Doug's ex-wife has no rotisserie

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x75071

Oh my.

The fund-raiser for Skins's island is just now winding down, and in fact might be over by the time I get done posting this, but it won't hurt to "scarlet letter" the tightwad non-donating primitives.

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)         Sun Feb-14-10 04:30 PM
DOUG'S EX-WIFE
Original message

Rosie wants roast chicken tonight and we have no rotisserie.

What do I need to do to fake a roast?

I want to make her a nice V-Day dinner and already have a rice side and a broccoli side in the line up, along with a green salad, & a devil's food cake for dessert.

The empressof all   (1000+ posts)        Sun Feb-14-10 05:22 PM
NON-DONOR TO SKINS'S ISLAND!
THE IMPERIOUS PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message
 
3. Another way to roast a bird--Beer Can chicken

http://www.ovenbeercanchicken.com /

The link will give you a good idea of how it's done. You can pretty much use any spices or liquid you want in the beer can. I like to drink all the beer and fill the washed can half way with wine with a bit of rosemary for the chicken. Rub the outside of the bird with salt and give it a squirt of EVOO. Yummy and very easy. When you use wine in the can you can even use the drippings for gravy.

cbayer   (1000+ posts)       Sun Feb-14-10 05:45 PM
THE BAYER ASPIRIN PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #3

5. I have done this and even have a metal holder for the can, but I have worried about the aluminum. Does that concern you at all?

The empressof all   (1000+ posts)        Sun Feb-14-10 05:52 PM
NON-DONOR TO SKINS'S ISLAND!
THE IMPERIOUS PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #5

6. You know I don't worry about it

I use to have a ceramic thingie that was suppose to replicate the can but it never really did as good of a job. I bet they sell stainless cookers that do the same thing. You also probably could wrap the can in parchment or brown paper. I don't think any aluminum that may leach off in the cooking would permeate the entire bird only the boney parts inside that I don't eat anyway. But....I like to live dangerously...

Warpy  (1000+ posts)        Sun Feb-14-10 06:13 PM
NON-DONOR TO SKINS'S ISLAND!
THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #5

8. Aluminum in the amyloid plaques in Alzheimer's disease is a symptom, not a cause. The amyloid is the cause. Aluminum is as safe as any other metal, but I tend to do non acid foods in it because I do notice a metallic taste. Same with uncoated cast iron or steel, but I'll do spaghetti sauce in a steel wok to boost my iron intake.

As for roasting a bird, I massage seasoned butter into the skin and wrap it like a mummy in cheesecloth, which tends to keep the butter where it's supposed to be. After the bird is out of the oven and has rested for 10-20 minutes, the cheesecloth comes right off, leaving the crispiest skin you'll ever taste underneath it.

One thing is necessary for roasting in a pan and that's a rack unless you want the bottom of the bird to be boiled chicken and miss a lot of the fond in the pan that makes such great gravy. I've done a cheat with a sheet of foil rolled tight and then formed into a circle under the bird, but it's less than ideal.

grasswire  (1000+ posts)      Sun Feb-14-10 05:43 PM
NON-DONOR TO SKINS'S ISLAND!
THE FARMERETTE IN WISCONSIN
Response to Original message

4. roasting a chicken is not faking a roast, silly!

Here's what I do, and people always love it.

a lemon -- half sliced in very thin slices, the other half to squeeze
some fresh garlic
some herbs (fresh rosemary or lavender if you have any) but dried rosemary, tarragon, basil, whatever will do
butter cut into pats
salt (kosher best)
pepper
a chicken or two

.preheat oven to 425
.wash your chicken and pat dry
.run your fingers under the skin of the chicken breast to loosen the skin
.under that skin, slip butter pats, slivers of garlic, herbs, and thin lemon slices
.put the chicken in your pan
.squeeze the half lemon over top
.sprinkle generously with salt -- a tablespoon minimum
.tuck the squeezed lemon and some herbs into the cavity
.put in hot oven -- it ought to take about 45 min-1 hour

If you have a meat thermometer, you'll have an easy time knowing when it's done. Traditional tests include piercing at the hip joint to see if juices are clear and not red; rotating the drumstick to see if it is loose.

Let the chicken rest about ten minutes before cutting. Y*m y*m.

TreasonousBastard  (1000+ posts)      Sun Feb-14-10 06:01 PM
NON-DONOR TO SKINS'S ISLAND!
AN OBSCURE UNTERPRIMITIVEN FULL OF BEANS
Response to Original message

7. At this very moment, I have a 5 pound chicken...roasting in a toaster oven.

It's one of the larger toaster ovens, to be sure, and it even has a rotisserie built in should I want to stick some meat on a spit. (I have done that with a pork roast or two with excellent results, btw.)

Anyway, roasting a chicken is roasting a chicken, and roasting it in any oven is not faking it. Rotisserie chicken is something else, but can be faked by roasting.

I expect my chicken will be properly roasted in about another hour, and I shall feast on it, and then have chicken soup, chicken salad, chicken ala king... for the rest of the week.

[debk]

Cooking tomato sauce in a wok to get iron in your diet?

How in the hell do they think of this stuff?

[The Village Idiot]

Cooking tomato sauce in a wok to get iron in your diet?

How in the hell do they think of this stuff?

is there iron in tomato sauce?

[The Village Idiot]

I can buy a hot roast chicken at the grocery store. Some have a garlic rub and some lemon pepper.

