Author Topic: franksolich contemplating Broadway, cinema musical comedy about Skins's island  (Read 7787 times)

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Offline franksolich

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I was outdoors earlier this morning, before the sun started beating down hard, looking for one of the cats, Abbie, along the river, and got to thinking.

The Powerball lottery jackpot as of today stands at "$61,000,000," which means that really, when all is said and done, one has about $20,000,000.

franksolich has three sets of numbers on the current Powerball; the drawing is tomorrow, Saturday, at 10:00 p.m. central time, 9:00 p.m. mountain time.

I've always wanted to do a musical comedy about Skins's island and the primitives, for both Broadway and Hollywood.

A long time ago, I began having this dream about this musical comedy.  When I win the Powerball, of course most of the dough's going for sensible things, such as real-estate in the Sandhills of Nebraska, bison and Clare Boothe Luce memorabilia, but surely there'd be enough spare change left over to fufill this dream about doing Skins's island and the primitives.

When I first got this idea, I figured P-J Comix of the most-excellent DUmmie FUnnies could be in charge of direction, with Charles Henrickson and Paul Heinzman from the same place, being in charge of music and editing, respectively.

I know talent when I see it.

And then later on, Freeper impressed me, really impressed me, with his skills, and so I thought, okay, Freeper could write the script, or the screen-play.  And most recently, miskie has come into the mix, with his awesome talents, and so now I had two co-writers, assuring the best work since Shakespeare.

And then Servonaut entered the picture with his sublime wit, to be in charge of both titles and one-liners.

CelticRose then popped into mind; I thought, yeah, sure I could make her a star.

Which femme primitive, though, I'm not sure yet.

Acting is difficult, demanding work, requiring commitment and dedication, and so none of the primitives could possibly play themselves; one would have to use decent and civilized people to play the roles of primitives.

mamacags would be brilliant as the Vermontese 0bamaite cali primitive.

Probably an Oscar-winning performance there.

This is NOT to infer that mamacags has any similarities with the bitter old woman cali primitive; it is to say only that mamacags could act the cali primitive, and brilliantly.

Either RobJohnson or Rebel, similarly, could act Skins, despite that neither of them in real life have any similarities with my fellow alum; one just intuitively senses either one could act the part successfully.

There's the, uh, awkward matter of the subway cat and Doug's ex-wife; there is just no way a decent and civilized person could replicate either primitive.....and so alas, probably Freeper, miskie, and Paul Heinzman would have to write those primitives out of the script, or screen-play.

As for franksolich myself, being the financier of the project, there is some ego involved, and so I would assign myself at least a little cameo role, that of playing Pedro Picasso.

Seriously, no one could possibly play Pedro Picasso better than franksolich.

No one.

Because franksolich is a deaf person who acts as if he can hear, franksolich at a very young age developed the skills of John Barrymore.  The supercilious sneers of Pedro Picasso, the pusillanimous prancings, the arrogance, the contempt in which Pedro Picasso holds for all the other primitives, and the utter stupidity of Pedro Picasso, would be nothing, nothing at all, for franksolich to portray, stellarly.

Of course, there's the matter of the voice.

That problem however could be solved by having BadCat, a superb musician and one assumes equally a superb mimic, behind the curtain, ventroquilizing franksolich's lines as Pedro Picasso.
apres moi, le deluge

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Offline franksolich

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Additional thoughts:

JohnnyReb would be perfect, just perfect, to play the role of the mountain man primitive, the "ThomWV" primitive, although our esteemed colleague John would have to put on some weight and wear eyeglasses.

In fact, when looking at the budget for such a production, pillows look as if they would be a significant expense, pillows to make those playing the primitives plumper.

In real life, our esteemed colleague of course has no resemblence to the mountain man primitive.  This is sort of like in Hollywood, where virtuous women in real life act whores in movies, and whores in real life act virtuous women in movies.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Chris_

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Being best utilized behind the scenes, so to speak, I'll volunteer to do set design, run the lighting and sound software, and generally keep my less than ideal physique out of eyeshot, if you like Frank.
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Offline BadCat

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I'd be glad to help out, frank.

And hey, I could gain 300 lbs, grow a beard and play HamstersFromHell.
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Offline franksolich

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I'd be glad to help out, frank.

And hey, I could gain 300 lbs, grow a beard and play HamstersFromHell.

Come to think of it, a bigger problem than that, the gigantic primitive would be hard to portray.

But no, BadCat, I wouldn't want anybody's health to suffer.  You could use a whole lot of pillows.

The deal is, usually people in real life have a "talent" for acting out opposite of what they're really like; the case of mamacags and the cali primitive, for example.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline whiffleball

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No, no, you just can't write out the Subway Cat!  Even a few decent, civilized folks might yearn to act absolutely batshit crazy in the name of good theater.  Someone will step forward to take on this odious, but possibly cathartic duty.

Offline franksolich

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No, no, you just can't write out the Subway Cat!  Even a few decent, civilized folks might yearn to act absolutely batshit crazy in the name of good theater.  Someone will step forward to take on this odious, but possibly cathartic duty.

But I think casting Doug's ex-wife and the subway cat, played by decent and civilized people, would be formidably difficult.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline BlueStateSaint

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Coach, not only would I volunteer to do this, but I could probably talk my cantoring "mentor," a rather pretty mid- to late-20s brunette (whose political leanings I have yet to ascertain), into doing a voice or two.
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Offline Ree

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can i play the cat?

