DUmmies Discuss Tofu And All The Fixings For Thanksgiving

[GOBUCKS]

So this DUmmy UndertheOcean makes a lunatic post about having a big slimy wad of tofu, molded into a turkey, instead of the real thing on Thanksgiving. He ignites an enormous bonfire, more like a forest fire, over 300 replies. The DUmmy groupthink is surprisingly nearly unanimous in ripping the OP to shreds for being the ignoramus that he clearly is. He has an ally show up near the end, but to no avail. The really surprising thing is what a nerve he struck at the DUmp in attacking turkey for Thanksgiving. DUmmies otherwise have a visceral hatred for anything associated with tradition or America's Christian heritage. Nothing is more clearly a unique American Christian tradition than Thanksgiving. Who do they think we are thanking? Pelosi? DUmmies should applaud anything that deracts from Thanksgiving, but in this thread they don't seem to realize it:

UndertheOcean  (1000+ posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 04:49 PM
Original message
Please consider a Tofurkey this season 

I mean , your ancestors committed genocide against the Native Americans , enslaved the African People , and murdered millions across the world in the 20th century. There is no need for you to saddle your collective Psyche with more bad karma .

Or , if you still want to add more blood to your hands and partake , kill the bird yourselves , see how that feels

 
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7068135

tblue  (1000+ posts)       Sun Nov-22-09 05:52 PM
112. Lol! True story: I bought one last year and FORGOT TO COOK IT!
 until we were sitting down at the table to eat. I'd made a small turkey breast for my carnivorous guests, and I usually eat only the side dishes (the best part of any Thanksgiving). So I didn't remember until my mom said, "What about YOUR Tofurkey?" Egad!

Well, the box of Tofurkey is still sitting in my subzero freezer, so I'm gonna make it this year and hope it's still edible!

If this had come from DUmmy Pam of Greenbriar Lane, I wouuld think she's bragging about having an upscale brand freezer.

hardcoreliberal (12 posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 04:51 PM
2. No thanks
There is nothing more disgusting than Tofu.

I share DUmmy hafrdcoreliberal's opinion of tofu.

 

UndertheOcean  (1000+ posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 04:52 PM
4. More disgusting than the burnt corpse of a once living being on your table ?

Mmmmm..burnt corpses of once living beings!

safeinOhio  (1000+ posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 06:42 PM
183. Just because plants are mute, doesn't mean they don't cry out in pain
when you slice them up, boil them alive and crunch down on them with your teeth and chew them up. PLANTS ARE PEOPLE TOO.

Brickbat (937 posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 05:05 PM
40. "Burnt"? Well, there's your problem right there. Overcooking never helped anything.
Basting doesn't hurt, either.

Warren DeMontague  (1000+ posts)         Sun Nov-22-09 06:39 PM
178. Not more disgusting than some pinhead assuming they're morally positioned to tell others what to
have for dinner.

The turkey-feasting DUmbasses sing a different tune when it comes to Japanese restaurants serving whale. Which is an excellent meat.

Lucian  (1000+ posts)       Sun Nov-22-09 09:21 PM
334. If you don't like eating meat, then don't ****ing eat it.
Let those who want to eat it, eat it. It's not that hard.

Don't equate eating a turkey on Thanksgiving to owning slaves and committing genocide. They are FAR from being the same thing.

DUmmy Lisanumbers unwittingly describes the DUmp:

Lisa0825  (1000+ posts)       Sun Nov-22-09 08:18 PM
296. The nature of the internet is that the most obnoxious voices get heard.
The sensible, diplomatic ones often go unnoticed.

People like the OP do no favors to their cause.
I have been trying to eat "more vegetarian," though I don't ever see my self going 100%, but assholes like the OP make me want more meat! LOL

 

I'm not sure whether this DUmmy is just being a DUmmy, or if he's a troll mocking DUmp orthodoxy. Either way, he's funny:

trotsky  (1000+ posts)         Sun Nov-22-09 04:53 PM
5. We buy a free-range, natural-fed, antibiotic-free turkey.
Killed humanely. 

