Author Topic: For the mothers of boys...  (Read 1911 times)

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Offline Chris

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For the mothers of boys...
« on: August 30, 2009, 12:28:09 PM »
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin ! , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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Offline RGSG99

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Re: For the mothers of boys...
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2009, 06:37:35 AM »
I have 3 boys.  It's like living with monkeys on acid.   :rotf:
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
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Offline djones520

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Re: For the mothers of boys...
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2009, 09:05:02 AM »
Quote
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

HA!  I was thinking about how I was going to do this when I went up to spend a week with my best friend next month.
"Chuck Norris once had sex in an 18 wheeler. Some of his semen dripped onto the engine. We now call that truck Optimus Prime."

Offline Chris

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Re: For the mothers of boys...
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2009, 09:13:41 AM »
I read it and immediately thought "Hey, I've got some brake fluid around here." :fuelfire:
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Offline DixieBelle

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Re: For the mothers of boys...
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2009, 09:48:05 AM »
Oh my. :rofl: Thank goodness I only have one. Well, one boy and one full grown boy.
I can see November 2 from my house!!!

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No, my friends, there’s only one really progressive idea. And that is the idea of legally limiting the power of the government. That one genuinely liberal, genuinely progressive idea — the Why in 1776, the How in 1787 — is what needs to be conserved. We need to conserve that fundamentally liberal idea. That is why we are conservatives. --Bill Whittle

Offline jtyangel

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Re: For the mothers of boys...
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2009, 10:00:15 AM »
This is my youngest to a tee.  :lmao: I have earned every one of my gray hairs parenting him.  :lmao:

Offline Chris_

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Re: For the mothers of boys...
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2009, 08:22:19 PM »
I have one boy and his dad is worse than he is at ANY age
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