[thundley4]

I can buy a hot roast chicken at the grocery store. Some have a garlic rub and some lemon pepper.

Those are so tender the meat falls off the bone most of the time.  I like the barbecued type.

[kenth]

You know what, my first inclination is to ask if that is not why we have ovens. But this is DU, and the rotisserie is basically a chicken oven, where the regular oven might be for other roasted foods. Heck, they may have beef rotisseries as well as chicken.  

But the big question I have is, what does V-Day mean in DUmmie speak? For decent people around the world, it's St. Valentine's Day. But to DU, V-Day could mean all sorts of sordid things.

[The Village Idiot]

You know what, my first inclination is to ask if that is not why we have ovens. But this is DU, and the rotisserie is basically a chicken oven, where the regular oven might be for other roasted foods. Heck, they may have beef rotisseries as well as chicken.  

But the big question I have is, what does V-Day mean in DUmmie speak? For decent people around the world, it's St. Valentine's Day. But to DU, V-Day could mean all sorts of sordid things.

Veneral Day?

[Celtic Rose]

You know what, my first inclination is to ask if that is not why we have ovens. But this is DU, and the rotisserie is basically a chicken oven, where the regular oven might be for other roasted foods. Heck, they may have beef rotisseries as well as chicken.  

But the big question I have is, what does V-Day mean in DUmmie speak? For decent people around the world, it's St. Valentine's Day. But to DU, V-Day could mean all sorts of sordid things.

If it gives you a hint, many colleges host "The Vagina Dialogues" on St. Valentine's Day. 

[The Village Idiot]

If it gives you a hint, many colleges host "The Vagina Dialogues" on St. Valentine's Day. 

blech

[GOBUCKS]

Her oven is explosive propane, but may not be big enough for a big old roasting hen. Now I assume she has 110V service in the camper. If so, she needs:

The Ronco Showtime Rotisserie, from Ron Popeil!! You just set it and forget it!

[franksolich]

Her oven is explosive propane, but may not be big enough for a big old roasting hen. Now I assume she has 110V service in the camper. If so, she needs:

The Ronco Showtime Rotisserie, from Ron Popeil!! You just set it and forget it!

Actually, I suspect Doug's ex-wife does in fact have a rotesserie.

Problem however.

It's a rotisserie for a goose or a ham, probably.

And the way the primitives think, one can't possibly roast a chicken on a rotisserie for a goose or ham.

It has to be a rotisserie purchased especially for, and only for, chicken.

[GOBUCKS]

Actually, I suspect Doug's ex-wife does in fact have a rotesserie.

Problem however.

It's a rotisserie for a goose or a ham, probably.

And the way the primitives think, one can't possibly roast a chicken on a rotisserie for a goose or ham.

It has to be a rotisserie purchased especially for, and only for, chicken.

Well, as you can see, this one is for chicken, but for two chickens. If she only has a single chicken, it would probably not work.
Also,  it's sort of large, so for storage she'd probably need to cover it with a tarp beneath the camper.

[PatriotGame]

Her oven is explosive propane, but may not be big enough for a big old roasting hen. Now I assume she has 110V service in the camper. If so, she needs:

The Ronco Showtime Rotisserie, from Ron Popeil!! You just set it and forget it!

Meh

[miskie]

Whatever happened to getting a large pan and a wire rack ? -- Such as this picture I found



The bird cooks quickly, and drains into the pan below keeping oven mess to a minimum - all that's left is to periodically baste the bird from the drippings.

[JohnnyReb]

You have to do it all for DUmmies...set your spare tire on fire, stuff a green stick up the birds butt, rotate over fire until all the feathers are burned off...carve and serve.

[thundley4]

Whatever happened to getting a large pan and a wire rack ? -- Such as this picture I found



The bird cooks quickly, and drains into the pan below keeping oven mess to a minimum - all that's left is to periodically baste the bird from the drippings.

I've used Reynold's Oven Roasting bags, and no basting is needed. They even work for pot roasts and other things.  They leave even less mess to clean up.

[debk]

I've used Reynold's Oven Roasting bags, and no basting is needed. They even work for pot roasts and other things.  They leave even less mess to clean up.

Those roasting bags work really well on spiral sliced hams too. They help hold the ham together, and hold all the basting stuff I pour over it up close to the ham for it to absorb. Also keeps the ham from drying out.

[thundley4]

Those roasting bags work really well on spiral sliced hams too. They help hold the ham together, and hold all the basting stuff I pour over it up close to the ham for it to absorb. Also keeps the ham from drying out.

We've used them for Thanksgiving turkey, but they create a slight problem.  The turkey is so tender, that it just falls apart when you try and carve it.

[diesel driver]

We've used them for Thanksgiving turkey, but they create a slight problem.  The turkey is so tender, that it just falls apart when you try and carve it.

I like those kinds of turkeys.  You don't carve them with a knife, you carve it with your bare hands....

[BlueStateSaint]

You have to do it all for DUmmies...set your spare tire on fire, stuff a green stick up the birds butt, rotate over fire until all the feathers are burned off...carve and serve.

How do you know that they won't like having the bolded done to them, anyway?

[AllosaursRus]

You have to do it all for DUmmies...set your spare tire on fire, stuff a green stick up the birds butt, rotate over fire until all the feathers are burned off...carve and serve.

There went my coffee! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!11111