squeezing the primitives

[franksolich]

If the details given by my fellow alum Skins concerning the latest fund-drive have any veracity, it appears that something a little less than $20,000 was raised.

Other fund drives for Skins's island have yielded more.

What is most peculiar about this is that Bo's been president since 11:01 a.m. January 20, 2009, when everything was supposed to change, and immediately; at least that's what Bo, the 0bamaites, and the primitives promised us.

And so America and individual Americans, including the primitives, have been prospering mightily the past eleven months, money coming out of everybody's ear-lobes, money thicker than leaves flying in the autumn winds, money so plentiful even primitives can use it for bathroom tissue.

Well, with this cornucopia of new wealth, how come the fund drive raised only as much as it did?  With Bo as president, and all the promises the primitives made, one had sort of expected my fellow alum to raise.....at least $150,000.

Which was not an unreasonable goal; circa a dollar per primitive.

I know this is a minority opinion, but I don't think Skins and the elusive enigmatic Elad are paid well enough, given all the hard work involved with dealing with the primitives.

Not nearly well enough.

Remember, decent and civilized people see only the ugly side of the primitives, while my fellow alum, in the midst of them, sees an even uglier side.  It's the difference between walking by a stall in a restroom where the door is left open, and actually probing up in there.  

Not a pretty sight for decent and civilized people to observe, someone sitting on the commode, but an even less pretty sight for someone whose view of the primitives is, uh, more intimate than ours.

I want to help my fellow alum raise at least $150,000 in his next fund drive.

I have my ideas, but I'll save them for now.

Anybody here have any ideas about how Skins can squeeze the tightwad skinflint primitives?

[thundley4]

Skinner can start charging the DUmmies for using the rec/unrec and the alert buttons. The fee for the alert button should make reaching $150K simple.

[GOBUCKS]

Do you think the amount reported was true? Skimmer may not be DUmp lunatic, but is a loyal democrat, with all the dishonesty that comes with that. He said 10% of every donation would go to the leftist charities the DUmmies chose. Donation amounts can be checked, so every dollar he reported meant another 10 cents he had to shell out.  I would suspect some adjustment was made to the reported total.

[Mike220]

Tell them it's going to the "Frogmarch Bush to The Hague" charity.

I'd give it... 3.73 seconds to get that.

[franksolich]

Do you think the amount reported was true? Skimmer may not be DUmp lunatic, but is a loyal democrat, with all the dishonesty that comes with that. He said 10% of every donation would go to the leftist charities the DUmmies chose. Donation amounts can be checked, so every dollar he reported meant another 10 cents he had to shell out.  I would suspect some adjustment was made to the reported total.

I have no reason to disbelieve my fellow alum; I suspect the amount as reported is accurate, within a few cents either way.

[franksolich]

Skinner can start charging the DUmmies for using the rec/unrec and the alert buttons. The fee for the alert button should make reaching $150K simple.

That's a prime idea.

My deal is, what with the booming Boconomy and all that, everybody including the primitives now well-off and even rich, after eight years of the lousy Bush economy, the worst economy since the Fall of Constantinople in 1453, the primitives could do better.

If a primitive was walking around with a fresh new crisp $100 bill, and the primitive had only two choices on how to spend it--for dope or to give to Skins--which would be the wiser expenditure of that money?

No other choices; just for dope or to give to my fellow alum.

Which would be the wiser?

[BlueStateSaint]

That's a prime idea.

My deal is, what with the booming Boconomy and all that, everybody including the primitives now well-off and even rich, after eight years of the lousy Bush economy, the worst economy since the Fall of Constantinople in 1453, the primitives could do better.

If a primitive was walking around with a fresh new crisp $100 bill, and the primitive had only two choices on how to spend it--for dope or to give to Skins--which would be the wiser expenditure of that money?

No other choices; just for dope or to give to my fellow alum.

Which would be the wiser?

Not sure which would be the wiser, but I would think that getting the dope would be the most likely. 

[LC EFA]

That's a prime idea.

My deal is, what with the booming Boconomy and all that, everybody including the primitives now well-off and even rich, after eight years of the lousy Bush economy, the worst economy since the Fall of Constantinople in 1453, the primitives could do better.

If a primitive was walking around with a fresh new crisp $100 bill, and the primitive had only two choices on how to spend it--for dope or to give to Skins--which would be the wiser expenditure of that money?

No other choices; just for dope or to give to my fellow alum.

Which would be the wiser?

Definitely the weed.

 

[whiffleball]

He should go to subscription only access, but that would mean he'd lose his preferred status from whatever political entity that subsidizes him.  

