A conversation at the garage ...

[CC27]

ThomWV  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Mon Mar-08-10 10:08 AM
Original message
A conversation at the garage ...
   
Yep, another one of those stories.

Darrell was getting the front hub apart so the ate-up U-joint could be replaced and his old man, who hangs around a lot during the winter when there's nothing much else to do, was sitting over by the fire. School finally started back up today, after nearly two weeks of shut down because of the snow, so Darrell's two kids packed off about the same time his old lady left for work. The kids were back in an hour though, because there were bad water leaks in their classroom and something about the heating system. Oh, Darrell's garage - where he makes his living - is back behind the house; this mechanicin' of his, its very much a "home business".

So, Darrell's working on the truck, his old man and me are sitting around (as is another neighbor who is apparently there just to drink morning beer with good company) watching, and now and then one of the kids comes running in raising hell about this or that.

Darrell says something about the god dam school house caving in and his old man grunts something in reply. All his old man does is grunt, but he does so in an artful way and you always know where he stands. I say its just as well that they are home because they weren't going to learn anything in that shithouse school anyway, and the old man grunts again - but not such a favorable grunt this time. Darrell ignores his old man's grunt and correctly identifies the root problem when he says 'you're probably right, they haven't done anything with that school since you went there (nodding in the direction of his father) and they haven't got any money to pay anyone to come teach either so what do you expect?' Any nobody said nothing for a moment and that should have been it, but them I shot off my mouth.

I said, "Shit, what do you expect? Of course the school is shitty, of course there's no money to pay the teachers. Ain't nobody around here taxing anyone to pay for any of it" By god that got a grunt or two. Darrell's old man "farms" now days. All that means is that he finally paid for his place before the black lung got him and he got out of the mines before the roof fell on his head. Nice enough guy, strong as a bull and a mighty hard worker, thrifty his whole life and never once - and I mean not one single time - has he ever cheated on his taxes or tried to bend the system to his own benefit. You tell this guy he ain't payin' his fare share of taxes and he gets hot.

So the old man's grunts could not go unanswered. And I was getting hot too, so I'll just have to paraphrase the rest as best I can. What I said to him was this. Who in hell do you think I''m talking about? Its not you. Its not you with your 200 acres or Darrell here with this little shop or me down that dam road with my little hilltop. What pays for the schools in this county? You know, I know, we all know (I just said this to make sure everyone in the room actually did know where the money came from) its property taxes. Its that couple of dollars per acre we pay, you and me and Darrell, and everyone else up and down this road that's supposed to pay for the schools. And who own's all the land? It's ain't you. It ain't me. It sure as hell ain't Darrell over there - which brings two quick snorts along with a particularly snappy grunt. Think about it, who owns this county? Who owns all the land? Its the rich ass coal companies and the god dam timber companies, that's who own's this county. As a matter of fact that is a true statement. Indeed, commercial interests do own considerably more acreage in this county than private landowners do, with two companies accounting for most of the land ownership.

So then I said it. "Look, if the school house if a 50-year-old pig sty with the roof is falling in, and if the teachers you can afford to hire are the bottom of the barrel and this whole mess is paid for by property taxes and the rich own all the property, then just who is it that's keeping your kids stupid? Jezzeuschrist, anybody ought to be able to see what's goin' on here."

$125 to replace a front end U-Joint on and old 4-wheel drive truck. Service while you wait and back home before ten in the morning; and I could have had a cold beer too if I had wanted it. I love living out in the country.

 

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7868157

[blitzkrieg_17]

I agree with the green bouncy guy.

