« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: My Honest Bouncy  (Read 4018 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline LadyLiberty

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1292
  • Reputation: +121/-64
My Honest Bouncy
« on: March 11, 2008, 03:55:06 PM »
So, I was at the mall....

Upon trying to get into the mall, there was the most dismal, butt ugly, grey van I have ever seen. Blocking the entrance whereby one can get her stroller up onto the sidewalk easily.

The woman sitting in the van had scraggly, unruly hair and was most unattractive. She was wearing THE ugliest cable knit sweater that sagged on her shoulders and looked, well just as dismal as her car did. She smiled at me as innocently as a child would, completely clueless of where she was sitting in her parked vehicle, munching on cereal right out of the box (a big box, not one of those individual sized boxes).

I gave her a pretty nasty look, as I made my way around to the back of her van to see if I could get the stroller up on that side. Nope, she had perfectly parked her ugly vehicle in such a way as to perfectly consume the entire entrance of the sidewalk.

Since she was so rude as to do that, I decided to be JUST as rude and jaunt on back to tell her to move OUT of the way, as she shouldn't be obstructing the entrance. On my way back to do this, what do I see in the back of her entire window?? A sign (not a bumper sticker, a fricken' BIG sign, to consume a van's window) that said, "HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT". Boy, THAT sure explained the way she looked and the nasty exhaust fumes coming out of her vehicle...must have been LONG overdue for an oil change and for routine service.

Upon my discovery of her being a  :loser: Liberal, it was no holds barred for me.

I mouthed at her with an angry look on my face, "MOVE YOUR F*EN VAN OUT OF THE WAY!" She looked wounded, just like a child, and she said with an almost tearful, yet very confused and perplexed look as she tossed her hands up in the air, "I'm sorry"  She said this like it just wasn't even her fault that she was sitting there blocking the entrance like that, as if her van just pulled itself there and she was a victim of the van blocking my way.

Frickin' liberals...eating cereal right out of the box like that, blocking women women with strollers...and what about those handicapped people in wheelchairs???????

True story.

If they are rude, so am I.
Logged
"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me to try to change it."

Barack Obama

Offline Flame

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4361
  • Reputation: +166/-34
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2008, 03:59:02 PM »
You get credit for starting it with "So", but there was no ranting about it being Bush's fault her van was parked there.  The mall is a new venue (tired of the gas stations!), and the hippie description was great.  Could have used some foaming at the mouth, though.

All in all, I'd say it rates about a 6.5. 
Logged

Offline Taxman

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Reputation: +93/-67
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2008, 04:02:38 PM »
Not a good bouncy...you didn't blame Hillary for blocking you in...no conversion to McCain...no mention of DU....sorry...about a 4 bonger.   :-)  No green bouncies either. 
« Last Edit: March 11, 2008, 04:08:18 PM by Taxman »
Logged

Offline Crazy Horse

  • Army 0 Navy 34
  • Topic Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5601
  • Reputation: +265/-143
  • Sex, Booze and Bacon Minion
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2008, 04:03:45 PM »
2 Bonger for starting with "So............"

No cops...........no mention of bushes or shubs

It's like nobody is trying these days
Logged
Disclaimer
Any views, remarks or statements of other military services or it’s members is covered under the Inter-Service Rivalry Act of 1974

Offline CactusCarlos

  • Pray, eat your vitamins, and one day you too could be a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4113
  • Reputation: +296/-100
  • If I agree with you, then we'll both be wrong.
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2008, 04:14:10 PM »
No epiphany, no one realizing the error in their ways, no conversion.  Sorry sis, half a bong at best.

