The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting

[Ptarmigan]

The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting
By Nancy Gibbs
Time
Friday, Nov. 20, 2009

The insanity crept up on us slowly; we just wanted what was best for our kids. We bought macrobiotic cupcakes and hypoallergenic socks, hired tutors to correct a 5-year-old's "pencil-holding deficiency," hooked up broadband connections in the treehouse but took down the swing set after the second skinned knee. We hovered over every school, playground and practice field — "helicopter parents," teachers christened us, a phenomenon that spread to parents of all ages, races and regions. Stores began marketing stove-knob covers and "Kinderkords" (also known as leashes; they allow "three full feet of freedom for both you and your child") and Baby Kneepads (as if babies don't come prepadded). The mayor of a Connecticut town agreed to chop down three hickory trees on one block after a woman worried that a stray nut might drop into her new swimming pool, where her nut-allergic grandson occasionally swam. A Texas school required parents wanting to help with the second-grade holiday party to have a background check first. Schools auctioned off the right to cut the carpool line and drop a child directly in front of the building — a spot that in other settings is known as handicapped parking.

We were so obsessed with our kids' success that parenting turned into a form of product development. Parents demanded that nursery schools offer Mandarin, since it's never too soon to prepare for the competition of a global economy. High school teachers received irate text messages from parents protesting an exam grade before class was even over; college deans described freshmen as "crispies," who arrived at college already burned out, and "teacups," who seemed ready to break at the tiniest stress.

Time-The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting

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We all know what an overinvolved parents are. Also known as "helicopter parents". I mean seriously, schools do not allow kids to walk to school. We overschedule are kids to do everything. Risk aversion. I see parents get so riled up if they kid does not do well in class or if they do no get into the cheerleading team or the college they want to go. This has been a problem for centuries, especially among the elites. It is exacerbated by cell phones. Also, there is the scare of kidnappings, child predators, and poisoned candy. Most kidnappings are committed by parents in bitter divorce case or a relative or friend. Most victims of molestation know their molester. The poisoned candy was because Ronald O’Bryan put cyanide in candy to kill his own children in a life insurance scam in 1974.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Yeah, well, my kids never had that problem.  They'll never know there's a minefield out there until they drive over a couple of them on their own, I just tried to keep them away from the big ones that'd break a track or cause a hull breach.

[MrsSmith]

If we all had a half-dozen kids, not only would SS and Medicare possibly not bankrupt the country...but parents would be too busy to constantly hover.  

[mamacags]

I know parents like that.  I know parents that made everyone who came near their kids use purell and screened them for sickness.  I know people who bought their 1 year old $80+ shoes so they would walk better.  People are total freaks about their kids.  It bugged me so much I swore I would never be like that.

[Ptarmigan]

Over involved parents have always been around. It was confined to the elites. Queen Victoria's parent were like that.

[Ptarmigan]

I know parents like that.  I know parents that made everyone who came near their kids use purell and screened them for sickness.  I know people who bought their 1 year old $80+ shoes so they would walk better.  People are total freaks about their kids.  It bugged me so much I swore I would never be like that.

I know parents want to do what is best for their kids, but c'mon $80 shoes is just ludicrous. Some parents get too wrapped up in their kids literally, like Lori Drew. Parents need to give kids real love and discipline, which they crave for.

[vesta111]

I know parents want to do what is best for their kids, but c'mon $80 shoes is just ludicrous. Some parents get too wrapped up in their kids literally, like Lori Drew. Parents need to give kids real love and discipline, which they crave for.

Things I do not see anymore.

Mothers or grandmas spitting on a handkerchief to remove food or dirt from a child's face.

Mothers that place a dropped pacifier in their mouth before giving it back to the baby.

Sterilizer's for baby bottles, most hospitals now give formula to new borns cold so no heating required.

School yards with those huge monkey bars and tether ball, or strides in the mix.

Winter, kids running for a frozen pond with ice skates and no adult out there checking if the ice will hold them.

Kids running through the woods in the summer climbing trees with no safety line.

