sparkling husband primitive's wife attacked by cling wrap

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x71892

Oh my.

The sparkling husband primitive's wife, she with the chemistry set in the attic, and a huge life insurance policy on the sparkling husband primitive:

Sparkly  (1000+ posts)        Sat Dec-05-09 09:41 PM
NOMINEE FOR TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Original message
 
I was attacked by a Cling Wrap box.

It's been a few years since that huge can of San Marzano tomatoes leaped off the pantry shelf to assault my foot, causing a painful bruise.

It's been pretty peaceful since. Sure, now and then the oven rack imperceptibly lowers itself onto my hand when I remove a pizza, but I've defended myself against vicious kitchen items reasonably well... Until last night.

I was reaching into a lower cabinet to get a piece of Cling Wrap, not looking, erroneously figuring I can trust it enough not to need to keep an eye on it all the time, when zzzip! The open top's serrated edge sliced the top of my right index finger. This was bad enough to require a trip to the urgent care center, where they outfitted me with this:

after which a photograph of a bandaged finger

Stinky sometimes finds my "Lucy moments" amusing, as when I got the lid of a tuna can stuck in the sink drain such that the water created a vacuum and it wouldn't come out; and I understand that he wasn't so entertained when I accidentally toasted some eggs in one of his copper pans (an attempt to boil them without water). But even after driving me to this place and waiting around, I him caught him chuckling at the dainty bow I now sport on my wrist. Well, he does stop when he remembers that it means HE has to do the dishes.

Grandma:

hippywife  (1000+ posts)        Sat Dec-05-09 10:16 PM
Response to Original message

1. Ouch!

I can almost feel that.

Hope it heals well and quickly.

Dishes, huh? Heh heh.

The sparkling husband primitive:

Stinky The Clown  (1000+ posts)        Sat Dec-05-09 10:26 PM
NOMINEE FOR TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Reply #1
 
2. Living with Sparkly is like being in perpetual reruns of I Love Lucy ....
 
after which a photograph of a 1950s television situation comedy

The tuna can in the drain required the use of actual tools to remove.

pengillian101  (974 posts)        Sun Dec-06-09 03:21 AM
Response to Original message
 
3. Boy, do I hear ya!

I like the "Don't get Mad, get Glad Wrap", but we ended up with a new roll of Saran Wrap today, which I tackled. Egads - I am kinda clumsy, but I nicked my knuckles just opening the box and got a little slice of a finger too. I wonder how to file the package sharp-edge down - just a tich.

I can totally understand how it happened. Hope it feels better tomorrow

Callalily  (1000+ posts)      Sun Dec-06-09 06:20 AM
Response to Original message
 
4. I too have been attached by the serrated edges of plastic wrap boxes, but thankfully, not to the extent where a trip to the emergency room was needed.

I myself am not immune to grating my fingers on the box grater. Those things are vicious and clearly have it out for me.

Tesha  (1000+ posts)      Sun Dec-06-09 06:27 AM
Response to Original message
 
5. the kitchen is a dangerous place...
 
sometimes you wonder how you make it out alive. I mean I've had butter leap out of the fridge straight on to my hips!

The vindictive primitive, who's waiting for a hip transplant:

Vinca  (1000+ posts)      Sun Dec-06-09 08:10 AM
Response to Original message
 
8. Ouch! Reminds me of the 10 stitches my husband got that were associated with a peel-back cat food can. Kitchens are killers.

Grandma's best friend, the miserable primitive from Arkansas:

sazemisery  (1000+ posts)        Sun Dec-06-09 09:59 AM
Response to Original message
 
11. After many of those injuries, I finally....opted for the industrial size cling wrap. No serrated edge to injure oneself. You buy the cool sliding cutter and for $14.95 you get 2000' of clingy plastic. I haven't bought cling wrap in 2 years!

Well, one hopes the sparkling husband primitive's wife heals quickly and easily.

With a bandaged finger and using the chemistry set, it can't be fun trying to concoct a foolproof method of collecting on a large life insurance policy.

