Any attempt to influence her beyond just giving her a matter-of-fact one-time read on what you would do in her shoes and why will only serve to magically transform you into the bad guy later if it does go south. Even the one-time read has to end with something acknowledging that it it totally her call, of course.
Most definitely!!!
As a Realtor....I've watched parents and friends get involved...and it can be disastorous.
Unless some of your money is involved....go look, but be very very careful in your remarks.
There is obviously a huge amount of money being spent and you don't want to be blamed if something goes wrong. It won't be your fault that something went wrong....but believe me ...IT WILL TURN OUT TO BE YOUR FAULT!!
I sold a house to an EX friend....key word "EX". Great house, last one to be built in the subdivision, the builder wanted to be done, I negotiated a ton of extras, and at a price $20,000 LESS THAN LIST!!!! Not bragging, but I did a great job for her, plus I took a cut in commission to get her all her little "bennies" ....like granite counter tops!
2600 SF and she bought it for $176,000 including closing costs. She had a good job.
Then she went crazy spending money.
Got rid of her paid for car for a newer Lexus SUV, an expensive wedding for her daughter (even though the daughter had an incredible job - mom paid for EVERY thing!), furniture and all kinds of accessories, etc.
Wells Fargo sent her an offer of a huge home equity becuase she bought the house at $30,000 less than it could be valued for a year later. She took it.
Then she refinanced again...because she enlarged the deck, traded in her car for yet a newer Lexus SUV because she wanted a different color ("you know black just shows too much dust"
) decided to turn the whole first flr that wasn't tile to hardwood....and wanted to redecorate.
Then she refinanced again....because she was broke.
Ultimately she filed for bankruptcy and walked away from her house.....with a mortgage on it of $279,000!!!!!
She told everyone she could that it was my fault because "Deb talked me into buying a house I couldn't afford!"
To top it off....the condo she moved out of? Rather than renting it out, which she could easily have done and still easily qualified for her new original loan...she panicked. Asked my other half to buy it...and he said yes. So he bought it. And...AND ....AND....loaned her $12000 for a tummy tuck and boob job at a good interest rate for her, and better than what he was making with it in the bank....and a contract to repay it was made.
She's never paid the money back...which is another whole story.....
Thank God he doesn't drink any more....
I tell you all this because when it comes to money....be very very careful with advising or helping friends out.
It can be a very very bad decision.....
