Bostonian Drunkard describes honeymoon

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6831695

Oh my.

The Bostonian Drunkard:

WilliamPitt  (1000+ posts)        Thu Oct-22-09 10:07 AM
Original message
 
Catching Up With The Crazy

So, I got married two weekends ago, and spent all of last week honeymooning with my wife in front of a stone fireplace in a tiny cabin by a tiny lake in the woods of New Hampshire. No cell phone reception; no TV channels because the tube was still hooked up to an analog antenna on the roof that looked to have been there since the Truman administration; no internet access whatsoever; the only newspapers to be found were at the end of several miles of a rutted, rock-strewn, dirt road, and since neither of us felt particularly compelled to deal with anything except each other, my wife and I pretty much fell completely off the planet.

Coming home, in retrospect, may have been an egregious tactical error on my part. One hour of television news, one hour of reading last week's news dispatches, made me want to pile back into the car and race back to that cabin, where the only stupidity was self-inflicted and the only crazy was the flight pattern of the bats snatching insects off the top of the lake.

Okay, now actually, the above's one of the Bostonian Drunkard's "truthout" essays, dealing with politics, but since that's all meaningless blather and dribble-drabble, I didn't put it into the boat to bring back over here.

Which means I left 99% of the Bostonian Drunkard's wordage on the beach at Skins's island.

WilliamPitt  (1000+ posts)        Thu Oct-22-09 12:31 PM
Response to Original message

8. Afternoon kick

There's only a few primitives at the bonfire, all of them kissing the Bostonian Drunkard's rear end, the usual stuff, but I thought this from the blind primitive was worth quoting:

Robyn66  (583 posts)        Thu Oct-22-09 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #8
 
10. Don't forget your theatrical debut
 
The wedding was amazing. They are the loveliest couple I have ever seen!!

[The Village Idiot]

 

synchronized puking

[NHSparky]

Dear DUmmie,

Now you know why I live here.

Now you also understand why I despise Masshole libtards like you moving up here and ****ing it up!

[Ralph Wiggum]

No internet access, TV, cell phones, or newspapers on your honeymoon?  Boo-****ing-hoo.  There are far more important & fun things to be doing on your honeymoon than worrying about Chimpeachment and 0bama.

[JohnnyReb]

No internet access, TV, cell phones, or newspapers on your honeymoon?  Boo-*******-hoo.  There are far more important & fun things to be doing on your honeymoon than worrying about Chimpeachment and 0bama.

2 weeks of trying and he still ain't consummated the marriage........

[franksolich]

2 weeks of trying and he still ain't consummated the marriage........

I kind of sort of suspect the Bostonian Drunkard can't get it up any more, given the damage excessive alcohol's wrought on his cerebral cells and neuro-muscular system.

[AllosaursRus]

I could have gone all day without that mind bleach image!!!!!!!1111111

No cell phone reception; no TV channels because the tube was still hooked up to an analog antenna on the roof that looked to have been there since the Truman administration; no internet access whatsoever; the only newspapers to be found were at the end of several miles of a rutted, rock-strewn, dirt road

Uh, guess what asshat, on my honeymoon, I couldn't tell ya if those things EVEN EXISTED!!!!

ETA:

where the only stupidity was self-inflicted

I never thought you would admit you're an idiot. Will wonders never cease!!

[GOBUCKS]

I kind of sort of suspect the Bostonian Drunkard can't get it up any more, given the damage excessive alcohol's wrought on his cerebral cells and neuro-muscular system.

It even caused his hair to fall out.

[AllosaursRus]

It even caused his hair to fall out. And his pecker to go limp!

fixored!

I know it's redundant, but hey!

Besides, If you're worried you have been cut-off from the outside world during your honeymoon, you reeeeeeaaaaaally are an ass!

[RobJohnson]

No internet access, TV, cell phones, or newspapers on your honeymoon?  Boo-****ing-hoo.  There are far more important & fun things to be doing on your honeymoon than worrying about Chimpeachment and 0bama.

Yup, and no CVS to fill his Rx for Cialis. 

