Note so all is not lost.
Take that thing to a Biker Rally, it is in some places a tradition that is acknowledged in some parts of the country that rice burners are tossed into a Bonn fire.
Or if you have a sense of humor place that thing in the line of Harley's to be judged on best paint job.
Want to win a blue ribbon, put that bike into the rat bike contest, then with much to-do throw it into the fire.
Don't forget to call your insurence company when you get home and report the thieft of the bike.