My daughter's Bullying experience

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Robyn66 Donating Member (767 posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Fri Apr-02-10 09:24 AM
Original message
My daughter's Bullying experience
   
I pulled my daughter out of school in 5th grade for the last 6 weeks of school because of bullying. She still has the scars today (she is a freshman in highschool) We have been talking a lot about Phoebe Prince and all I can say is "There but for the grace of God go I"

My daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in 3rd grade. Before that she was categorized as "nonverbal learning disability" which was GREAT for the school because it limited the services they had to provide to her. And they did the bare minimum.

Third grade was the first really bad year. She had a cruel teacher who would single her out and demean her in front of the class for her "odd" autistic behavior. This caused her peers who had up until now not really been too bad with her to really start to have a great time making fun of her and being nasty.

The Special Needs department had absolutely no idea how to work with a child on the spectrum. I brought in books and videos I bought my self that they never watched or read. My daughter's aid was someone off the street with no training. Sometimes this worked out well sometimes it was a nightmare. She had a fabulous aide for a while and then they decided without telling me to switch aids off half way through the day. My daughter had a HUGE problem with change of any kind at the time so she started scratching and biting herself and I didn't know why. When I found out I begged them to put her aid back for the whole day, which they refused to do.

Back to third grade. She had a real asshole for an aide who joined in with the third grade teacher in reprimanding her in front of the class, and instead of treating her with dignity demeaned her and really made it clear that she was some how less than the other kids.

So the bullying escalated.

My daughter came home telling me how bad things were. How mean the kdis were how mean the teachers were.

MY daughter was morbidly afraid of "The Grinch that Stole Christmas" and Bees at the time. She would really freak out. It was extremely entertaining for the kids to go up behind her and buzz or say the word GRINCH because she would scream and run no matter where she was at whatever time. And then they had the added pleasure of seeing HER get in trouble for disruptive behavior.

And these kids were NOT troubled kids from bad homes. These were the little princes and princesses that played sweet in front of people that most thought were the nicest kids in the school. They would have these stupid awards at the end of the year. Not for anyhting real like for Spelling or math or science which my daughter excelled in, but for best smile or helping out in the hall. And these little assholes won everything and my daughter felt like a failure.

When I went to the school many many many many times and had meetings with the special ed department, the principal and at IEP meetings I would beg and sometimes be in tears. PLEASE have SOMEONE just walk to lunch with her or tell the lunch teachers to watch her in line or understand she has a disability and these kids are bullying her. Or I would tell them what she was telling me about what was happening with the aides and the kids.

What I got from the school was

We don't see any of this happening and we ALWAYS watch over her

HER teacher just LOVES her I don't understand what you are talking about

SHE doesn't act upset at school

THESE KIDS have such overactive imaginations

WHEN THESE KIDS don't want to do schoolwork they make these things up

This went on till 5th grade. I tried screaming, I tried begging, I tried working with the school and playing nice. In the mean time a lot of aides in the school (the decent ones) were quitting.

I found out that her 5th grade teacher didn't agree with her IEP so she was disregarding it. When I called the school to file a complaint they said they worked it out with the teacher but that turned out to be a lie.

Finally, my daughter was so sick and horrified at going to school I had an independent observer go in to see what was going on.

I wish I had done that years ago.

EVERYTHING MY DAUGHTER SAID WAS TRUE

We had one more meeting where the school district special ed department SCREAMED at me and my advocate about how WE violated the chain of command by having the independent observer.

She didn't go back to school again.

The principal said I would have to set up a full year home school course for just 6 weeks and "did I really think it was worth the trouble"

I said my daughter's wellbeing was worth the trouble. AND that was a lie anyway. We didn't need to set up a whole year.

I found a tutor and she finished 5th grade that way but the damage was more than done.

I still don't know HOW BAD it really was at the school because when I come across people who quit many of them quit over what was happening to my daughter but they CANT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE THE LAW SOMEHOW PROHIBITS THEM FROM TELLING ME WHAT WENT ON AT THE SCHOOL. So they just tell me "they saw things" or "they knew thing" but they can't say. I have just asked them not to even go there now because I can't sleep nights just imagining it being worse than I already know.

We just don't have the money for a lawyer to sue the school system and by that time we were so burned out and only cared about our daughters wellbeing that we dropped it but I don't think we should have.

There was an autism program in Middle school that was AWESOME. The kids still treated my daughter like shit. She couldn't eat in the cafeteria or go to recess it was so bad. But by 8th grade she had made some friends and won an award from President Obama for being on the honor roll for every quarter since school started in 6th grade. AND she won the School Spirit award. None of the little bitches she went to school with that tortured her won anything which was great!

Now in high school there is another great autism program and she has developed skills that make a lot of people not even realize she has Aspergers which can be both good and bad at times. Things are kind of tough again but at least she has some friends to hang out with but she is in therapy because she actually has PTSD from what happened to her in Elementary school. The reason she is in therapy is because she said at school this fall she wanted to commit suicide.