Drunken Irishman  (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 04:54 PM
I'd rather eat ass.
But thanks for the suggestion.

I'm looking forward to chowin' down on a crisp dead bird. I LOVE turkey skin. Not healthy, but it tastes so damn good.

Though I think I am more into white meat than dark.

WillyT  (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 06:16 PM
147. Yeah... Good Thing They Didn't Serve Donkey Those First Years...
 Today we might be saying...

"Could somebody please pass me a piece of ass?"

DUmmy JVS is DEFINITELY mocking his fellow DUmpmates, but not one of them catches on:

JVS  (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 04:54 PM
9. Turkey doesn't taste so good. I'm having veal for the main dish and some foie gras to start it off.

Finally, after nearly 200 posts almost unanimously pounding the stupid original post, another lunatic shows up to take up the cause:

Unvanguard (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 06:33 PM
169. I'm sorry the OP hurt your feelings.
But perhaps when the OP thinks about the animals imprisoned in horrific conditions and slaughtered en masse for the sake of someone's "different dietary choices", he/she finds it hard to feel much sympathy.

Unvanguard (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 06:44 PM
187. Yes, so do I
and ancestors who were enslaved, and ancestors who were subject to all kinds of brutal persecution that the OP didn't mention but could have.

Neither of us, however, have ancestors who were imprisoned in factory farms and murdered to satisfy the desire of another species for "tasty meat." That's unfortunate. Perhaps we (that is, the human species) would get this moral point better if we did.

 

Unvanguard (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 07:30 PM
241. I don't think I'm misunderstanding anything. I think you're missing the point.
The point is, the ground for your "offense" presupposes that the meat industry is other than what the OP (and I) suppose it to be, that is, an unspeakable moral atrocity. If that is what it is, then it is not offensive to compare it to other moral atrocities.

If you wish to contest this, you have to do better than complain about being offended: you have to contest that judgment.

Try to unriddle this one:

Unvanguard (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 07:38 PM
249. As with all comparisons, it is not a statement of identity, moral or otherwise.
But I suspect that the real issue here is not that, but rather the fact that we have still not yet advanced far enough in moral consciousness to recognize that horrific injustices done to animals are still injustices. However "tasty" they may be.

uppityperson  (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 07:56 PM
268. We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
love Dilbert

Cirque du So-What  (1000+ posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 05:05 PM
38. On second thought, maybe popcorn isn't such a good idea
It'll probably somehow get construed as exploitative of the Native Americans 

stray cat  (1000+ posts)     Sun Nov-22-09 05:04 PM
36. I take it you don't believe in antibiotics either as they kill bacteria
after all a boy is a dog is a cockroach is a bacteria - why should we sacrifice one to save the other?

 

flvegan  (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 05:33 PM
82. I have Tofurkey every Thanksgiving.

 
I doubt DUmmy flvegan needs to make a very big one.


Uh oh....:

Hestia  (749 posts)       Sun Nov-22-09 05:37 PM
93. Alternet: The War on Soy - Why the 'Miracle Food' May Be a Health Risk and Environmental Nightmare

Most of the soy eaten today is also genetically modified, which may pose another set of health risks. The environmental implications of soy production, including massive deforestation, increased use of pesticides and threats to water and soil, are providing more fodder for soy's detractors.

flvegan  (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 06:21 PM
154. Because it tastes good.
Same reason one eats turkey, without the suffering and killing. Same reason many of us love faux bacon, lunchmeat, burgers, etc. It's also a convenient item for a v****e host serving non-v****e guests, for someone transitioning to veg*ism, or for someone trying to be more healthy/environmentally responsible from time to time.

I'm not speaking for the OP, just giving my insight and opinion.

Somehow I doubt many people come to DUmmy flvegan's place for dinner.