Kids sitting on a hassock in the back seat of a car with no seat belt.

Kids eating raw hamburg or drinking something with a raw egg----Or licking the bowl or beaters from a cake mix with raw eggs.

Kids taking a found piece of plywood and making a raft to paddle out into the middle of a river and ride the tide.

Kids getting their first 22 at the age of 10 and left alone to pop soda cans off a log.

Kids carrying a pocket knife and at the age of 7-8 learning how to whittle by themselves.

Kids in the city learning how to ride the bus to places they wanted to go, all by themselves and learn to read the bus schedule at 12 years of age.

Shade tree Mechanics that at the age of 15 save up from a paper rout enough to buy a junk car and get it to purr like a kitten.

Kids at 15-16 with a summer job had to buy their own school clothes and school supplies.

Parents were responsible for their kids until the turned 21 and became adults. This was a safety net for the kids that graduated at 17-19 from highschool. 

We today are turning our children into some kind of Pet.  As long as they live they can all ways come home to the family even if they end up at the age of 40 not working and just lay about the house like an ageing dog or cat.

Something is just not right here, where did society go wrong.?

[Flame]

Things I do not see anymore.

Mothers or grandmas spitting on a handkerchief to remove food or dirt from a child's face.  I did it.

Mothers that place a dropped pacifier in their mouth before giving it back to the baby.  Did it

Sterilizer's for baby bottles, most hospitals now give formula to new borns cold so no heating required. Breastfed, so doesn't apply

School yards with those huge monkey bars and tether ball, or strides in the mix. They have them here.

Winter, kids running for a frozen pond with ice skates and no adult out there checking if the ice will hold them.

Kids running through the woods in the summer climbing trees with no safety line. Hm...my 9 yr old and his friends run amuk whenever they can

Kids sitting on a hassock in the back seat of a car with no seat belt. That's just retarded...seat belts/car seats save lives

Kids eating raw hamburg or drinking something with a raw egg----Or licking the bowl or beaters from a cake mix with raw eggs. my kids fight over licking the bowl

Kids taking a found piece of plywood and making a raft to paddle out into the middle of a river and ride the tide.

Kids getting their first 22 at the age of 10 and left alone to pop soda cans off a log. we live in too poulated of an area for total freedom, but they shoot when they can

Kids carrying a pocket knife and at the age of 7-8 learning how to whittle by themselves. they both have pocket knives, but  they can't carry them all the time...school issues.

Kids in the city learning how to ride the bus to places they wanted to go, all by themselves and learn to read the bus schedule at 12 years of age.

Shade tree Mechanics that at the age of 15 save up from a paper rout enough to buy a junk car and get it to purr like a kitten.

Kids at 15-16 with a summer job had to buy their own school clothes and school supplies.

Parents were responsible for their kids until the turned 21 and became adults. This was a safety net for the kids that graduated at 17-19 from highschool. 

We today are turning our children into some kind of Pet.  As long as they live they can all ways come home to the family even if they end up at the age of 40 not working and just lay about the house like an ageing dog or cat.

Something is just not right here, where did society go wrong.?

Not everyone has gone nuts yet.

[debk]

Wow....and my kids thought I "hovered" too much because...

I wanted to know who their friends were...

once they were driving....they had to call home if they were going to be even just a few minutes late. One was very good about it...the other one sucked at it....

they weren't allowed tv's in their rooms until high school....

they weren't allowed to lock their bedroom doors....

I stayed with them at the neighborhood swimming pool...

I was on the PTA board and a home room mother all through their elementary years....

I went on field trips....




Didn't do the pacifier thing....because neither one of mine ever used one.

Breast fed both kids, and used those Playtex bottles with the plastic liner, they both were through with bottles at 11 and 10 months.

Seatbelts are ALWAYS used.

We lick the beaters and the bowl when baking.

I love raw hamburger...they don't.

We didn't have guns in the house or pocket knives until the other half moved in after the kids were out of high school.

Both kids went to work at 16. If they wanted to drive, they had to pay for their car insurance....so they had to work.

No bus service where we lived.