[delilahmused]

Sorry, but people in the country have more common sense than to buy this crap. Oh, and Thom, the next time you portray us "country folk" you might do well to remember we're not a stereotype. So go **** yourself with a u-joint...grunt! People don't have money for more taxes you twit. We're taxed to death. And had you been arguing with me, I'd ask you why private schools and homeschools provide superior education for MUCH less. I know plenty of people who sent their kids to private school because they weren't doing well in public school...they were getting in trouble, not doing school work, etc. Those problems disappeared (with work) in private schools. Of course there an under performing teacher can be fired. We've thrown more and more money at this problem year after year. They don't improve...they get worse. That's generally what happens when you have teachers like Pam and spend more time cramming liberal ideology down their throats than reading , writing, arithmetic, and US HISTORY!

Cindie

[Karin]

Well, it's awfully hard to follow Cindie, but did anyone else's eyebrows shoot up when they read this?

then just who is it that's keeping your kids stupid?

[Tucker]

michreject  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Mon Mar-08-10 10:29 AM
Response to Original message
3. I'm confused.
   
Is this a short story or did it actually take place?

Pushing it.

[GOBUCKS]

DUmmy ThomWV, his human-tooth necklace rattling, sees his bouncy starting to crumble, and tries to make a recovery:

ThomWV  (1000+ posts)      Mon Mar-08-10 10:56 AM
Response to Reply #3
10. I have to make a full disclosure here - and let me tell you the trick I used - and confess
 You did not ask the obvious question and you let me get away with a great old story teller's trick.

Here is the obvious question - what happened next? Do you think it ended there with me being the clever victor of the day, or is it possible the argument went further and another view prevailed, I just didn't tell you about it so that my high position might be upheld. Could be.

The trick was this, I gave you the impression that was the end of the story by sticking on that last line. The line only told you that the truck was successfully fixed, not that the argument successfully ended. I transposed one event for another in the time frame I allotted for the story.

And that does indeed answer your other question. Of course it was a short story. That is the style in which I like to write, and I do a lot of it just for practice. That is why I take pretty free license in relaying these stories, and no, there probably aren't three words quoted in it that were actually said exactly that way - its from memory and much stylizied too.

We good now?

In other words, "I made the whole thing up."

[lastparker]

Well, it's awfully hard to follow Cindie, but did anyone else's eyebrows shoot up when they read this?

Oh, mine sure did!  Damn those rich taxpayers.

[delilahmused]

Well, it's awfully hard to follow Cindie, but did anyone else's eyebrows shoot up when they read this?

I know and they NEVER look at the teachers, ever! Nor curriculum. Just a lack of funds. Always. In essence, they put the blame on those who pay their frickin' salaries.

Cindie

[shadeaux]

Darrell, Darrell and Thom ??   

I love how he puts a redneck kinda twang to it.  It made the story less believable yet more readable.  Sometimes those bouncies hurt when you read them.

And I'm pretty sure Thom is a drunk.

My ex DIL used to teach special ed.  The money rolled into her classroom like you would not believe.  She would bring home catalogs and let me pick out stuff because she had to spend the money she got.  They told to just pick anything.

She also taught school for 1 year high, drugged, stoned.  Whatever you want to call it.  Pain pills, tranquilizers, chasing that with meth.  They only fired her because she never showed up to teach.  After her firing, she was given a great performance review and was recommended for her next job.  Director of a learning/child care center.

Thank God she lost that job too.

Sometimes it IS the teacher.

[mamacags]

Yes Thom every kid in WV is stupid because they have old school houses and the coal companies aren't paying your taxes or something like that.  I love the way he portrays the mechanic and the "old man" as some sort of inbred hillbillies.  You elitist left wing asshole.  WV should kick your drunken holier than thou ass out of the state.

[The Village Idiot]

A whole imagined conversation from grunts?

And of course, the schools fail because of who is forced to pay for them. lol.

Idiots.

[dandi]

Yes Thom every kid in WV is stupid because they have old school houses and the coal companies aren't paying your taxes or something like that.  I love the way he portrays the mechanic and the "old man" as some sort of inbred hillbillies.  You elitist left wing asshole.  WV should kick your drunken holier than thou ass out of the state.

Were I still there, I would have.   

