An older couple is lying in bed one morning. They had just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, 'Don't touch me.'
'Why not?' he asked.
She answered, 'Because I'm dead.'
The husband asked...'What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!'
She said, 'No, I'm definitely dead.'
He insisted, 'You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?'
'Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.'
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Remember...
Once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed ..
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If it weren't for STRESS
I'd have no energy at all.
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Whatever hits the fan...
Will Not Be Evenly Distributed.
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Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some, like me, just don't have any film.
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I always know God won't give me more than I can handle
There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much.
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Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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Bills travel through the mail...
at twice the speed of checks.
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If you look like your passport picture...
you probably need the trip.
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Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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Opportunities always look bigger going than coming...
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Junk is something you've kept for years
and throw away three weeks before you need it.
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Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
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Learn from the mistakes of others.
Trust me... you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
