gigantic primitive gets his body bug toy (update 01-25)

[franksolich]

http://drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=11960&sid=d07e1693d2ca18164a184c7cf5bcdf6d&start=615

Oh my.

The new computer toy has come.

Ege Bamyasi
January 25, 2020

.....you better believe I was in some serious pain and discomfort for a number of days! What I showed in that picture was actually only a fraction as bad as what I had to keep covered. I'm much better now, but still not fully better, in spite of cleaning myself up thoroughly two or three times a day and using combinations of the right kind of anti-itch ointment, Eucerin and zinc oxide. I hope those new compressive workout shorts I've ordered will do the trick.

There's going to be a lot of suffering between now and when I finally get my thighs shrunk enough, I think, but I'll still keep doing everything I possibly can! As for that BodyGlide product, I've had Jeanette check our local Target, Walgreens and CVS for it but they don't appear to sell it. I will either have to order it online or find a retailer a bit further away that carries it. Barring yet another allergic reaction out of nowhere, it does sound promising.

.....thank you for the heads up about those pedal extenders. Those might be helpful, and from what I can see they're not that terribly expensive from eBay or Amazon.

Well, as of last Wednesday night, I have my BodyBugg and have been using it faithfully. I need to hook up with my coaching session sometime soon, and talk about a few things with a coach, but what I really love about this is that I now have a way to visualize just how many more calories I burn when I'm up and moving around than I do just sitting or sleeping.

The food log is excellent -- almost as good as the one on SparkPeople -- and it allows you to enter an entire recipe ingredient by ingredient, then stipulate how many servings are in the recipe so that you can just select a portion size when you eat. It appears to be helping me, so far.

After finally making it out of the 430s for one day, and being so thrilled about it, this whole allergic rash thing and near total lack of activity caused me to rebound right back up through the 430s.

I'm drifting back down again at what seems like a slow but constant pace, though, so hopefully once I have my exercise pants I can really get moving like I want to. Getting into a pattern of momentum with exercise -- as I've already done twice now -- only to have to stop due to painful problems, is really not fun and not what I'm about.

I've been in lurk mode nearly every day, checking up on the rest of you. I apologize for not commenting in more of your journals (and that goes double with all the time I spend shooting fish in a barrel over in the Global Warming forum!), but I'm still with all of you in spirit. I've been over on the BodyBugg website a lot lately, reading their forums and familiarizing myself with the software, but I'm to the point now where everything is easy.

I'll try and spend more time here and chat with you guys and gals, I promise!

The gigantic primitive's chart shows he's still at 432 pounds, with a BMI (bowel movement index) of 54.  The goal's apparently 200 and 25, respectively.

[USA4ME]

Ege Bamyasi
... (and that goes double with all the time I spend shooting fish in a barrel over in the Global Warming forum!)...

Given the amount of BTU's he puts out, maybe it's time he does the planet a favor and reduces the warming.

.

[GOBUCKS]

once I have my exercise pants I can really get moving like I want to

This worthless tub of lard doesn't need exercise pants. He just needs to put on a pair of Junior Samples overalls, and get moving to find a job. We've all seen grotesquely, lethally fat people employed many, many times in all kinds of jobs. The problem Kirk the Lardass has isn't weight, it's terminal laziness and unwillingness to assume the responsibilities of a normal person. He'll keep living off the labor of other people and playing his stupid computer games until one day soon when his heart explodes. Hopefully, that won't be long from now. If there's ever been a person that fits AlienGirl's criteria for being put down, it's the Las Vegas Lardass.

[franksolich]

Given the amount of BTU's he puts out, maybe it's time he does the planet a favor and reduce the warming.

You know, sir, I used to have high hopes for the gigantic primitive.

Last summer, I was sure he was going to be down to 400 by January 1, and gainfully employed shortly thereafter; in fact, I was willing to bet the farm on it.

But over time, my optimism evaporated; it got wearying, always reading about how other people were responsible for his bloat, watching him do the same failed thing over and over again expecting a different result, and his infantile obsession with computer toys.

And thus my rather brutal suggestion that Jeanette lock him up in a cage, and give him a bowl of cold gruel every day and an apple every third Sunday; desperate situations oftentimes call for desperate solutions.

