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Kurovski(1000+ posts)Fri Feb-12-10 03:37 PMOriginal messageValentines Tragedy: “You Broke my Heart Liberal Media, you Two-Timing Dickless Bastard." GO! We are FINISHED. Do you understand me Mr. Monkey Turd? You can hop away with your precious honey-bunny, that puddin’ cheeked fantastical gasbag Glenn Beck…if that’s what you want. You never paid this much attention to Mike Malloy, and yet you called him “extreme†too. That confused McCain rally lady with the shock-treatment hair who called Obama an “Arab†got more TEEVEE time than Malloy ever did. So I hope you’re happy living with Glenn forever and ever in his dark bunny hole filled with his big fat magic blackboard and a lifetime supply of chalky delusions. What the flippity-floppity eff do I care?Your evolving career as promiscuous poop-peddler and part-time fart humidor has driven me to seek solace in the arms of clowns like Colbert and Stewart. Sure, Stephen and Jon are pulsating, virile pile drivers of hot delicious fun, but you and me LM, we were gonna be married just as soon as it was legal in our state. Remember? We were a serious item, you ****er.It’s clear now that you don’t love me, you don’t love my friends or anyone even remotely like me. Maybe it’s because I’m finally insane from the years of empty promises, the half-truths and omissions, all the hours spent hanging on to your every word and waiting for you to come home. Or maybe it’s because you’re a total asshole. I can’t tell anymore.I think it was somewhere around the time of Ronald Reagan that you began to slip away from me. ( you always were an insecure little star-humper ) but I forgave you over and over again throughout the decades.You know, you could have had a fling with Randi Rhodes and I would have understood that. But instead you stroked creepy old dudes like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, stinkers well-past history’s expiration date. You acted as if they had something to say that was worth listening to outside of a psych ward. So I GET IT. I’m not CRAZY enough for you, ya freak.How about if I start babbling on about how Cheney and Bush helped make billions for crap-sacks all over the world through war and negligence and crisis. Will that be crazy enough for ya? Well…will it sailor boy!!? Can we broadcast that?? WILL YOU LOVE ME THEN??!!! Maybe instead of a blackboard, I’ll tattoo my lunatic ravings onto your flabby abdomen while you sleep, how’s that sound?! WHAT D’YA THINK OF THAT???…Oh LibMed…I promised myself I wouldn’t let you see me cry, and now look. GOD, but I hate you.And I really don’t care what my third therapist for this decade says about the irresponsibility of “assigning blameâ€, YOU, you are the reason I shovel and swill down donuts and Black Russians like a goddam camel at an oasis, you tiddly-wink testicled scheisse meister.I never before ate an entire twenty-inch pizza in one sitting until the day I caught you feeling-up that gold-digging, canine-murdering, serial liar Sarah Palin. And then you said—OUT LOUD- that you thought she could possibly be the one. Oh really? What kind of entity takes that kind of gal seriously? You do, you crap-packing, bacteria-diving little Petri dish of a filth factory.Well good luck, it’s gonna take a whole lot of ballot stuffing to make that cookie-brained, aging high school cheerleader your queen of the prom. But I’m sure you’ll find a way. You’re so brazen now you might just say that someone so gosh-darn pretty should be crowned queen without even voting.And now she’s in the belly of the beast drawing a check from Fox News, the most liberal outlet there is when it comes to letting horseshit slide front and center.I really feel like messing you up with a nine-iron right now, champ. But I can’t see your big stupid head through this storm of tears. Maybe that’s why Mrs. Tiger Woods missed her mark.I spread open a newspaper or engage the remote only to feel the sting of a thousand tiny little pricks. Failure is success and success is failure. Fifty-nine is minority to the majority forty-one. White is black, and black is, well, Alabama 1953.At least it is to your good friends in the tea-bagging trade.I’m left to wonder where we would be today if you had covered the anti-war movement night and day for months on end the way you do Fox News’ and Dick Armey’s scattering of tea-baggin’ hobbyists.Could we have perhaps renewed the love we once shared?I know what you’re thinking: “it’s never enough for you, is it Kurovski?