[thundley4]

I was reaching into a lower cabinet to get a piece of Cling Wrap, not looking, erroneously figuring I can trust it enough not to need to keep an eye on it all the time, when zzzip! The open top's serrated edge sliced the top of my right index finger. This was bad enough to require a trip to the urgent care center, where they outfitted me with this:

And people wonder why health care costs are so high. She probably didn't need the whole finger wrapped, but the nurse either had to do that or wrap the gauze around her mouth to stop her complaining.  I sliced my hand with a razor knife at work once, bled like the dickens until I wrapped a paper towel around it , held in place by electrical tape. (on the plus side, I didn't do dishes for a couple of weeks either)

[kenth]

Unless a good hunk is missing, or you're seeing bone, it's a waste of time and money going to a clinic. This could have been filed under the other thread, Dummies Discuss Politically Correct Terms For A *****

[Carl]

I was reaching into a lower cabinet to get a piece of Cling Wrap, not looking, erroneously figuring I can trust it enough not to need to keep an eye on it all the time, when zzzip! The open top's serrated edge sliced the top of my right index finger. This was bad enough to require a trip to the urgent care center, where they outfitted me with this:

If they had stitched it then maybe the benefit of doubt applies but good God she couldn`t even put a band aid on herself?
Same for you Stinky,proving yourself as useless as tits on a boar hog.

[miskie]

Dedicated to Sparkly, and many other Primitives.

The dangerous kitchen
If it ain't one thing it's another
In the middle of the night when you get home
The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy
The meat things
Where the cats ate through the paper
The can things with the sharp little edges
That can cut your fingers when you're not looking
The soft little things on the floor that you step on
They can all be DANGEROUS
Sometimes the milk can hurt you
(If you put it on your cereal
Before you smell the plastic container)
And the stuff in the strainer
Has a mind of its own
So be very careful
In the dangerous kitchen
When the night time has fallen,
And the roaches are crawlin'
In the kitchen of danger
You can feel like a stranger
The bananas are black
They got flies in the back
And also the chicken
In the dish with the foil
Where the cream is all clabbered
And the salad is frightful
Your return in the evening
Can be less than delightful
You must walk very careful
You must not lean against it
It can get on your clothing
It can follow you in
As you walk to the bedroom
And you take all your clothes off
While you're sleeping
It crawls off
It gets in your bed
It could get on your face then
It could eat your complexion
You could die from the danger
Of the dangerous kitchen
Who the **** wants to clean it?
It's disgusting and dirty
The sponge on the drainer
Is stinky and squirty
If you squeeze it when you wipe up
What you get on your hands then
Could un-balance your glands and
Make you blind or whatever
In the dangerous kitchen
At my house tonight

[Rebel]

And people wonder why health care costs are so high. She probably didn't need the whole finger wrapped, but the nurse either had to do that or wrap the gauze around her mouth to stop her complaining.  I sliced my hand with a razor knife at work once, bled like the dickens until I wrapped a paper towel around it , held in place by electrical tape. (on the plus side, I didn't do dishes for a couple of weeks either)

Exactly. Good God, I'm amazed these dumbasses can walk and breath at the same time. I cut my fingers all the damn time. Hell, had my thumb sliced open by the fin of a Redfish last week. Did I stop fishing? Rush to the emergency room? Damn, I could imagine the look on my buddies' faces if I'd have said, "I need to go to the emergency room; I have a booboo." 

[GOBUCKS]

I keep remembering OJ's testimony on why his blood was found all over doorknobs, floors, driveways, etc., on the night he killed two people with a knife.
"I don't know, man. I bleed all the time. I don't pay any attention to that."

[Randy]

If the edges of a cut can be pushed gently together then slap a band aid on it. If it's deep then use a butterfly but if the sides roll outwards and won't come back together pushing gently from the sides then stitches are required. DUmmies are such whiny pussies.

[BlueStateSaint]

Ya know what's too bad?  He doesn't have the balls to let her bleed to death.

[Randy]

I keep remembering OJ's testimony on why his blood was found all over doorknobs, floors, driveways, etc., on the night he killed two people with a knife.
"I don't know, man. I bleed all the time. I don't pay any attention to that."

You know I can almost believe OJ on this one. I was a mechanic for a time and after being sliced and diced on a daily basis I'm at the point that I can cut myself and bleed profusely. I won't even notice it till I start getting it all over things. Numerous times I've discovered cuts well after the blood has dried and I notice when I get irritated feeling the hair on my arm pull.