In Tennessee. I came down here to get warm,froze my arse off since I got here..
Just my luck... ;-P

Offline franksolich

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Coach, not only would I volunteer to do this, but I could probably talk my cantoring "mentor," a rather pretty mid- to late-20s brunette (whose political leanings I have yet to ascertain), into doing a voice or two.

Well, now, I've been thinking of you too, sir, but haven't made up my mind yet.

This would be paid acting work.

Money motivates excellence.

You don't think JohnnyReb, for example, would do the mountain man primitive for nothing, do you?  Or mamacags the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive?
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Ree

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but i refuse to cut my boobiez off....
In Tennessee. I came down here to get warm,froze my arse off since I got here..
Just my luck... ;-P

Offline franksolich

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can i play the cat?

Actually, I was thinking you'd do great as the NanceGreggs idiot.

No reflection on you, madam, not at all.  It's just that I have this intuitive sense that you'd be a blast playing the NanceGreggs idiot, bringing down the house, even though you in no way shape or form in real life resemble the NanceGreggs idiot.

You just have those special skills where you would play her well.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline franksolich

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but i refuse to cut my boobiez off....

As far as I know, the NanceGreggs idiot is still fully-shelved.

But you'd need some pillows, to add bulk, to more closely resemble her.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline miskie

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but i refuse to cut my boobiez off....

Which is why I think Basement Kitty needs to be played by a man. - Comic relief and all that.

Offline franksolich

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Which is why I think Basement Kitty needs to be played by a man. - Comic relief and all that.

Whoa.

That's it, that's it, that's it.

FGL could play the subway cat, and even though FGL in no way resembles the subway cat, FGL could win an Oscar or an Emmy or a Nobel on playing that role.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Ree

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Which is why I think Basement Kitty needs to be played by a man. - Comic relief and all that.
that would work.... :-)
In Tennessee. I came down here to get warm,froze my arse off since I got here..
Just my luck... ;-P

Offline Ree

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As far as I know, the NanceGreggs idiot is still fully-shelved.

But you'd need some pillows, to add bulk, to more closely resemble her.
is that the canadian that's a female wee willy?  writes reams of shit but never says a thing....
In Tennessee. I came down here to get warm,froze my arse off since I got here..
Just my luck... ;-P

Offline franksolich

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is that the canadian that's a female wee willy?  writes reams of shit but never says a thing....

Yeah.

The other problem with using you, madam, to play the role--although all problems can be solved--is, in addition to adding to your bulk using pillows, can you sag well?

The NanceGreggs idiot is no spring chicken, and is sort of, uh, flaccid.

I've decided we could put Schadenfreude on the payroll in charge of men's make-up, and Crazy Horse on the payroll in charge of women's make-up.  I'm sure Crazy Horse could figure something out, to make you sag like the NanceGreggs idiot.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Ree

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Yeah.

The other problem with using you, madam, to play the role--although all problems can be solved--is, in addition to adding to your bulk using pillows, can you sag well?

The NanceGreggs idiot is no spring chicken, and is sort of, uh, flaccid.

I've decided we could put Schadenfreude on the payroll in charge of men's make-up, and Crazy Horse on the payroll in charge of women's make-up.  I'm sure Crazy Horse could figure something out, to make you sag like the NanceGreggs idiot.
My dear....I'm not a skinny little thing...
At this time I'm a "full figured" woman....
In Tennessee. I came down here to get warm,froze my arse off since I got here..
Just my luck... ;-P

Offline franksolich

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My dear....I'm not a skinny little thing...
At this time I'm a "full figured" woman....

I realize that playing the NanceGreggs idiot would be difficult for you, but there would be extra pay in the role, too.

But when all is considered, probably the expense for pillows to make those portraying primitives plumper, and FGL's salary for playing the subway cat, would be the top two expenses.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline franksolich

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Okay, while I was driving to town to get some cigarettes, it came to me, like Saul on the Road to Damascus.

The play/movie's saved.

We can put Doug's ex-wife into it after all.

DixieBelle here could do an awesome caricature of Doug's ex-wife.

The role would be difficult, but still not as difficult as for FGL to play the subway cat, and so FGL would be the highest paid actor on the staff.  Not necessarily the star of the show, but the highest-paid one, because of the role.

And FGL has had prior professional acting experience; not much, but some.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline ReaganForRushmore

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Would the play include Andy Stephenson ala Bernie out of "Weekend at Bernie's"? :-)

Would you have Wee Wille play himself? :rotf:

Offline GOBUCKS

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A good title might be "Springtime For Skinner".

I have a brother-in-law who's a dead ringer for California Peggy.

Offline franksolich

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Would the play include Andy Stephenson ala Bernie out of "Weekend at Bernie's"? :-)

Would you have Wee Wille play himself? :rotf:

Actually, I was thinking of having Chris play the Bostonian Drunkard.

And Thor play Chief S itting Bull, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive.

But make-up costs are going to be astronomical.

For example, to give all the actors the bulk of the primitives, it's looking more and more like I'm going to have to buy a pillow factory, too.

I haven't thought about the late red round one; if Freeper and miskie put him into the script, or screen-play, and if his role passes muster with Paul Heinzman, I'll think of somebody here to play the late red round one.
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline delilahmused

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But I think casting Doug's ex-wife and the subway cat, played by decent and civilized people, would be formidably difficult.

Well there's always CG. That way you'd only have to have people do the voices.

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