We were talking about Phoebe Prince and she told me she could completely understand why she did it, and that she wanted to die many times.

We were very lucky to catch her before she fell. But I can see how easy it would be to miss it.

The teachers of South Hadley High School and the administrators deserve everything they get and more. I hope they get sued blind. I wish they could find a way to charge them as accessories.

Bullying is not character building, it is not an acceptable part of life it is WRONG. These kids and teachers need to be made an example of and maybe something will be done to really protect the victims instead of the bullies for a change!!!

My daughter has survived. I keep telling her that she can take a helicopter to her high school reunion and these other assholes will still have their WALMART greeter vests on.

Not sure if this is for DUmmie street creed or not. Notice they had to take a crack at WalMart in this story? 



http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8074311

[The Village Idiot]

Another DUmmie reason to abolish public schools. Not that they'll see it that way, of course.

BTW- What is Asbergers Syndrome and why do all DUmmies seem to have it?

[JohnnyReb]

Another DUmmie reason to abolish public schools. Not that they'll see it that way, of course.

BTW- What is Asbergers Syndrome and why do all DUmmies seem to have it?

DAMNIFINO....probably has something to do with being raised by moonbats.

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Gov Palin was mocked and ridiculed for bringing a Down's pregnancy to term.

Why aren't the DUmbasses being consistent in mocking and ridiculing one of their one for not terminating a troubled pregnancy?

[IassaFTots]

Another DUmmie reason to abolish public schools. Not that they'll see it that way, of course.

BTW- What is Asbergers Syndrome and why do all DUmmies seem to have it?

A milder form of Autism.

[Alpha Mare]

Signs and symptoms of Asperger's syndrome include:

Engaging in one-sided, long-winded conversations, without noticing if the listener is listening or trying to change the subject

Displaying unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact, few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures
 
Showing an intense obsession with one or two specific, narrow subjects, such as baseball statistics, train schedules, weather or snakes
 
Appearing not to understand, empathize with or be sensitive to others' feelings
 
Having a hard time "reading" other people or understanding humor
 
Speaking in a voice that is monotonous, rigid or unusually fast

The main symptom is severe trouble with social situations.

 It's a type of high functioning autism related specifically to social and communication skills -- skills the DUmmies don't have.  They claim to be Aspies, it's the new catch-all.  

[kenth]

Another DUmmie reason to abolish public schools. Not that they'll see it that way, of course.

BTW- What is Asbergers Syndrome and why do all DUmmies seem to have it?

ADD/ADHD/pick your own letter combo for the 21st century.

[AprilRazz]

As the parent of an autistic child that is now a senior in high school, I can say that there are so many holes in that story I don't even know where to begin.

[BlueStateSaint]

As the parent of an autistic child that is now a senior in high school, I can say that there are so many holes in that story I don't even know where to begin.

One of my cube farm mates has a son who is a police officer in a local village, and he had dyslexia.

[Tucker]

This didn't happen. The Bird-brained66 primitive wanted to re enforce Willie the Pimps story on bullying. Same school too.

One bounce and splat! 

[The Village Idiot]

Her and her daughter are probably on "medical" pot if thats California.

[Tucker]

South Hadley High School in MA. For both Pitts and her tale.

[AllosaursRus]

This didn't happen. The Bird-brained66 primitive wanted to re enforce Willie the Pimps story on bullying. Same school too.

One bounce and splat! 

Incredible these asshats can never come up with an original, ain't it? Gee wizz!

[Carl]

This didn't happen. The Bird-brained66 primitive wanted to re enforce Willie the Pimps story on bullying. Same school too.

One bounce and splat! 

They can never just comment on a story or offer an opinion without having to make themselves part of it somehow.

Another window into the demented and immature workings of a liberal mind.
Everything has to always be about them.

[ChuckJ]

They can never just comment on a story or offer an opinion without having to make themselves part of it somehow.

Another window into the demented and immature workings of a liberal mind.
Everything has to always be about them.

That reminds me...

So I was fishing off the coast of Somalia the other day when a small boat came charging up to me. I could tell right away by their firearms that they were pirates. At first they demanded anything that I had of value. Then they noticed the "Zero is Number One" sticker that I have on my boat. It resulted in an interesting conversation.

Pirate: Are you a supporter of the great one with ears?
Me: If you are speaking of the messianic pony bringer I am indeed.
Pirate: You are so lucky to live in the shadow of his ears. Our land is without ponies.
Me: It's probably Shrub's fault.
Pirate: A shrub caused our land to be without ponies? How is this possible?
Me. Shrub is the cause of all problems. Especially the lack of ponies. If not for Shrub Lord Zero would already have ponies to every single individual by now.
Pirate: How would the eared one get so many ponies?
Me: By taking from the rich.
Pirate: Hmmm. That is much like a pirate. And you support this?
Me: Oh yes. Absolutely. The rich have much too much.
Pirate: Good! Give me your valuables!
Me: But why? I'm not rich!
Pirate: Yes you are! You have more than me!