[AllosaursRus]

Oh for cripes sake!!!!!!! I sliced my wrist a few weeks ago cutting nylon banding at the Home De-Pot, I wrapped it with gauze and duct tape. The "Handyman's Secret Weapon"!

Of course the powers that be, sent me to urgent care where they proceeded to apply 9 stitches. Hell I was fine with the damn duct tape. I've cut myself worse on the job and never done anything more than direct pressure, until the damn thing quit bleeding.

ETA (in construction lingo, "mere flesh wound" and "it's to far away from your heart to kill ya", were spoken daily!)

[LC EFA]

DUmmies are such pathetic little whimpering cowards.

I don't go to the ER unless there's a very good chance that whatever just happened will kill me unless immediate medical care is applied.

There's a private clinic for other stuff that can wait.

Hell - superglue and electrical tape can be used in most situations - anything larger may even result in getting a suture kit outta the first aid box and a few more cans of beer to take the edge off.

[GOBUCKS]

You know I can almost believe OJ on this one. I was a mechanic for a time and after being sliced and diced on a daily basis I'm at the point that I can cut myself and bleed profusely. I won't even notice it till I start getting it all over things. Numerous times I've discovered cuts well after the blood has dried and I notice when I get irritated feeling the hair on my arm pull.

Well, yeah, but all  OJ ever did after football was play golf and screw.

[BEG]

I almost took off my knuckle on my ring finger with a ped-egg.  It hurt and bled like a bitch. I put a band-aide on it all by myself after putting pressure on it to stop the bleeding (which took a LONG time).  Now it looks deformed.  I am the man!!!!!!   

[thundley4]

I almost took off my knuckle on my ring finger with a ped-egg.  It hurt and bled like a bitch. I put a band-aide on it all by myself after putting pressure on it to stop the bleeding (which took a LONG time).  Now it looks deformed.  I am the man!!!!!!   

You're supposed to use the ped-egg on your feet. You're doing it wrong.

[Chris]

Aside from the whole eye thing, the last time I went to the doctor I spent four days in the hospital, but I was expecting that because I knew what the problem was.  I used one of those urgent-care places to clear a blockage in my ear after that, but that's been the extent of my 'health care' for about ten years.

[BEG]

You're supposed to use the ped-egg on your feet. You're doing it wrong.

LOL. I was holding my foot so I could get a better angle on my heel. NEVER again!

[thundley4]

LOL. I was holding my foot so I could get a better angle on my heel. NEVER again!

What is it that causes callouses on womens feet.  I have to wear steel toed shoes at work, and I have no callouses at all. Uncomfortable shoes?

[GOBUCKS]

You're supposed to use the ped-egg on your feet. You're doing it wrong.

That's right. It's a pedo-file.

[NHSparky]

Yeah, work is completely overboard on the hand injury bit, to the point where if we even go into the plant for ANY reason, we carry gloves with us, no exceptions.

And WTF is the accident-prone DUmmie doing putting sharp objects on high shelves where they can't SEE them?  What are you doing putting shit in places where you don't know what you're sticking your freakin hands into?

Finally, urgent care?  Seriously?  DUmmies have never heard of sealing up a cut with super glue?

[dandi]

That's right. It's a pedo-file.

[Karin]

I simply do not understand the addiction to emergency rooms that some people have.  It is a damnable uncomfortable experience.  The lengthy wait, where you have no idea if it's going to be one hour or eight.  The pathetic people, some very sick, some incontinent, sitting near you, hacking.  The TV turned to shrill children's programming.  The excrutiating boredom, and you can't smoke.  I would do ANYTHING to not go there, including fixing my own injuries whenever possible. 

[Flame]

I simply do not understand the addiction to emergency rooms that some people have.  It is a damnable uncomfortable experience.  The lengthy wait, where you have no idea if it's going to be one hour or eight.  The pathetic people, some very sick, some incontinent, sitting near you, hacking.  The TV turned to shrill children's programming.  The excrutiating boredom, and you can't smoke.  I would do ANYTHING to not go there, including fixing my own injuries whenever possible. 

No doubt!  I haven't been to the ER for myself since i was a kid.   Recent trips have all included injuries (head injuries) to my kids that I wanted checked out.  My older son took 2 headshots with a baseball, and my younger son stopped his fall on a concrete sidewalk with his head.   Oh, and my daughter passed out a couple Thanksgivings ago.