DUmmy CalPig Passes Another Poem

[GOBUCKS]

The CalPig DUmmy relieves herself of another "poem", proving once again that her diet is rich in fiber:

CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jan-27-10 02:17 AM
Original message
Newest Poem: Intensive Care
Paramedic red
battering at the night

someone’s bleeding
heart attacking
or stroking
out

Red lights blink blink blink blink
shiny truck gleaming

run to the bedside
asystole on the monitor
quick with the crash cart
start CPR
where’s respiratory

I need help in here

oh god don’t let her die

don’t let me **** up
no time to think

where’s the back board
flatten the bed
open the airway
oh thank god there’s respiratory
at last
and the ER doc

OK
saved the life
time to mop up
get the chart
document document document

paramedic red
took me
back
tonight

© 2010 MLC

Note that this is a copyrighted work. Don't even think of claiming it. You may recite it at home for the enjoyment of family and friends, but do not charge admission, or you could be in violation.



And yet another effort by the CalPig earns her customary review from the putative DUmmy Tangerine LaBamba, whose assessment, even from beyond the grave, is accurate:

Don't get me wrong - her poetry isn't bad.  It's awful.  It's the kind of thing that would blind God if He had to read it.  It's a collection of words that should be machine-gunned down, one by one, preferably out in the desert, with no witnesses, and a nice young girl who could be counted on to claim that she'd been shooting jackrabbits.  It's so bad, mirrors crack if anyone looking into a mirror while thinking of one of CP's poems runs the risk of permanent scarring, even blindness, while thinking of it as he peers into the mirror.

Her poetry needs immolation.  She needs to have all writing impletments and keyboards, paper, blank walls, toilet paper, paper towels, margins in newspapers, and even the blank part of framed works of art removed from her home until this idea that she's writing "poetry" passes.  Maybe medication will help.

[Chris]

Red lights blink blink blink blink
shiny truck gleaming

[kenth]

Yeah, that got a 

[Flame]

run to the bedside
asystole on the monitor
quick with the crash cart
start CPR
where’s respiratory

this was my "favorite" stanza 

[BlueStateSaint]

Every time that TLB's assessment of CalPig's "writing" skills is trotted out, I can't help but laugh.

TLB was dead-on.

[Celtic Rose]

I would really like to know who started the idea that poetry doesn't have to rhyme, or at least have some sort of meter. 

[JohnnyReb]

I would really like to know who started the idea that poetry doesn't have to rhyme, or at least have some sort of meter. 

Me too....who knows ....hell, I might have passed English 12 with those standards..

[kenth]

This one is orders "above" the previous ones I've seen. It really needs to be submitted to a contest of some sort.

Red lights blink blink blink blink
shiny truck gleaming

That reads like she tapped directly into Pam's thoughts, as Pam wandered into the ER, lost from her latest round of chemo. Pam had chemo you know.

[JohnnyReb]

This one is orders "above" the previous ones I've seen. It really needs to be submitted to a contest of some sort.

That reads like she tapped directly into Pam's thoughts, as Pam wandered into the ER, lost from her latest round of chemo. Pam had chemo you know.

I didn't know that................................ ... just couldn't hold it any longer.

[GOBUCKS]

I would really like to know who started the idea that poetry doesn't have to rhyme, or at least have some sort of meter. 

Probably some arrogant elitist,
Somewhere in the dim mists
Of the past,
Who, after laboring long hours,
Could not pull a rhyme
From his ass.

[Celtic Rose]

Probably some arrogant elitist,
Somewhere in the dim mists
Of the past,
Who, after laboring long hours,
Could not pull a rhyme
From his ass.

See, right there, you almost have meter and some internal rhyme between past and ass.  If you change the 4th line to "Who, even when laboring long hours" and the 2nd line to "Deep in the dim mists" then you have a 10-5-3, 10-5-3 meter. 

Excellent poetry 

[BlueStateSaint]

Probably some arrogant elitist,
Somewhere in the dim mists
Of the past,
Who, after laboring long hours,
Could not pull a rhyme
From his ass.

You don't know how close I was to coating the monitor with salsa when I read that!  Thank God for Tostitos Dipping Strips!

[The Village Idiot]

I would really like to know who started the idea that poetry doesn't have to rhyme, or at least have some sort of meter. 

but it has a heartbeat meter.... lol

[Carl]

C-Peg just a question...

[Chris]

I would really like to know who started the idea that poetry doesn't have to rhyme, or at least have some sort of meter. 

Probably the same bunch of nitwits that think Jackson Pollock is "art".

[skipuno]

I would really like to know who started the idea that poetry doesn't have to rhyme, or at least have some sort of meter. 

Its does, its idiotic pentameter.

[Karin]

This thread was a laff riot! 

Blink blink blink blink
Went Nancy Pelosi. 

Excellent find, as laughter is so good for your soul. 

[DumbAss Tanker]

Its does, its idiotic pentameter.

 

I couldn't help thinking, "How could she make it even more stupid?" and all I could come up with was, well, at least she didn't use a text device like:

"Red lights ^blink _blink ^blink _blink
shiny truck gleaming" 

 

[Karin]

I make a motion that this somehow goes to the archives, possibly under posts that stand alone.  Posts that stand alone could be a potential awards category.  This one has turned into an instant inside joke. 

[BlueStateSaint]

I couldn't help thinking, "How could she make it even more stupid?" and all I could come up with was, well, at least she didn't use a text device like:

"Red lights ^blink _blink ^blink _blink
shiny truck gleaming" 

 

DAT, I think that Karin's suggestion would be great for your post.  It's a great use of the tools that we here have available for us to use.  And, it makes it pretty funny.

(No "tongue," either.)

[Splashdown]

I would really like to know who started the idea that poetry doesn't have to rhyme, or at least have some sort of meter. 

At least since Walt Whitman. He was the first great American free verse guy.

[delilahmused]

Must...go...read...Blake!

Cindie

[Celtic Rose]

Must...go...read...Blake!

Cindie

Just for you, my favorite poem by Blake

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare sieze the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art.
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?