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Author Topic: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?  (Read 11768 times)

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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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"Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« on: October 13, 2009, 08:52:59 PM »
So...

...I buy a microwave sandwhich of the typical variety. You know, the ones that say "Microwave for 5 minutes then allow 3 days to cool".

Well, in addition to these instructions the last line says, "Fold sandwhich halves together and enjoy."

"Enjoy"?

What if I don't enjoy? What if I call the 1-800-Y-WE-SUCK comment line and say, "I didn't enjoy it." Are they going to tell me, "That's because you didn't follow the directions.

Why is the onus suddenly on me?

This shit keeps me up a night, man.

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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2009, 08:56:55 PM »
Maybe they were talking about yur threesome when they said fold the two sammich halves and enjoy....   :naughty:

....these are the types of things that plague my mind.
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2009, 09:47:27 PM »
Did I kill snuggle's thread?  :thatsright:

Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?
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Offline Chris_

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2009, 10:01:39 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on October 13, 2009, 09:47:27 PM
Did I kill snuggle's thread?  :thatsright:

Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?

Ha! Yes I remember those Swanson pot pies. I remember the days before microwaves, when it took 50 full minutes to cook one in the regular oven, then it would scald you if you even tried to eat it without it cooling for 15 - 20 minutes. How did we ever survive without the microwaver devise.
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2009, 10:06:52 PM »
Quote from: Kay on October 13, 2009, 10:01:39 PM
Ha! Yes I remember those Swanson pot pies. I remember the days before microwaves, when it took 50 full minutes to cook one in the regular oven, then it would scald you if you even tried to eat it without it cooling for 15 - 20 minutes. How did we ever survive without the microwaver devise.

I think it taught us patience. I remember full meals of leftovers being cooked on the stovetop or in the oven. Sometimes you had to wait more than 45 seconds to eat!  :p
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Offline Chris_

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2009, 10:30:04 PM »
Yes and then we had to actually do dishes and clean up the kitchen instead of just throwing out the wrapper. I don't really miss that.
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If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2009, 10:32:07 PM »
Quote from: Kay on October 13, 2009, 10:30:04 PM
Yes and then we had to actually do dishes and clean up the kitchen instead of just throwing out the wrapper. I don't really miss that.

True that.  :-)
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2009, 11:05:39 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on October 13, 2009, 09:47:27 PM
Did I kill snuggle's thread?  :thatsright:

Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?

I just had 2 pot pies for dinner. delicious. had to blow on every molten bite.
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Offline RobJohnson

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2009, 11:51:42 PM »
Quote from: FGL on October 13, 2009, 11:05:39 PM
I just had 2 pot pies for dinner. delicious. had to blow on every molten bite.

They never seem to cool off do they?
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Offline Airwolf

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2009, 11:59:52 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on October 13, 2009, 09:47:27 PM
Did I kill snuggle's thread?  :thatsright:

Speaking of nuclear potables.... does anyone remember swanson pot pies? Were they not like eating molten lava when they came out of the 450 degree oven?

Which is why to this day I refuse to eat one. One to many of those were served to us as a kid.
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Offline debk

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2009, 12:29:43 AM »
Quote from: Airwolf on October 13, 2009, 11:59:52 PM
Which is why to this day I refuse to eat one. One to many of those were served to us as a kid.


Try Marie Callenda's.....her chicken pot pies are great....way better than the Swanson ones we ate as kids....
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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline Hawkgirl

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2009, 12:32:26 AM »
Pot pies are the true comfort foods....but if you eat them often, you'll get a pot belly :uhsure:
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Offline debk

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #12 on: October 14, 2009, 12:38:50 AM »
Quote from: Hawkgirl on October 14, 2009, 12:32:26 AM
Pot pies are the true comfort foods....but if you eat them often, you'll get a pot belly :uhsure:

The other half eats them for lunch during the winter. Personally, I prefer Marie's chicken and noodles... (oink, oink :-))
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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #13 on: October 14, 2009, 12:44:38 AM »
Quote from: Hawkgirl on October 14, 2009, 12:32:26 AM
Pot pies are the true comfort foods....but if you eat them often, you'll get a pot belly :uhsure:

I already had one
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #14 on: October 14, 2009, 06:16:58 AM »
Quote from: Mr Snuggle Bunny on October 13, 2009, 08:52:59 PM
So...

...I buy a microwave sandwhich of the typical variety. You know, the ones that say "Microwave for 5 minutes then allow 3 days to cool".