[crockspot]

WilliamPitt  (1000+ posts)        Thu Oct-22-09 10:07 AM
Original message
 
Catching Up With The Crazy

So, I got married two weekends ago, and spent all of last week honeymooning with my wife in front of a stone fireplace in a tiny cabin by a tiny lake in the woods of New Hampshire. No cell phone reception; no TV channels because the tube was still hooked up to an analog antenna on the roof that looked to have been there since the Truman administration; no internet access whatsoever; the only newspapers to be found were at the end of several miles of a rutted, rock-strewn, dirt road, and since neither of us felt particularly compelled to deal with anything except each other, my wife and I pretty much fell completely off the planet.

Coming home, in retrospect, may have been an egregious tactical error on my part. One hour of television news, one hour of reading last week's news dispatches, made me want to pile back into the car and race back to that cabin, where the only stupidity was self-inflicted and the only crazy was the flight pattern of the bats snatching insects off the top of the lake.

I'm giving it one bong, since it is perhaps the best bit of prose he has ever written. But as a bouncy, think "Dead Cat".

[jukin]

Too bad that his honeymoon could not have lasted 24 business hours.

[franksolich]

Too bad that his honeymoon could not have lasted 24 business hours.

It looks as if the Bostonian Drunkard never got it up, and tired of the exertions, took a break and returned to Boston.  They'll probably give it another try in about a month.

[BadCat]

It looks as if the Bostonian Drunkard never got it up, and tired of the exertions, took a break and returned to Boston.  They'll probably give it another try in about a month.

Is this the chick with some kind of affliction?
Or did he find a drunk skank at Bukowski's?

[franksolich]

Is this the chick with some kind of affliction?
Or did he find a drunk skank at Bukowski's?

I think it is, but I could be wrong.

He was going with that one broad with some sort of degenerative neuro-muscular ailment.

I think the one with the ailment was the one who worked the perfume counter at some discount store, and got fired, and the Bostonian Drunkard ruined her chances of getting severance pay &c., by bashing the company on Skins's island.

Unless the Bostonian Drunkard changed women real fast, it must be her.

[crockspot]

I think it is, but I could be wrong.

He was going with that one broad with some sort of degenerative neuro-muscular ailment.

I think the one with the ailment was the one who worked the perfume counter at some discount store, and got fired, and the Bostonian Drunkard ruined her chances of getting severance pay &c., by bashing the company on Skins's island.

Unless the Bostonian Drunkard changed women real fast, it must be her.

As long as she doesn't violate the pre-nup, she can live on in trust fund heaven now.

[franksolich]

As long as she doesn't violate the pre-nup, she can live on in trust fund heaven now.

The Bostonian Drunkard's maternal grandfather apparently put some pretty tight reins on the trust funds for the Bostonian Drunkard; it's under control of his mother and her brother apparently, and the Bostonian Drunkard doesn't get it until his maternal ancestress kicks the bucket (although the way the Bostonian Drunkard is decrepiting, his mother might outlast him).

But one wonders if by marrying, the Bostonian Drunkard might get freer access to at least some of the funds (I dunno; trust funds are something I've never dealt with, excepting as a minor of 17 years old, and that was only for a year, and it was nothing the scale of the Bostonian Drunkard).  The beer industry might be waxing fat and prosperous, if that's the case.

If you've seen the latest photographs of the wedding, on the post stickied to the top here in the DUmpster, I'm wondering if anyone else is seeing the same thing I'm seeing.  The Bostonian Drunkard resembles no one more than Nikita Khrushchev (the benign side) and Lavrenty Beria (the malignant side).

The guy's a ugly ****.

[BadCat]

The guy's a ugly ****.

Severe alcoholism will do that to a person.

[jinxmchue]

So, I got married two weekends ago, and spent all of last week honeymooning with my wife in front of a stone fireplace in a tiny cabin by a tiny lake in the woods of New Hampshire. No cell phone reception; no TV channels because the tube was still hooked up to an analog antenna on the roof that looked to have been there since the Truman administration; no internet access whatsoever; the only newspapers to be found were at the end of several miles of a rutted, rock-strewn, dirt road, and since neither of us felt particularly compelled to deal with anything except each other, my wife and I pretty much fell completely off the planet.

Bullshit.  Either he never got married and was actually in the slammer serving out some minor sentence or they spent the week at some fleabag motel.

[debk]

Bullshit.  Either he never got married and was actually in the slammer serving out some minor sentence or they spent the week at some fleabag motel.

well, he did say "tiny cabin and tiny lake"......maybe it was a camper trailer next to a mud puddle....