With this the pirates took all of my Cheetos and sped off. Probably a bunch of Faux watching repukes.

[BlueStateSaint]

That reminds me...

So I was fishing off the coast of Somalia the other day when a small boat came charging up to me. I could tell right away by their firearms that they were pirates. At first they demanded anything that I had of value. Then they noticed the "Zero is Number One" sticker that I have on my boat. It resulted in an interesting conversation.

Pirate: Are you a supporter of the great one with ears?
Me: If you are speaking of the messianic pony bringer I am indeed.
Pirate: You are so lucky to live in the shadow of his ears. Our land is without ponies.
Me: It's probably Shrub's fault.
Pirate: A shrub caused our land to be without ponies? How is this possible?
Me. Shrub is the cause of all problems. Especially the lack of ponies. If not for Shrub Lord Zero would already have ponies to every single individual by now.
Pirate: How would the eared one get so many ponies?
Me: By taking from the rich.
Pirate: Hmmm. That is much like a pirate. And you support this?
Me: Oh yes. Absolutely. The rich have much too much.
Pirate: Good! Give me your valuables!
Me: But why? I'm not rich!
Pirate: Yes you are! You have more than me!

With this the pirates took all of my Cheetos and sped off. Probably a bunch of Faux watching repukes.

While the first element of a bouncy ("So") is there, there was no conversion, nor was there any UN Maritime Cops jumping out of piles of seaweed.  Two bongs, mainly for the new setting (oceanic).

[JohnnyReb]

While the first element of a bouncy ("So") is there, there was no conversion, nor was there any UN Maritime Cops jumping out of piles of seaweed.  Two bongs, mainly for the new setting (oceanic).

Oh, but these pirates used bushes on there boat for camouflage....that's why the DUmmie didn't see them coming.

[ChuckJ]

Oh, but these pirates used bushes on there boat for camouflage....that's why the DUmmie didn't see them coming.

Yeah, Yeah, that's the ticket. And the fish were converted after I introduced them to Morgan Fairchild.

[formerlurker]

As the parent of an autistic child that is now a senior in high school, I can say that there are so many holes in that story I don't even know where to begin.

Yes and no.  I help a lot of families and I can see this happening for the most part.  Aspie kids get royally screwed over with services.  Shame too as most are brilliant students.

[terry]

Yes and no.  I help a lot of families and I can see this happening for the most part.  Aspie kids get royally screwed over with services.  Shame too as most are brilliant students.

I agree, things like that do happen. It really depends on the school.  If it is true, the mom let the child suffer an awfully long time before doing the logical thing, removing the child from the school.

As someone else pointed out, it is a perfect case supporting school choice.  If there were some free market forces in play in education, the mom could have easily just transferred the child to a school more suited to the needs of her child.

[docstew]

Yeah, Yeah, that's the ticket. And the fish were converted after I introduced them to Morgan Fairchild whom I've seen naked.

fixt

[zeitgeist]

That reminds me...

So I was fishing off the coast of Somalia the other day when a small boat came charging up to me. I could tell right away by their firearms that they were pirates. At first they demanded anything that I had of value. Then they noticed the "Zero is Number One" sticker that I have on my boat. It resulted in an interesting conversation.

Pirate: Are you a supporter of the great one with ears?
Me: If you are speaking of the messianic pony bringer I am indeed.
Pirate: You are so lucky to live in the shadow of his ears. Our land is without ponies.
Me: It's probably Shrub's fault.
Pirate: A shrub caused our land to be without ponies? How is this possible?

Me. Shrub is the cause of all problems. Especially the lack of ponies. If not for Shrub Lord Zero would already have ponies to every single individual by now.
Pirate: How would the eared one get so many ponies?
Me: By taking from the rich.
Pirate: Hmmm. That is much like a pirate. And you support this?
Me: Oh yes. Absolutely. The rich have much too much.
Pirate: Good! Give me your valuables!
Me: But why? I'm not rich!
Pirate: Yes you are! You have more than me!

With this the pirates took all of my Cheetos and sped off. Probably a bunch of Faux watching repukes.

Remember this one ( I will just link the FR site I first saw it on, have to make a "dump run", the City Yard closes early on Saturday.) 

Link to Great Pirate story on FR.....

Things you can do with a 12 ga and 00 buck.

[The Village Idiot]

Pirate: Yes With this the pirates took all of my Cheetos and sped off. Probably a bunch of Faux watching repukes.

lol!

[PatriotGame]

 It's a type of high functioning autism related specifically to social and communication skills -- skills the DUmmies don't have.  They claim to be Aspies, it's the new catch-all.  

Aspies pays more in taxpayer funded handouts than general "DUmmy****edUpInTheHead" disease so do the math.

[formerlurker]

Aspies pays more in taxpayer funded handouts than general "DUmmy****edUpInTheHead" disease so do the math.

Actually it doesn't pay anything at all.  Adult services are based on cognitive abililty.   The far majority of Aspie kids/adults are brilliant (Bill Gates for instance).