[kenth]

UndertheOcean  (1000+ posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 04:49 PM
Original message
Please consider a Tofurkey this season

I mean , your ancestors committed genocide against the Native Americans , enslaved the African People , and murdered millions across the world in the 20th century. There is no need for you to saddle your collective Psyche with more bad karma .

Or , if you still want to add more blood to your hands and partake , kill the bird yourselves , see how that feels

As a Native American, Choctaw to be specific, F you and the Tofurkey you rode in on.

[debk]

Quote
flvegan  (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 06:21 PM
154. Because it tastes good.
Same reason one eats turkey, without the suffering and killing. Same reason many of us love faux bacon, lunchmeat, burgers, etc. It's also a convenient item for a v****e host serving non-v****e guests, for someone transitioning to veg*ism, or for someone trying to be more healthy/environmentally responsible from time to time.

I'm not speaking for the OP, just giving my insight and opinion.

I'm not much of a bacon eater.....but "faux bacon"....is just so beyond wrong....

Do these people not realize, if it's "faux" ,there has to be a whole bunch of chemicals in it to get the flavor?...

[dandi]

I'm serving platters of Snail Darters and Southern Fried Spotted Owl by the bucketfull. I'm going to chow down on genetically modified corn, bread made from wheat grown in a window box at Halliburton, Inc. headquarters, and wash it all down with tea made from the sweat of child laborers in Tibet and sweetened with high fructose corn syrup. I'm going to make sure the pumpkins used in my pumpkin pie are anything but Free Trade. I'm going to smile at a painting of the Pilgrims all the while and wipe my greasy smiling lips on paper napkins made from old-growth trees. Happy Thanksgiving, DUmmies.

[Chris]

Mmmmm..burnt corpses of once living beings!

I'll take mine with extra cranberry sauce and stuffing, please!

[JohnnyReb]

I mean , your ancestors committed genocide against the Native Americans , enslaved the African People , and murdered millions across the world in the 20th century

There's a big leap from eating to turkey to all that murder/slavery/ genocide guilt.

Liberals....slower than a speeding sloth, less powerful than a creepy slug but definitely able to leap vast expanses to a complete disconnect.

[Odin's Hand]

safeinOhio  (1000+ posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 06:42 PM
183. Just because plants are mute, doesn't mean they don't cry out in pain
when you slice them up, boil them alive and crunch down on them with your teeth and chew them up. PLANTS ARE PEOPLE TOO.

I guess this DUmmy is posting from one of those trees outside California Memorial Stadium.

[Mr Mannn]

467 replies and the thread got locked.

Most people were letting the OP/UndertheOcean have it for coming across as offensive.
More quotes

Nickster  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  
321. To quote Denis Leary, "Meat tastes like murder, and murder tastes pretty f**king good."

A HERETIC I AM  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  
413. If only they made Tofpuppy or Tofkitty or Toffluffybunny. Tofurkey sounds too much like...
   
"Too f**ked up to eat".

Fun thread though. Almost as much fun as the bombing the moon threads and the corporate moon water raiders.

Bonn1997  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)
441. Only a speciesist would disagree with the OP. I agree with the OP but realize his/her tone won't do
any good. I was a meat eater until a few months ago. I can understand where others are coming from. Before I started reading about speciesism, I would have had the same reaction many others have had.

Warren DeMontague  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)
461. Okay, I'm a speciesist. Like, I'd gladly say the life of a sick child is more valuable than the life of a lab rat.

Speciesist!

[Odin's Hand]

I wish more DUmmies weren't speciesists. Starving themselves out would save us a lot effort.

[TheSarge]

Warren DeMontague  (1000+ posts)         Sun Nov-22-09 06:39 PM
178. Not more disgusting than some pinhead assuming they're morally positioned to tell others what to
have for dinner.

And yet I'd be willing to bet this DUmmie has no problem with the government assuming THEY are "morally positioned" to dictate to us about healthcare.

