Splat! Another CalPig "Poem" Splashes Into The DUmp

[GOBUCKS]

Well, since that kidney stone passed the CalPig has been gushing "poetry" like an open fire hydrant. I'm sure everyone appreciates how she gives lots of words their own line. When you select your words more or less at random, it's only fair to do that, since any one word in the "poem" shares little or no kinship with its fellow selectees.

So, without further ado, enjoy the DUmp's answer to Punxsutawney Phil:

CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Sat Mar-20-10 12:23 AM
Original message
My poem in honor of........Spring...Not what you expect... 
Sacrifice

Put your heart
on
the altar

let the gods
slash

there will be
blood
from

that purity


your love
will
flow

down

renew the
planet

in the spring

time to
sacrifice

yourself



© 2010 MLC

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9300985

The always-appropriate description of the CalPig's "poetry":

Don't get me wrong - her poetry isn't bad.  It's awful.  It's the kind of thing that would blind God if He had to read it.  It's a collection of words that should be machine-gunned down, one by one, preferably out in the desert, with no witnesses, and a nice young girl who could be counted on to claim that she'd been shooting jackrabbits.  It's so bad, mirrors crack if anyone looking into a mirror while thinking of one of CP's poems runs the risk of permanent scarring, even blindness, while thinking of it as he peers into the mirror.

Her poetry needs immolation.  She needs to have all writing implements and keyboards, paper, blank walls, toilet paper, paper towels, margins in newspapers, and even the blank part of framed works of art removed from her home until this idea that she's writing "poetry" passes.  Maybe medication will help.

Despite TLB's disdain for the CalPig's "poetry", please note the copyright. As always, you may recite this poem for the enjoyment of family and friends, as many of us do, but you must refrain from accepting any payment from your audience.

LeftyFingerPop  (1000+ posts)      Sat Mar-20-10 12:37 AM
Response to Original message
1. Niceeee Peggy. n/t

 
 

CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Sat Mar-20-10 12:39 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. My dear LeftyFingerPop! 
I was feeling a bit more brutal than I normally do!

Her brutality toward the language and the concept of poetry is legendary.

 

LeftyFingerPop  (1000+ posts)      Sat Mar-20-10 12:42 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. I like the poem...
and the hard edge.   

Oh god no! No! Never use the word "hard" with the CalPig! She'll post another of her erotic poems.

Prisoner_Number_Six  (1000+ posts)        Sat Mar-20-10 12:44 AM
Response to Original message
5. THAT is the best poem you have ever created.
Bar none.

The student becomes the master.

I cannot decide if DUmmy PNS is an absolute imbecile, or a sarcastic troll.

CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Sat Mar-20-10 12:49 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. My dear Prisoner_Number_Six! 
Really?

How can you say that?

I mean, it's just a riff on spring, sacrificial lambs (or whatever) and I just dashed it off earlier tonight.

I hardly did any editing!

This is crazyness!

Still.....

Thank you.

Haole Girl  (1000+ posts)     Sat Mar-20-10 01:11 AM
Response to Original message
8. I'm still digesting this one
you posted it at an interesting time in my life, so I can't be objective about it...

Clearly, the CalPig has thoroughly digested these words and extracted all their nutritional value before passing them on to the DUmp. In fact, "digested words" might be a better name for it than "poetry".

demtenjeep  (1000+ posts)     Sat Mar-20-10 01:35 AM
Response to Original message
16. nice
How do you get inspired?

Another one who begs the question: Imbecile, or troll?

CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Sat Mar-20-10 01:38 AM
Response to Reply #16
17. My dear demtenjeep! 
Well....I pay attention to what's going on inside my head...

And I observe my world closely, at least some of the time...

I always did this, but since I've been writing poetry, I do it more.

It's fun, too...
Thanks, sweetie!

Now that she has achieved regularity, we can expect another "poem" every day or so.

[crockspot]

time to
sacrifice

yourself

slit slit slit slit

[miskie]

Sacrifice

Give your votes
to
the messiah

forget voters,
polls

there will be
blood
from

your actions


The One
needs
your

jobs

renew the
congress

in the fall

time to
sacrifice

yourself



© 2010 M.

[Specbid]

I'd almost rather read her stupid-ass poetry than read her responses. "My dear (insert a$$hole DUmmie name here)" makes me ill.

[Traveshamockery]

I'd almost rather read her stupid-ass poetry than read her responses. "My dear (insert a$$hole DUmmie name here)" makes me ill.

 


My dear Specbid,

DITTO!!! 

 

[Specbid]

 


My dear Specbid,

I shoulda' known that was gonna' happen. 

[shadeaux]

CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Sat Mar-20-10 01:38 AM
Response to Reply #16

17. My dear demtenjeep! 

 Well....I pay attention to what's going on inside my head...

And I observe my world closely, at least some of the time...

I always did this, but since I've been writing poetry, I do it more.

It's fun, too...

Thanks, sweetie!

 

Air in the head, blinders on the eyes.

Say what you will, at least it's not about her hunger for sex.   

[Randy]

So if I read that right it's the voices in her head that write this shit?

[NHSparky]

Is it too late to put forks into my eyes?

[BlueStateSaint]

Sacrifice

Give your votes
to
the messiah

forget voters,
polls

there will be
blood
from

your actions


The One
needs
your

jobs

renew the
congress

in the fall

time to
sacrifice

yourself



© 2010 M.

[delilahmused]

Well, I see the California piggy ran out of tampons again.

Cindie

[Boudicca]

It dawned on me, reading this latest tripe from CalPiggy that she truly HATES poety and is one a one person mission to eradicate it from the face of the planet.  Alas that she chose such an unimportant venue as the DUmp to begin her campaign.
Either the above, or she's a lunatic who believes what she vomits is poetry.

[The Village Idiot]

I never understand these poems. Is this about menstruation?? I swear DU males are so feminine they have them too.

[miskie]

I never understand these poems. Is this about menstruation?? I swear DU males are so feminine they have them too.

I thinks its more that CalPeg has found a way to get all sorts of love from the primitives by stringing words together into a pseudo intellectual freeform style that does a poor job at describing imagery - the only thing that freeform poetry does.

The scary thing is I now understand her formula, even if she doesn't consciously know what she is doing.

So with that, here is a little CPeg poem primer... with examples.

1. find an object and describe it

Microsoft Natural Keyboard
curved, black, buttons, hard, soft, worn, white, silver.

2. Find an object or action that some or all of the descriptive words may apply to, preferably something sexual, violent, or sad.

An old whore.

3. Write a couple of sentences that merge the symbolism.

My keyboard is curved, like an old whore's ass - old and worn, hard and unforgiving in most places, but still soft and forgiving in a few. They both have jobs to do, and do them regularly without emotion or complaint. Both are dressed in black, with silver accents.

4. Break the sentences up into segments, and reorder them -eliminate capitalization and punctuation

Microsoft Natural Keyboard

curved and worn
like an old whore


hard
unforgiving


yet soft in some
places


wearing black
as they work
tirelessly


feeling nothing
never complaining


as they serve


all of
mankind




© 2010 M.

And there you have it - Instant Peggy Prose.

[Chris]

  Bravissimo!

[Specbid]

And there you have it - Instant Peggy Prose.

Hahahaha...you da man.