they hired him was he could carve ice.  Running a kitchen?  He was worthless.  Dude ran out of french fries and ice cream on a Friday night.  That's like the dollar store running out of dollars.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2010, 07:00:14 PM by Chris »
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

Offline BEG

  • "Mile Marker"
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17277
  • Reputation: +1062/-301
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2010, 09:03:21 PM »
When I was a kid I was in the basement building a model and had a X-xacto knife to remove the parts. I cut my finger in the same way as the OP and It took a chunk of my skin with it near the fingernail. Not only did it bleep but that pain folling the cut certainly was a good reminder of how not to cut things.

When I was in third grade we were making imprints by carving a design in a piece of leather using a leather carving tool (it was shaped like a V).  The teacher said "if any of you kids cut yourself that means you were being careless" right as I cut my thumb with it. I cut it right below the nail.  I was afraid to tell her so I held it with my other hand (putting pressure on it with my other thumb) and asked her if I could go to the bathroom. I went to the nurse and she got it to stop bleeding then bandaged it up. Obviously the teacher noticed I cut myself when I got back to class. I can't remember what she said. I have a scar to this day and my nail grows out funny right above where I cut it. I must have screwed up the nail bed.

By the way, I get the pit out the same way the DUmmie does only I use a larger knife. I have never cut myself. I do have a hard time getting the pit off the knife because it is a little slimey and hard to hold onto. I usually take a paper towel and hold the pit to get it off the knife.
 

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1998/-134
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2010, 04:27:22 AM »
Outlaw avocado....they are not DUmmie proof.
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Karin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17752
  • Reputation: +1895/-81
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2010, 08:00:23 AM »
jukin, not only do we need paring knife regulation, we need lots of funding for a nationwide educational campaign, including Super Bowl commercials.  STOP PARING KNIFE INJURIES NOW!!!

Anyway, me, I just purchase my guacamole. 


Offline GOBUCKS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24186
  • Reputation: +1812/-339
  • All in all, not bad, not bad at all
Re: primitive has close call with knife
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2010, 11:23:10 AM »
jukin, not only do we need paring knife regulation, we need lots of funding for a nationwide educational campaign, including Super Bowl commercials.  STOP PARING KNIFE INJURIES NOW!!!

Anyway, me, I just purchase my guacamole. 
Democrats would only favor common sense paring knife laws.
I've never cut an avocado in my life. In fact, I was probably in my thirties before I knew what an avocado looked like. Before that, if I heard the word, I probably thought it was some kind of tropical bird. "The jungle was alive with the loud courtship calls of male avocados." I've still never bought one, wouldn't know what to do with it if I did.