I've been a little concerned about the CalPig. She hasn't passed any CalPig "poetry" in several days, and it seemed like she may have been all plugged up. A person can only hold so much "poetry" before risking a very messy explosion. But not to worry! The CalPig is still with us, even though she still hasn't relieved herself of any "poetry":
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 01:16 AM
Original message
I made an announcement tonight at the open mic...
I want to tell all of you, too!
I have decided, that even though I'm old, I'm not too old to learn new stuff.
Therefore, I am going to apply for a Masters of Fine Arts!
I hope they will accept me into the program...
I feel that I will improve my poetry and stretch and grow in ways I never thought possible!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9331255This is reminiscent of the announcement by the cross-eyed, terminally fat, partially deaf, simple-minded DUmmy Hawkeye-X announcing his plans for a degree in veterinary medicine. His veterinary career, in many ways, parallels the CalPig's career as a "poet".
DUmmy UrbScotty can post at the DUmp, but is apparently unable to read:
UrbScotty (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 01:29 AM
Response to Original message
3. That's great, my dear CaliforniaPeggy!
You already are a 'small-m' master when it comes to poetry...
...so I can't wait to see you become a big-M Master!
Well, in her "poetry", the CalPig often masturbates, but that's as close as she gets to being a master.
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 01:32 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. My dear UrbScotty!
Thanks, sweetie...
You know, I never thought I'd want an advanced degree...I thought I'd had all the schooling I'd ever want.
But this is different...
I want to grow!
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 02:17 AM
Response to Reply #17
I just hope they will admit me...
That's the big hurdle.
I am really looking forward to it!
Somehow, this deal has the odor of the chinless Alabama butterball on it. Could the CalPig be trying to cash in on some of that Li'l-Ava-goes-to-college adulation?
denbot (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 02:57 AM
Response to Original message
23. Right on Miss CP!!!
Where are you going to go? LMU? UCLA? Dear god not USC?!?!?
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 03:06 AM
Response to Reply #23
24. My dear denbot!
Oh, no...none of those!
I'm going to apply to Cal State Long Beach. My husband is already a student down there, and they have a senior program which grants degrees, if you want one. He doesn't.
This program cuts the cost waaaaaaaaaaay down. It's $3.00 a semester tuition. Plus books. Can't be beat!
I hope they find me worthy...I think they will...
Time will tell!
$3 A SEMESTER!!?!! Remind me again why it is that California, despite astronomical taxes, is on the verge of bankruptcy. The CalPig won't even need one of those weird "full book" scholarships, like the one Pam's daughter Holli allegedly got. Oh, I forgot - DUmmy greenbriar made that one up. Anyway, I'm sure any "degree" the CalPig gets from that program will be worth exactly what she paid for it.
MiddleFingerMom (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 08:54 AM
Response to Original message
32. Congratulations!!!
.
Of all the people whose poetry I've read since leaving school, you're
the most worthy and deserving and suitable for an MFA program.
.
Many, if not most of the peers of mine whose work I respected as
undergrads went on for that degree. You deserve to be in their company.
.
I wanna see a picture of you doing a kegstand at a frat party.
I wonder what MFA stands for.
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 03:08 PM
Response to Reply #47
52. My dear av8rdave!
Oooh, thanks!
I sure hope I will do well...
I'll have to write a Master's thesis!
motely36 (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 12:25 PM
Response to Original message
49. $3.00 a semester?
My Masters cost $1500 per class! I think it's great to give a break to seniors, but what about the rest of us struggling to pay to get our degrees?
Cheap. I paid $1200/credit hour for my youngest daughter's master's degree. I'm sure others have paid even more.
Shell Beau (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 09:24 PM
Response to Reply #49
82. $3 does seem messed up with all the teacher lay offs and such.
I wish the really poor could go to college for $3. Doesn't make sense. I am all for affordable anything for the elderly, but our children are our future. Something is so messed up with our educational system.
Something is surely messed up with a system that would admit the CalPig to a poetry program.
Gormy Cuss (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-14-10 04:22 PM
Response to Original message
60. Good luck with the admissions process, CAPeggy -- it should be straight forward enough
but if Cal State is letting anyone enroll in degree programs for only $3/semester that's seriously screwed up. There are many talented young students who can't get enough aid, or who end up with loans that will take years to pay off, just to pay the fairly modest standard Cal State fees.
It's really, really rare, almost unheard of, for DUmmies to make negative comments on a CalPig thread. For some unfathomable reason, she's almost as revered by the DUmpmonkeys as the worthless alcoholic William Rivers Pitt was before his 24-business-hour catastrophe.
Finally, once again, from TLB:
Don't get me wrong - her poetry isn't bad. It's awful. It's the kind of thing that would blind God if He had to read it. It's a collection of words that should be machine-gunned down, one by one, preferably out in the desert, with no witnesses, and a nice young girl who could be counted on to claim that she'd been shooting jackrabbits. It's so bad, mirrors crack if anyone looking into a mirror while thinking of one of CP's poems runs the risk of permanent scarring, even blindness, while thinking of it as he peers into the mirror.
Her poetry needs immolation. She needs to have all writing implements and keyboards, paper, blank walls, toilet paper, paper towels, margins in newspapers, and even the blank part of framed works of art removed from her home until this idea that she's writing "poetry" passes. Maybe medication will help.