Well, in addition to these instructions the last line says, "Fold sandwhich halves together and enjoy."

"Enjoy"?

What if I don't enjoy? What if I call the 1-800-Y-WE-SUCK comment line and say, "I didn't enjoy it." Are they going to tell me, "That's because you didn't follow the directions.

Why is the onus suddenly on me?

This shit keeps me up a night, man.



Why doesn't Google Maps have an "avoid ghetto" option?

Is it really safe to sign an e-mail to your boss, "Regards" when T and G are so close together?

Why don't obituaries tell you HOW someone died?  It'd be a lot more interesting.

Why do you like all the songs on your iPod, unless it's on shuffle, then it's about 1 in every 15 songs?

Why are school zones 20 mph?  That's like optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.

What would happen if you ran over a ninja?

Why are you asking ME these stupid questions?
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #15 on: October 14, 2009, 08:11:07 AM »
I used to wonder why 7-11's had a locking door.  I don't anymore.  This summer, we had a power outage.  The poor 7-11 dude had to guard the store by locking the door, and yelling "We No Open!"
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2009, 08:36:41 AM »
What about that thing on the package that says "Open Here"?  What I if I want to go to another room and open it?

(H/T, George Carlin)
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Offline debk

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2009, 11:28:31 AM »
Why does the curling iron package have the caution.....VERY HOT, MAY CAUSE HARMFUL BURNS...... guess IRON on the label isn't enough warning.... :thatsright:
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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline thundley4

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #18 on: October 14, 2009, 11:36:55 AM »
Quote from: debk on October 14, 2009, 11:28:31 AM
Why does the curling iron package have the caution.....VERY HOT, MAY CAUSE HARMFUL BURNS...... guess IRON on the label isn't enough warning.... :thatsright:

Do they still say "Do not use while in the shower", or was that hair dryers? 
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Offline Chris_

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #19 on: October 14, 2009, 11:47:16 AM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on October 14, 2009, 08:36:41 AM
What about that thing on the package that says "Open Here"?  What I if I want to go to another room and open it?

(H/T, George Carlin)
...another sketch from George Carlin, from going through a drive-thru window (fast food, bank, etc.)
"Have a nice day, sir."
"WTF???  What if I've just had 5 nice days in a row, and don't ****** want another one?  Now what?  You've put all this pressure on me to have another nice day.  What if I don't want to?"

 :lmao:
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Offline Eupher

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #20 on: October 14, 2009, 11:47:47 AM »
Quote from: thundley4 on October 14, 2009, 11:36:55 AM
Do they still say "Do not use while in the shower", or was that hair dryers? 

I think it was boom boxes.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #21 on: October 14, 2009, 12:09:04 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on October 14, 2009, 11:47:16 AM
...another sketch from George Carlin, from going through a drive-thru window (fast food, bank, etc.)
"Have a nice day, sir."
"WTF???  What if I've just had 5 nice days in a row, and don't ****** want another one?  Now what?  You've put all this pressure on me to have another nice day.  What if I don't want to?"

 :lmao:

I'm due for a shitty day!!!!

And on that subject....

....I'm going to take a sh*t!  Well don't take one of mine!  I only have two left and the weekend is coming up!  Take a sh*t?  Don't you leave a sh*t?
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Offline Eupher

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #22 on: October 14, 2009, 12:13:29 PM »
"Snot - the original rubber cement."

"A house is nothing but a big pile of stuff with a lid on it. You have to put a lock on your house. Why? Well, when you're out buying more stuff for your house, you don't want them to steal the stuff you already have. Why is it they steal only the 'good' stuff?"
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Offline Thor

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #23 on: October 14, 2009, 12:14:11 PM »
Quote from: debk on October 14, 2009, 11:28:31 AM
Why does the curling iron package have the caution.....VERY HOT, MAY CAUSE HARMFUL BURNS...... guess IRON on the label isn't enough warning.... :thatsright:

Ask my ex-wife....... :loser:
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Offline debk

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Re: "Enjoy" WTF?!?!?
« Reply #24 on: October 14, 2009, 12:54:35 PM »
Quote from: Thor on October 14, 2009, 12:14:11 PM
Ask my ex-wife....... :loser:

I have to admit I have frequently burned an ear or my forehead over the years with a curling iron....not because I don't know that it's hot.....but because I'm a klutz and lack coordination.. :thatsright:
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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.
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