Now I'm wondering if even that would be enough.

I have a sinking sensation now that the gigantic primitive's going to fail--mostly because of his arrogance and utter lack of self-responsibility.  And so we the productive people of America are doomed to support him all the rest of his life.

[The Village Idiot]

Given the amount of BTU's he puts out, maybe it's time he does the planet a favor and reduce the warming.

I saw those pics someone posted links to. He isn't THAT big, he can fit through a door. He can get a job.

[Tucker]

From the title, I thought you were referring to Pudgy Pab's. 

[franksolich]

This worthless tub of lard doesn't need exercise pants. He just needs to put on a pair of Junior Samples overalls, and get moving to find a job. We've all seen grotesquely, lethally fat people employed many, many times in all kinds of jobs.

The problem Kirk the Lardass has isn't weight, it's terminal laziness and unwillingness to assume the responsibilities of a normal person. He'll keep living off the labor of other people and playing his stupid computer games until one day soon when his heart explodes.

Hopefully, that won't be long from now. If there's ever been a person that fits AlienGirl's criteria for being put down, it's the Las Vegas Lardass.

Today I encountered a truck driver from the hills of Tennessee.

He obviously weighed over 500 pounds, and obviously had some, uh, problems.

Once he figured I was a harmless person, I asked him a really intimate question.

Why was he working, and not sitting on the couch at home collecting welfare?

He said he had been unemployed before, and found sitting around "playing on the computer all day long" was "boring."

[GOBUCKS]

The behemoth will likely say he can't have a job due to a lack of shoes. By his description, his feet are the approximate length and width of the toilet seat lid on an elongated bowl. So he could strap on a pair of toilet seat lids. If that's too embarrassing, he could attach a pair of bearpaw style snowshoes, which are almost exactly the shape he describes for his feet. The fact no one makes human shoes that fit on his leg paddles is an excuse, not a reason, for his current worthless existence.

[Chris]

Today I encountered a truck driver from the hills of Tennessee.

He obviously weighed over 500 pounds, and obviously had some, uh, problems.

Once he figured I was a harmless person, I asked him a really intimate question.

Why was he working, and not sitting on the couch at home collecting welfare?

He said he had been unemployed before, and found sitting around "playing on the computer all day long" was "boring."

Driving a truck isn't much different.  You're still sitting on your ass for most of the day.

[The Village Idiot]

He said he had been unemployed before, and found sitting around "playing on the computer all day long" was "boring."

My brother drove a truck for a short while and I rode along as an "authorized" rider, meaning I was insured, and it was boring. Very boring.

[Oceander]

Driving a truck is, of course, still sitting on your derierre for most of the day, just like sitting in front of a computer, but whether or not it's just as boring is different from individual to individual.  Driving buses is, also, mostly sitting on your derierre for most of the day, and unlike OTR trucking, it involves little more than going in tight circles - like a hamster in a cage - but I, for one, didn't find it nearly as boring, or as annoying, as being a retail clerk sitting behind a counter most of the day in a used bookstore.

[Aaron Burr]

Yay! Giagantors back! And more worthless than ever...although I am alarmed to read that he's shooting fish in a barrel. Given his appetite, I picture him at sea world with a harpoon gun.

The point is, the crisco kid will indeed, kill himself. For two reasons. One, spending all that time playing vidya' games will raise his blood pressure to stratospheric levels. Two, after playing his vidya' games (i.e. cruising youporn) he'll waddle onto his bike and really give his heart a workout. At some point he'll dislodge some cholesterol and block a smaller vein. Then it will be up to the local EMS guys to cut down a power line and use the cable to jump start his elephantine heart....unless they just decide to render him down into tallow.

I hear tallow is real popular over at the DU.

[The Village Idiot]

I hear tallow is real popular over at the DU.

I hear south American gangs were kidnapping and killing fat people for the fat and selling it to the Europeans for thousands of dollars. Which makes me think a legitimate business could be established where someone doesn't die. We pay YOU to get liposuction and then we keep the rest of the profit.

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

that goes double with all the time I spend shooting fish in a barrel over in the Global Warming forum!