 :tongue:
Logged
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
  -- Norman Thomas, six-time Socialist Party presidential candidate and one of the founders of the ACLU

Offline bijou

  • Topic Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8937
  • Reputation: +336/-26
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2008, 04:14:43 PM »
Extra points for it being true, having a hippy Hillary supporter and general moonbat idiocy.  7 bongs for a first try.  Next time don't forget the conversion,  the cheering audience and either a cop/bush combo or a full scale conversion (not including Ron Paul).   :-)
Logged


Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2008, 04:18:07 PM »
1 bong for being true
1 bong for the cereal box
1/2 bong for the sweater
1 bong for "move your F'ing Van"
no conversion, no thumbs up (covert or overt), no "she was unable to respond"
1/2 bong for being your first time (kind of a learning credit)

4 bongs.
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline LadyLiberty

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1292
  • Reputation: +121/-64
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2008, 04:29:07 PM »
You folks are WAY too generous, because you are giving me points for a non-bouncy, because the whole thing is the whole truth  :rotf:

I should have entitled the thread, "The Stoopid Obstructing Hippie"  :thatsright: OR, "My Unabashed Bigotry Towards a Stoopid Liberal"  Well, the latter isn't exactly the truth, because I would have responded to anyone as rude and inconsiderate as she was, confessed liberal or  not.

Oh, well...then what REALLY happened....

I went off on her telling her that her exhaust is polluting the environment, that just because her vehicle very well might have passed the Ga. smog test doesn't mean that her vehicle isn't pouring toxic pollutants into the environment that might kill the plants (and nevermind that it just smells for bad for humans, the plants are FAR more important and not because plants provide oxygen for humans, but because, gee, well, they ARE plants!).

Yeahhhh, that's what I told her, and she said that she would be taking  her vehicle in for a service job ASAP.

*Disclaimer: I just don't convert people, because if she is a liberal.  That is an animal that is just  a lost cause  :shucks:
Logged
"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me to try to change it."

Barack Obama

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2008, 04:30:26 PM »
Quote from: LadyLiberty on March 11, 2008, 04:29:07 PM
You folks are WAY too generous, because you are giving me points for a non-bouncy, because the whole thing is the whole truth  :rotf:

I should have entitled the thread, "The Stoopid Obstructing Hippie"  :thatsright: OR, "My Unabashed Bigotry Towards a Stoopid Liberal"  Well, the latter isn't exactly the truth, because I would have responded to anyone as rude and inconsiderate as she was, confessed liberal or  not.

Oh, well...then what REALLY happened....

I went off on her telling her that her exhaust is polluting the environment, that just because her vehicle very well might have passed the Ga. smog test doesn't mean that her vehicle isn't pouring toxic pollutants into the environment that might kill the plants (and nevermind that it just smells for bad for humans, the plants are FAR more important and not because plants provide oxygen for humans, but because, gee, well, they ARE plants!).

Yeahhhh, that's what I told her, and she said that she would be taking  her vehicle in for a service job ASAP.

*Disclaimer: I just don't convert people, because if she is a liberal.  That is an animal that is just  a lost cause  :shucks:

OK, 2 more bongs ;)
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline CactusCarlos

  • Pray, eat your vitamins, and one day you too could be a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4113
  • Reputation: +296/-100
  • If I agree with you, then we'll both be wrong.
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #9 on: March 11, 2008, 04:31:29 PM »
Quote from: LadyLiberty on March 11, 2008, 04:29:07 PM
I went off on her telling her that her exhaust is polluting the environment, that just because her vehicle very well might have passed the Ga. smog test doesn't mean that her vehicle isn't pouring toxic pollutants into the environment that might kill the plants (and nevermind that it just smells for bad for humans, the plants are FAR more important and not because plants provide oxygen for humans, but because, gee, well, they ARE plants!).

Much better!  :-)
Logged
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
  -- Norman Thomas, six-time Socialist Party presidential candidate and one of the founders of the ACLU

Offline LadyLiberty

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1292
  • Reputation: +121/-64
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #10 on: March 11, 2008, 04:31:43 PM »
Quote from: freedumb2003 on March 11, 2008, 04:18:07 PM
1 bong for being true
1 bong for the cereal box
1/2 bong for the sweater
1 bong for "move your F'ing Van"
no conversion, no thumbs up (covert or overt), no "she was unable to respond"
1/2 bong for being your first time (kind of a learning credit)

4 bongs.


You gave me NO credit for the description of her  hair or for the description of her van...or for the condition of her van (it was emitting that foul odor that is indicative that she doesn't have it serviced routinely!) Come on now!
Logged
"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me to try to change it."