[TheSarge]

As a Native American, Choctaw to be specific, F you and the Tofurkey you rode in on.

   YES!  You just made my day with that!   

[JohnnyReb]

None of that toe-****y stuff for me Thursday. I'm having turkey, ham, beef, deer and any other meat one of the family members may bring...and I'm gonna eat twice as much as usual to make up for any DUmmie "Not one damn slice of meat day." boycott.

[Celtic Rose]

Modern American vegetarians, and especially vegans, are largely the result of living in an affluent society.  They are capable of spending extra money on specialty items like tofurky, fake bacon, fake sausage, soy milk, etc.  They can take extra dietary supplements to make up for not eating meat.  One of my coworkers is Hindu, and doesn't eat meat for religious reasons, and she would never, ever, try to tell anyone this holier-than-thou "meat is immoral" stuff.

[Carl]

I mean , your ancestors committed genocide against the Native Americans , enslaved the African People , and murdered millions across the world in the 20th century

There's a big leap from eating to turkey to all that murder/slavery/ genocide guilt.

Liberals....slower than a speeding sloth, less powerful than a creepy slug but definitely able to leap vast expanses to a complete disconnect.

As our recent trolls here have shown it is their entire way of "thinking".
Little they believe makes any sense when it comes to linear thought or historical record so they have to jump all around so as to never be forced to face their idiocies.

[debk]

Modern American vegetarians, and especially vegans, are largely the result of living in an affluent society.  They are capable of spending extra money on specialty items like tofurky, fake bacon, fake sausage, soy milk, etc.  They can take extra dietary supplements to make up for not eating meat.  One of my coworkers is Hindu, and doesn't eat meat for religious reasons, and she would never, ever, try to tell anyone this holier-than-thou "meat is immoral" stuff.

My son is coming home for Thanksgiving and bringing his girlfriend...that we have never met....and she is a vegetarian. They will be here from Wed afternoon until sometime on Sunday.

I've been worried what to feed her....he said not to worry, if she got hungry, he would make her a grilled cheese.

Bless her heart (I mean that sincerely ...not the southern way )...I talked to her for the first time the other day, and asked her what she would like to eat. She said, "please don't worry, I will be fine, with cheese and pickles." I finally dragged it out of her, what she liked and disliked of non-meat stuff. She won't go hungry, and thank heavens I don't have to do anything with fake meats or tofu.

Gee....when the other half's rather large DIL has been here, she complains that there's not enough to eat. There's always plenty to eat around here, she just wants to be waited on.... Does not even help with cleanup after a meal..... She does not seem to understand the concept that "family" doesn't get waited on and "family" at the very least, offers to help with the dishes!! I don't know why I expect her to be any other way.....she thinks Obama is woooonnnnnnderfullllllllll....

[Wineslob]

Unvanguard (1000+ posts)        Sun Nov-22-09 06:33 PM
169. I'm sorry the OP hurt your feelings.
But perhaps when the OP thinks about the animals imprisoned in horrific conditions and slaughtered en masse for the sake of someone's "different dietary choices", he/she finds it hard to feel much sympathy.

I don't give-a-shit, I'll run up and chop it's damn head off, then throw it in a vat of boiling lard rendered from pigs that I'd gladly shoot through the head or in the eye, my choice. 
Deep fried Turkey is da bomb!

I love animals, they taste so damn good. 

[Chris_]

I've known a few vegetarians, and they all seem to share a common trait.......they don't appear to be very healthy, and to the last one, they daily gulp down fistfulls of "dietary supplements"......what's up with that?

It all seems to be a bit rediculous to me.......after all, why did G*d give us canine teeth if he didn't expect us to actually use them......

doc

[debk]

I've known a few vegetarians, and they all seem to share a common trait.......they don't appear to be very healthy, and to the last one, they daily gulp down fistfulls of "dietary supplements"......what's up with that?