We have a nice GW forum.

[Karin]

In my opinion, the Las Vegas Leviathan is unemployable.  I don't care how much weight he loses, I cannot picture him setting an alarm each night, then getting out of bed on his own steam, day after day, to do an actual productive job, conquering challenges without blame, complaint, or excuses.  Every job has boring, hard, or uncomfortable parts to it, and he would throw in the towel after one week.  Sensing this, an interviewer would file his application in the circular file. 

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

I saw those pics someone posted links to. He isn't THAT big, he can fit through a door. He can get a job.

No he's not but i think the problem is he doesn't have the muscle to support that weight! I have a feeling the reason he is that size to begin with is because he has always led a sedentary life.If he ever did have a job it couldn't have been a physical one!

[DumbAss Tanker]

The behemoth will likely say he can't have a job due to a lack of shoes. By his description, his feet are the approximate length and width of the toilet seat lid on an elongated bowl. So he could strap on a pair of toilet seat lids. If that's too embarrassing, he could attach a pair of bearpaw style snowshoes, which are almost exactly the shape he describes for his feet. The fact no one makes human shoes that fit on his leg paddles is an excuse, not a reason, for his current worthless existence.

Or he could Google for a used pair of clown shoes.

 

[The Village Idiot]

No he's not but i think the problem is he doesn't have the muscle to support that weight! I have a feeling the reason he is that size to begin with is because he has always led a sedentary life.If he ever did have a job it couldn't have been a physical one!

I am big and not muscled either, I have had a pretty lazy life but I can go out and walk a mile without a problem. I guess If I add another 130 pounds thing might be different. lol.

[franksolich]

If he ever did have a job it couldn't have been a physical one!

The gigantic primitive spent years and years dealing cards in a casino.

Unfortunately, one of the fringe benefits of the job was that one could dine while working, and dine all one wanted, from the casino restaurant kitchen.

One suspects that one factor in his firing was the fear of bankruptcy of the casino pantry.

[Aaron Burr]

Uh oh. I didn't know that Jabba jr. was a card dealer. You don't get fired for being fat. If he dealt for years and years that means he was fairly competent. He either got fired for being a d!ck, or for doing something pretty bad. Either one would get him blackballed from dealing again. Is that what this is all about. Guilt?

If so, he'll stay fat for as long as remembers the scene in the office where he got confronted and given the bums rush.

Yikes!

[franksolich]

Uh oh. I didn't know that Jabba jr. was a card dealer. You don't get fired for being fat. If he dealt for years and years that means he was fairly competent. He either got fired for being a d!ck, or for doing something pretty bad. Either one would get him blackballed from dealing again. Is that what this is all about. Guilt?

If so, he'll stay fat for as long as remembers the scene in the office where he got confronted and given the bums rush.

Yikes!

Yeah, the gigantic primitive, in his autobiography, frankly admitted that being a card dealer was all he ever aspired for, in life.  Not to be a hero or a fireman or a mailman or a doctor, but a card dealer in a casino.

A little later on in the same autobiography, the gigantic primitive expressed discouragement about being a card dealer in lesser casinos, instead of one of the big ones.  Something was holding him down, relegating him to second-rate obscure casinos, but one is mystified as to what it was.

The gigantic primitive would have been better off, as a little lad, dreaming about becoming a track and field star.

[franksolich]

The world of casinos is terra incognito to me; do card-dealers have to go through any sort of background check, criminal check, credit check, drug check, sexual predator check, driving record, whatnot?

If so, would failing one of those background checks shut one off from being employed by a big casino?

[The Village Idiot]

The world of casinos is terra incognito to me; do card-dealers have to go through any sort of background check, criminal check, credit check, drug check, sexual predator check, driving record, whatnot?

If so, would failing one of those background checks shut one off from being employed by a big casino?

He wanted a job from childhood that involved no movement at all?

[franksolich]

He wanted a job from childhood that involved no movement at all?

Apparently only the jaws, and then the other end.

The gigantic primitive is Erysichthonistic, after all.

[The Village Idiot]

Apparently only the jaws, and then the other end.

The gigantic primitive is Erysichthonistic, after all.

lol. good word.