â€Well what is it that YOU want, Liberal Media? If you wanted nuts bouncing up and down in your face you had your chance. I can do crazy, and I also happen to know how to spell. I even own a dictionary. Are you that afraid of the “elitist†moniker?They don’t love you, you know. Those hopelessly backwards Polititwits think you’re a dirty Commie Nazi Socialist Maoist Francophile Old Europe Satanist Stalinist Leninist, even when you go out of your way to undermine me with questions like “Is Kurovski spending too much on vitamins and Chinese take-out, and not enough on ammo for his Glock?†“Is Kurovski losing control? Stay tuned!†“Why hasn’t he cured cancer?†“Argle-bargle, blah, blah, blah…â€Instead of vague fears from the rabid tea-baggage and other familiarly reprehensible right wingers that President Obama is resurrecting a new Nazi regime, you could have had historians outline actual parallels to fascism during the Cheney-Bush years. Maybe that 2003 CBS mini-series on Hitler’s regime scared you off. Adolph knocked around the media but good, didn’t he? So much for Godwins law.The beginning of the end was when your digs got bigger than necessary; you redecorated every ten months with expensive graphics and custom furniture, elaborate electronics were in every corner. At first I thought it was nice that you were dressing better and getting terrific haircuts every three days. Then I saw who was paying for it.These days, there’s that lady who regularly promises “well-paying jobs†from oil and gas.Really? What jobs? Respiratory Therapists?What do you see in her? I mean besides the millions in revenue?You’ve taken money from bullshit artists who are even better than you at tripping-the light craptastic. “Clean†coal, Insurance and drug companies, chemical food companies, conglomerates posing as family farmers, banks, loan and credit companies and investment firms. Even Saudi Arabia, for ****s sake.Perhaps you could do the job you set out to do long ago, get actual answers to the questions you ask. Don’t let a lie pass unchallenged. When you’re entertaining a guest who wants to sing the dreamy praises of a Ronald Reagan from twenty-two years ago, remind them that we have a dirge to drag through courtesy of George W. Bush, circa thirteen months ago, And that we’ll be bearing the strains of that for a decade. It could use repeating.Repetition creates perception. (but you and Mitch McConnell already know that.)When you report on the anger of the electorate towards Government, it might be helpful to point out that we are the Government, and that we have representatives who may be representing pre-purchased interests that are more corporate in nature than that of the common citizen.If you’re not too lazy, you might want to get down to work like that Rachel Maddow. Or that, who is it? Karl? Kevin? Kiether Suthermann, is it?Maybe when you crow or fret about right wing nudie models winning elections because Obama isn’t accomplishing much, you might point out that voters have just signed up for more obstructionist behavior from the Republicans via an historic, unprecedented abuse of the filibuster.And would it hurt to tell Dems to get going before it’s too late? It’s more than a spectator sport, you know. Not all of us draw six figure salaries, and we could use a little help from our Government.Oh, but how I can hear your perfectly modulated tones now: “DON’T tell ME what to do!†Typical, since you deigned every argument a“nagfest†or a “competition.â€Do I sound bitter? Do I? No, not at all. You go and have a happy Valentines Day, LibMed. See? We’re cool. Have a very happy Valentines with all those honey-baked shit twizzlers you’re bagging these days. I know you’ll be very happy with the various diseases you’ll be sharing with one another. Enjoy. Happy, happy.If you decide to change your mind, you can reach me on the internet. Jerk.
Maybe it’s because I’m finally insane
That's a whole lot of crazy. Did anyone read it all?
You know, you could have had a fling with Randi Rhodes and I would have understood that. But instead you stroked creepy old dudes like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, stinkers well-past history’s expiration date.
