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Author Topic: DUmmy Gets A Bonus  (Read 2500 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« on: November 30, 2009, 02:59:57 PM »
So this DUmmy becomes maybe the first DUmmy in the history of the DUmp to get a year-end bonus:
Quote
Mad_Dem_X  (1000+ posts)      Mon Nov-30-09 02:47 PM
Original message
I'm getting a bonus at work!
They just told us this morning - for the first time in the company's long history, they are giving everyone a year-end bonus. Those, like me, who have been here 6 months or more will get $2,000! 

So, how's YOUR Monday going?

Edited to add: I just wanted to post some good news today. This was not meant to be a boastful post.
 
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9146963

A $2000 bonus, in one chunk, is an almost inconceivable windfall to most DUmmies. But wait until the DUmmy sees how much of that $2000 the tax-and-spenders allow to trickle down into his check. His dream of a hugely increased stash is probably overly optimistic.

No comments yet. DUmmies are sure to credit the jug-eared muslim for this renewal of the American Dream.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2009, 03:03:27 PM »
Quote
Edited to add: I just wanted to post some good news today. This was not meant to be a boastful post.

 :whatever: :whatever: :whatever:
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Offline jukin

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2009, 04:02:15 PM »
Bonus = Profit = Evil [/DUmp]

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When you are the beneficiary of someone’s kindness and generosity, it produces a sense of gratitude and community.

When you are the beneficiary of a policy that steals from someone and gives it to you in return for your vote, it produces a sense of entitlement and dependency.

Offline franksolich

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2009, 04:29:50 PM »
The primitives don't seem too happy about the good fortune of one of their own.

Only two responses to that bonfire.

Jealous, weak, sniveling primitives.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2009, 04:52:43 PM »
Quote
like me, who have been here 6 months or more

6 months?!!!! Ya gots to be kiddin' me! I thought you had to have a little more loyalty than that. What kind of company has this kind of turnover, that 6 mos constitutes a frikkin' bonus?

Damn, I otta be worth a mil!
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Offline franksolich

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2009, 04:53:54 PM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on November 30, 2009, 04:52:43 PM
6 months?!!!! Ya gots to be kiddin' me! I thought you had to have a little more loyalty than that. What kind of company has this kind of turnover, that 6 mos constitutes a frikkin' bonus?

Damn, I otta be worth a mil!

Or, remember the First Rule of Watching the Primitives.

DUmmies lie; all the time, DUmmies lie.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline bkg

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2009, 04:59:07 PM »
Can't wait to hear his response when he learns his $2K bonus is worth ~$1100 after federal taxes... and before any state taxes.  Let's hear the "tax the rich!" cries then!  :rotf:
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Offline Tucker

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2009, 06:25:46 PM »
Quote from: bkg on November 30, 2009, 04:59:07 PM
Can't wait to hear his response when he learns his $2K bonus is worth ~$1100 after federal taxes... and before any state taxes.  Let's hear the "tax the rich!" cries then!  :rotf:

DUmmy's don't mind taxes as long as someone else is paying them. Look at the top tax man.
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Offline crockspot

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2009, 06:34:03 PM »
The last time I got a holiday cash bonus was..... hmmm.... 1986?
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Offline Oceander

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2009, 07:09:40 PM »
So, now that he's made a windfall profit above and beyond what everyone else is earning ....

... is he going to redistribute it to those who didn't get such bonuses?

I didn't think so.
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Offline Freeper

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2009, 07:22:56 PM »
Quote from: bkg on November 30, 2009, 04:59:07 PM
Can't wait to hear his response when he learns his $2K bonus is worth ~$1100 after federal taxes... and before any state taxes.  Let's hear the "tax the rich!" cries then!  :rotf:

Oh yeah its going to be funny as hell when he whines that Uncle Sam took his out of that bonus.  :-)

The last bonus I got was $250 and most of that went to the IRS.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2009, 07:42:29 PM »
Mad_Dem_X better stay off the Unemployment thread... :-)
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Offline bkg

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2009, 07:50:30 PM »
Quote from: Tucker13 on November 30, 2009, 06:25:46 PM
DUmmy's don't mind taxes as long as someone else is paying them. Look at the top tax man.

Yeah.. but this will come right out of this guys check. Most of my income is bonus/commission... taxes suck.

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Offline Freeper

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2009, 07:54:11 PM »
Quote from: bkg on November 30, 2009, 07:50:30 PM
Yeah.. but this will come right out of this guys check. Most of my income is bonus/commission... taxes suck.



Wait a second drug dealers usually do not do withholding for mules as far as I know anyway. So he won't have to worry about taxes.  :lmao:
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I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2009, 07:57:18 PM »
Quote
What kind of company has this kind of turnover, that 6 mos constitutes a frikkin' bonus?

It's very common for companies to pay incentive bonuses based on company results to every staff employee. The amount is usually a percentage of base salary, and is pro-rated for those employees who have been with the company for less than the full year.

A flat $2000 bonus sounds sort of fishy, unless it's a contractual payment to union drones, or a boiler room full of minimum wage earners who rarely last 6 months.
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Offline Karin

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #15 on: December 01, 2009, 08:51:26 AM »
There's about 10 responses so far.  Hippywife chimed in, and left one of her signature waving icons.  Another guy warned him not to post it in gen disc.  Congrats to the DUmmy. 
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #16 on: December 01, 2009, 11:56:28 AM »
Hell, I think he ought to post it on the unemployment thread. The outcome would be hilarious!
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Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: DUmmy Gets A Bonus
« Reply #17 on: December 01, 2009, 05:59:43 PM »
I hope he'll be turning all that money in to the U.S Treasury to pay for someone else's health care.
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