Here's the rub:  I own no other piece of non-military "education" other than a West Virginia public high school diploma.  I had very dedicated and stern teachers; some of the best women on this planet.  We didn't have nearly the money poured in to our schools then than they do now and I can pretty much guess that it's the standards and not the money that are driving the schools into the ditch.

Oh, "Thom", I know damn good and well that older "country" gentlemen know bullshit when they step in it.  You're rant about the coal companies and the ephemeral "rich" would have gotten your dumb ass laughed at and probably would have gotten your ass kicked.  West Virginia stereotypes of grunting hillbillies and "black lung" not withstanding.

[GOBUCKS]

Nice enough guy, strong as a bull and a mighty hard worker, thrifty his whole life and never once - and I mean not one single time - has he ever cheated on his taxes

Now, ain't that there one fine feller? A hard worker, a mighty hard worker, and thrifty, too! And he ain't a drunk like Otis! Ain't that right, Barney?
I'll bet the drunken Pitt is kicking himself for not describing Ty the Bouncer like that.

[kenth]

So, thom is saying he's not paying his fair share. The evil coal and timber companies are paying taxes on thousands of undeveloped acres while thom is only contributing tax from his shack. Thom needs to pay more so his neighbors learn how to do more than grunt. Those poor neighbor children, destined to a life of grunting while they do manual labor, all because thom is too cheap to buy a bigger property.

[Chris_]

Those WVa ridge-runners ain't too stupid if they charged the DUmmie $125 for a simple U-joint replacement......around here it's $50, and done in 45 minutes........

doc

[Peter3_1]

Odds are she doesn't know a u-joint from a crankshaft thrust washer.

[crockspot]

Darrell was getting the front hub apart so the ate-up U-joint could be replaced and his old man, who hangs around a lot during the winter when there's nothing much else to do, was sitting over by the fire.

An open fire, in a auto mechanic shop. Riiiiiight.

I realize this is a home business, but gasoline fumes tend to creep along the floor... that is, until they hit an open flame. An auto shop with an open fireplace wouldn't exist very long before going up in flames. Even the most bumpkin country mechanic knows this. But obviously, Thom doesn't.

[Carl]

DUmmy ThomWV, his human-tooth necklace rattling, sees his bouncy starting to crumble, and tries to make a recovery:

In other words, "I made the whole thing up."

An admission of a bouncy?

Given the fact that DUmmies lie all the time what does it mean when one admits to it?  

[The Village Idiot]

An open fire, in a auto mechanic shop. Riiiiiight.

I realize this is a home business, but gasoline fumes tend to creep along the floor... that is, until they hit an open flame. An auto shop with an open fireplace wouldn't exist very long before going up in flames. Even the most bumpkin country mechanic knows this. But obviously, Thom doesn't.

A shade tree mechanic that charges MORE than a legit mechanic?? That can't be good for business.

[mamacags]

It was $50 to replace the part, $75 to listen to Thom's bullshit.

[longview]

On what kind of truck does one have to remove a hub to get to the drive shaft to access the u-joint?  Granted my trucks are old ranch beaters, but...

[Peter3_1]

You don't. That would be the half shaft drive.....it is a universal of sorts, but they cost much more that the driveshaft U.....on the front axel, of course. On the rear,there is only one (not irs...) and you crwal underneath to eremove....

[DumbAss Tanker]

The timber companies aren't making any money off that land under to Oconomy's lack of building, and the coal companies are busy figuring out how to liquidate and close down so they aren't they guy without a chair when the music stops under the EPA's carbon regulation scheme.  What're they gonna pay those property taxes with, Thom?

[longview]

You don't. That would be the half shaft drive.....it is a universal of sorts, but they cost much more that the driveshaft U.....on the front axel, of course. On the rear,there is only one (not irs...) and you crwal underneath to eremove....

Thanks.  You just saved my neighbor ranch/mechanic explaining it.  He owes ya.

[Chris_]

 :bs:X10