left of center (259 posts) Sun Oct-11-09 06:02 PM
Original message
How to be a good Republican:
Edited on Sun Oct-11-09 06:03 PM by left of center
HOW TO BE A GOOD REPUBLICAN
1. You have to believe that the nation's current fiscal disaster is due to eight months of Obama and not eight years of Bush.
I believe that the current disaster is due to 2 years of a Dim majority in both houses, esaperated by high energy cost, and now compounded by Zero's "knowledge" of economics....
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
You mean, like the Kennedys, and the Rockefellers....
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect your Social Security check on time.
I'd be against SS too, if I had the freedom to invest it FOR MYSELF....
4. You have to reject the notion of government-run healthcare of any kind, but expect folks to pry Medicare from your cold dead fingers.
I support the idea of medical savings accounts, since Medicare is going bankrupt....
5. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
No, I believe actions have consequences. All the above get what they deserve....
6. You have to believe that assault weapons and handguns are intended for purposes other than killing people.
I believe I have the right to protect my person, property, and family by any means necessary, with any force available, with any weapon within reach....
7. You have to believe everything Rush Limbaugh says, or at least not openly disagree with him.
Almost the first true thing you've written on this whole screed. I don't believe EVERYTHING Rush says, just 99.2% of it....
8. You have to believe the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor (or that your own household can, for that matter).
My dairy farm had more trouble with Carter and Clinton policies than whether or not Juan or Jose could milk a cow....
9. You have to believe God hates abortion and homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
This one I have to agree with....
10. You have to believe that black people who do not succeed "just don't work hard enough," but that white people who don't succeed are discriminated against.
I believe that anybody that doesn't succeed does so on their own behalf. The only limits to their success are usually self-imposed....
11. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
I believe the environmental wacko movement of today is more about destroying business than cleaning the air....
12. You have to believe freedom of religion means freedom to impose your Christian views on everyone else.
I believe freedom of religion means that I can pray wherever, whenever, and with whoever I please, and if that offends you , that's your problem. Unless I am Muslim, then, there's no problem....
13. You have to believe that philanderers, adulterers, and pedophiles make the best representatives of your party to pontificate on moral matters.
I had no idea that Franks, Clinton, Kennedy, and Byrd were Republicans....
14. You have to believe cutting taxes, increasing spending, and borrowing the difference makes sounds fiscal policy.
More so than raising taxes, exploding spending, and printing money makes sound fiscal policy....
15. You have to believe Iran (whose surging youth population actually admires us) is our enemy, but that Pakistan (base of the Taliban) and Saudi Arabia (home of most of the 9/11 terrorists) are our friends and allies.
I believe the leadership of Iran wants a showdown with the US and Israel, possibly even nuclear, and Asama bin Laden was born in Saudi Arabia as well....
16. You have to be against government interference in business, until your corporation is about to go broke and you beg for a government bailout.
Corporations are run by their CEO's and Board of Directors, who are elected by the stockholders. If the corporation is about to go broke, it THEIR job to fix it. How a business is run (within the confines of the law) is NONE OF THE GOVERNMENT'S F'N BUSINESS!
17. You have to use the words Communist and Fascist interchangeably and believe President Obama is BOTH.
I have to agree with that one, since Zero is both....
18. You have to be against health care reform because you imagine government rationing and death panels, but you ignore the very real rationing and denial of life saving medicine on the part of private health insurers.
Medicare denies twice as many claims than private insurance companies do.
19. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.
You believe that a jug-eared Kenyan crackhead with limited governmental and no executive experience makes a great president because he's a minority....
20. You have to be willing to associate with every tinfoil hat-wearing, birther, pro-militia, racist nut job in the country just to reach a quorum at your own meetings.
You willingly associate with every tinfoil hat wearing, truther, anti-military, radical terrorist, wacko enviromentalist, former Klansman racist nutjob in the government so you can justify your existence....
21. You have to be more outraged by Bill Clinton staining Monica's dress than you are by George Bush staining this country's world reputation.
I could care less what "the world" thinks of the US, just so long as they wet their pants and $hit their turbans whenever our name is mentioned. I'm more outraged at Zero's downing this country, while french kissing and "circle jerking" with every 2-bit tinhorn dictator that smiles and waves at him....
22. You have to be willing to realize that all those Constitutional rights that you blithely discarded during the last administration might well protect you when the current administration comes after you for your crimes.
Since I know of no rights that I discarded during the last administration, I have to worry about the current administration's blithely taking over the banking, automotive, and (still trying) medical industries in this country, totally outside the confides of the Constitution....
23. You have to believe that Halliburton and its ilk perform a vital service to this country.
Yes. And I support Halliburton in their partnership with Walmart and Target in the building of their underground detention facilities for political dissidents....
24. You have to believe that artificial limbs and massive lifetime healthcare for our deserving veterans is going to magically pay for itself.
I believe that this country does an abysmal job of taking care of it's war veterans, and has done so for a very long time.
25. You have to believe that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11, despite eight years of documentation to the contrary.
I believe that Saddam Hussein gave free passage and training to any terrorist organization that requested it, including Al-Qedia....
26. You have be angry about President Barack Obama increasing the national deficit by 3 trillion dollars to save the country from economic collapse, but could care less about the 3 trillion, 1.5 trillion, and 2 trillion dollar additions during the business-as-usual administrations of Presidents George W Bush, George H Bush, and Ronald Reagan.
I'm angry for Zero increasing the debt by that much in less than a year for a policy that will not and has never worked to save a country from "economic collapse"....
27. You have to believe the mainstream media is really, really bias, but that Fox News is actually fair and balanced.
I have to agree with this one....
28. You have to believe Reverend Wright is some wild-eyed, religious fanatic for condemning America, but that Jerry Falwell’s, Pat Robertson’s, John Hagee’s condemnations over the years makes them men of God.
Damn, 2 in a row....
29. You have to believe we can balance the budget by cutting “wasteâ€, but you don’t want any reductions in social security, medicare, and military, even though their current 2/3 to 3/4 share of the federal budget is growing.
And you believe that by adding more people to SS and Medicare roles will cut waste and decrease government spending....
30. You have to feel more comfortable with power being concentrated in large corporations than in a democratically elected government.
I have yet to find the corporation that can force me to do whatever it wanted, at the point of a gun if necessary, like the government can, and does....
