All this is well and good but it is pointless.
We are dealing with a culture than cannot accomodate what we are attempting to accomplish. We either change their culture--forcibly--or we concede that they cannot be "saved". Even the former will be difficult and probably impermenant as their culture arose from their physical environment.
Personally, I believe that culture can change eventually, but choice, but that may be because I'm young and naive.

Afghanistan used to have educated women, even women doctors, but the Taliban put an end to that. It may not reach Western standards, but it can improve. Democracy was dead overall for a large part of World History, and it will take longer for some areas to adapt to it, but I believe it can be done.
Out of curiosity, do you believe that we still have a purpose in Afghanistan, and what do you think we should be trying to accomplish?