It all seems to be a bit rediculous to me.......after all, why did G*d give us canine teeth if he didn't expect us to actually use them......

doc

One of my daughter's friends is a vegetarian. I've known her for at least 10 years and she has been as long as I've known her. She's a very pale pale blonde that doesn't go out in the sun much, and she looks frail...but she's pretty strong. She did fine while she was pregnant and had a healthy baby girl, even though she came about 3 weeks early.

My son's friend that he's bringing home Wednesday is a track and field star - she pole vaults for Univ Neb - Kearney....and I think she's some sort of runner/sprinter too. I would assume she must be healthy or a coach wouldn't let her do the stuff she does....she's a senior.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Tofurkey is to turkey what John McCain is to Conservatism, I therefore have no interest in having anything to do with it whatsoever.

 

[ColonialMarine0431]

UndertheOcean  (1000+ posts)      Sun Nov-22-09 04:49 PM
Original message
Please consider a Tofurkey this season 

I mean , your ancestors committed genocide against the Native Americans , enslaved the African People , and murdered millions across the world in the 20th century. There is no need for you to saddle your collective Psyche with more bad karma .

Or , if you still want to add more blood to your hands and partake , kill the bird yourselves , see how that feels

What a sad world he must live in.

[BlueStateSaint]

Or , if you still want to add more blood to your hands and partake , kill the bird yourselves , see how that feels

I'd love to.  Damn things are tough to hunt, though.

[franksolich]

I'd love to.  Damn things are tough to hunt, though.

Turkeys are hard to hunt?

I didn't know that, but I never paid much attention.

Out here in the Sandhills of Nebraska, it's a common sight to see flocks of them, running across the front yard or up over the William Rivers Pitt or crossing the roads; at times, I've had to stop and wait for a herd of them to finish ambling, strolling, over the highway.

They're so common even the cats don't bother toying with them.

Although they appear big, wild turkeys always struck me as having less meat that what they seem to have, and so hence probably not worth the effort of bagging one.

Such a perception might seem weird coming from someone who is surrounded, smothered, by nature, but as in all things, one can have too much of something, after which one pays no attention.

[GOBUCKS]

Turkeys are hard to hunt?

I didn't know that, but I never paid much attention.

Out here in the Sandhills of Nebraska, it's a common sight to see flocks of them, running across the front yard or up over the William Rivers Pitt or crossing the roads; at times, I've had to stop and wait for a herd of them to finish ambling, strolling, over the highway.

They're so common even the cats don't bother toying with them.

Although they appear big, wild turkeys always struck me as having less meat that what they seem to have, and so hence probably not worth the effort of bagging one.

Such a perception might seem weird coming from someone who is surrounded, smothered, by nature, but as in all things, one can have too much of something, after which one pays no attention.

Turkeys are the wariest and smartest of all American wildlife. Tougher to hunt than the wiliest old buck. Like deer, sometimes they seem to be all over the place, but that suddenly changes when you go into the woods looking for them.

[Odin's Hand]

Turkeys are hard to hunt?

I didn't know that, but I never paid much attention.

Out here in the Sandhills of Nebraska, it's a common sight to see flocks of them, running across the front yard or up over the William Rivers Pitt or crossing the roads; at times, I've had to stop and wait for a herd of them to finish ambling, strolling, over the highway.

They're so common even the cats don't bother toying with them.

Although they appear big, wild turkeys always struck me as having less meat that what they seem to have, and so hence probably not worth the effort of bagging one.

Such a perception might seem weird coming from someone who is surrounded, smothered, by nature, but as in all things, one can have too much of something, after which one pays no attention.

Yeah, heck, in SE Oklahoma the Rio Grandes are milling around in every clearing during Spring turkey season.

[debk]

I have a double flock trekking through my yard on a daily basis.....they are all getting quite large.

I'm surprised no one has hunted them down....though I guess they would need a silencer or whatever in order to not make much noise.