If the 20k is true it sounds like a lot less than he's taken in in a while.  He doesn't always publicly state the dollar amounts.  I suspect he only did so this time because of the charities.

If 20k is the usual amount, then 80k split 3 ways yearly on top of site maintenance isn't saying much for the 3 employees.  Wonder if he's providing health insurance for the other David and Brian?

ETC:  I'm always thinking Lord Marblehead's first name is Brian.

[franksolich]

I'm always thinking Lord Marblehead's first name is Brian.

It's an easy mistake to make.

But all one has to remember is the two Davids, Skins and Lord Marblehead, are business partners; Brian the elusive enigmatic Elad is just an employee.

I think the take should be split only two ways, between Skins and the elusive enigmatic one, as Lord Marblehead doesn't contribute a great deal to the intellectual capacity of the Big Three.

In fact, Lord Marblehead should consider himself lucky if my fellow alum and Elad gave him a bowl of cold porridge every other day; that's all he's worth.

[GOBUCKS]

If a primitive was walking around with a fresh new crisp $100 bill, and the primitive had only two choices on how to spend it--for dope or to give to Skins--which would be the wiser expenditure of that money?

I think the vote distribution on that will be about as one-sided as Fidel's last re-election.

[AllosaursRus]

Ya know, I'm pretty sure Skins is in on the "Great Stimulus and Bailout of O'Bumbler's Contributing Partners in Crime". After all, every other DemonRat organization is swimming in taxpayer funding since the Stimulus was stolen from the American people. He's prob'ly not to worried about the dollar signs this time around.

[franksolich]

I think the vote distribution on that will be about as one-sided as Fidel's last re-election.

Perhaps I didn't make my point clear enough on that, sir.

What would decent and civilized people consider the wisest expenditure of that money?

Skins, of course.

If a primitive was running around with an extra hundred bucks, my fellow alum could use it better than any drug dealer.

[GOBUCKS]

Perhaps I didn't make my point clear enough on that, sir.

What would decent and civilized people consider the wisest expenditure of that money?

Skins, of course.

If a primitive was running around with an extra hundred bucks, my fellow alum could use it better than any drug dealer.

Well, if you believe Skimmer deserves the money more than an illegal drug dealer.... It isn't all that clear cut.

[franksolich]

I rather like the idea of my fellow alum Skins requiring each primitive to have a pre-paid account, where so much is deducted per primitive bonfire or comment.

General Discussion on Skins's island is prime real-estate, and Skins should charge the primitives for posting there, while graciously allowing them to post in other forums at no charge.  The primitives want to be seen with the hip, cool, trendy, with-it primitives; I'll bet if Skins charged $5 to light a bonfire in General Discussion, and $1 to comment upon it, he'd make more in a single week, than in an entire quarterly fund-raiser.

It would also have the effect of encouraging primitives to light bonfires in more-appropriate forums, thus lessening the chaotic clutter of General Discussion.  Sports belongs in the sports forum, mental health belongs in the mental health forum, media belongs in the media forum, gayiety belongs in the gay forum, and so on.

And penalties for breaking the rules could be deducted from such pre-paid accounts, too; say, a dollar to move a bonfire from General Discussion to its more-appropriate forum, or a dollar to "edit" a comment, or a dollar for the use of "LOL" or "+1" and somesuch nonsense.

My fellow alum could also give bells-and-whistles, credit for conduct; such as giving back fifty cents every time a primitive lights a bonfire, or comments, without the use of obscene and hate-filled language.

Such benevolence might sound as if Skins is giving away the farm, but I suspect such credits wouldn't amount to much.

My fellow alum is trying to milk the cow squeezing just one teat.

[thundley4]

I don't think it would work at those rates.  The DUmmies are some of the cheapest, most miserly and miserable people on earth.  They would find another free forum and  emigrate from the Island.

[franksolich]

I don't think it would work at those rates.  The DUmmies are some of the cheapest, most miserly and miserable people on earth.  They would find another free forum and  emigrate from the Island.

I thought about that too, but in the end, while it might cause some attrition, it probably wouldn't cause a whole lot.

I mean, look at the primitives--Pedro Picasso, for example, or Doug's stupid ex-wife or the Die alte Sau or Ms. Ed or the Bostonian Drunkard or the sparkling husband primitive, &c., &c., &c.

They're addicted to Skins's island, and really, have nowhere else to go.

My fellow alum devised a rather clever trap nine years ago.

[GOBUCKS]

Can you imagine their reaction? They went nuts over something as trivial as "unrec"!!