Barack Obama

Offline LadyLiberty

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1292
  • Reputation: +121/-64
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2008, 04:32:46 PM »
Quote from: CactusCarlos on March 11, 2008, 04:31:29 PM
Quote from: LadyLiberty on March 11, 2008, 04:29:07 PM
I went off on her telling her that her exhaust is polluting the environment, that just because her vehicle very well might have passed the Ga. smog test doesn't mean that her vehicle isn't pouring toxic pollutants into the environment that might kill the plants (and nevermind that it just smells for bad for humans, the plants are FAR more important and not because plants provide oxygen for humans, but because, gee, well, they ARE plants!).

Much better!  :-)

 :rotf: :rotf: I am kind of proud of myself, I admit.
Logged
"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me to try to change it."

Barack Obama

Offline LadyLiberty

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1292
  • Reputation: +121/-64
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2008, 04:33:26 PM »
Quote from: freedumb2003 on March 11, 2008, 04:30:26 PM
Quote from: LadyLiberty on March 11, 2008, 04:29:07 PM
You folks are WAY too generous, because you are giving me points for a non-bouncy, because the whole thing is the whole truth  :rotf:

I should have entitled the thread, "The Stoopid Obstructing Hippie"  :thatsright: OR, "My Unabashed Bigotry Towards a Stoopid Liberal"  Well, the latter isn't exactly the truth, because I would have responded to anyone as rude and inconsiderate as she was, confessed liberal or  not.

Oh, well...then what REALLY happened....

I went off on her telling her that her exhaust is polluting the environment, that just because her vehicle very well might have passed the Ga. smog test doesn't mean that her vehicle isn't pouring toxic pollutants into the environment that might kill the plants (and nevermind that it just smells for bad for humans, the plants are FAR more important and not because plants provide oxygen for humans, but because, gee, well, they ARE plants!).

Yeahhhh, that's what I told her, and she said that she would be taking  her vehicle in for a service job ASAP.

*Disclaimer: I just don't convert people, because if she is a liberal.  That is an animal that is just  a lost cause  :shucks:

OK, 2 more bongs ;)


That's better, thanks LOL
Logged
"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me to try to change it."

Barack Obama

Offline BEG

  • "Mile Marker"
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17277
  • Reputation: +1062/-301
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2008, 05:18:36 PM »
LUCKY.  Here I was all excited to come tell you guys I saw a car with a Hillary bumper sticker on the drivers side of the back window and a McCain bumper sticker on the passengers side.  I don't have any of these bouncy stories happen to me... :bawl:
Logged

Offline Freeper

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17779
  • Reputation: +1311/-314
  • Creepy ass cracker.
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2008, 12:41:26 AM »
Here is my bouncy.

So a few weeks ago I was at work we were retagging some items (price has been increased due to the * economy and the greed of the company I work for) and the lead was talking to one of the other guys when Iraq came up. The lead is a lesbian and a major moonbat so she tells the guy "Dude we are the terrorists". So can ya'll guess what I did?

That's right I didn't say a word I just thought to myself "What's her DU name?" and continued with my work.
Logged
I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline CactusCarlos

  • Pray, eat your vitamins, and one day you too could be a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4113
  • Reputation: +296/-100
  • If I agree with you, then we'll both be wrong.
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2008, 03:35:05 PM »
Quote from: Freeper on March 12, 2008, 12:41:26 AM
Here is my bouncy.

So a few weeks ago I was at work we were retagging some items (price has been increased due to the * economy and the greed of the company I work for) and the lead was talking to one of the other guys when Iraq came up. The lead is a lesbian and a major moonbat so she tells the guy "Dude we are the terrorists". So can ya'll guess what I did?

That's right I didn't say a word I just thought to myself "What's her DU name?" and continued with my work.


Is there a scale for negative bongs?

 :tongue:
Logged
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
  -- Norman Thomas, six-time Socialist Party presidential candidate and one of the founders of the ACLU

Offline Lord Undies

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11388
  • Reputation: +639/-250
Re: My Honest Bouncy
« Reply #16 on: March 12, 2008, 03:45:50 PM »
I feel sorry for the poor woman.  That was probably an Official Hillary Campaign Van.  The ugly lady was probably just following orders.
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »