http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8895640Yeah, yeah, I know, but really it's not a misleading headline, because the
schmekele primitive
does show up at this bonfire.
Politics_Guy25 (688 posts) Wed Jul-01-09 02:59 PM
Original message
Can ugly people who happen to be disabled ever find love?
This is going to be a Debby Downer thread but I'm so upset this morning. Here's the deal. I'm a 26-year-old guy. I'm slim, look young, have a good physique, have a very high tested IQ, good job, college education and anyone that knows me likes me BUT I was also born with something called Moebius Syndrome which is congenital facial paralysis.
I had to have an operation at 7 and 9 years old on the left and right side of my face respectively to be able to smile and I don't have full lip closure so my mouth is permanently partially open. The smile surgery that I had gave me a smile but it didn't completely take on the left side and it looks kind of contorted.
I can walk just fine and have all 4 functioning limbs so I don't look obviously disabled. I kind of talk a bit funny as well. I've worked on my speech and I think I sound a lot more like other young men than I used to but there's still a hint of a speech impediment there.
Anyway, my parents, brother, aunt, even my grandpa all say that I'm good looking. My grandpa told me once in 2007 "oh don't worry about your looks, you're very handsome."
BUT I don't believe them because see, I've been on several dating sites over the past 5 years since my early 20s and I hardly get any replies. Indeed, I don't think ANYONE who isn't like 12-20 years older than me has ever replied.
So, on Monday, I built up my confidence, added a couple new pictures and browsed this dating site and found someone that I was so attracted to, was so cute, and put together a nice e-mail. Well, my E-mail was viewed last night.
This person didn't even bother to reply. Viewed my profile but must have found my pictures respulsive or something. It's the SAME thing OVER AND OVER. My parents and family buck me up and tell me that I'm handsome and then I get rejected when I put myself out there on these dating sites.
I don't get it. I showed a couple colleagues my pics in the past and they say that they look good and cute but I accidentally showed someone my pic in 2006 without them knowing who it was online and this person said "OMG, I've never seen someone uglier" and "if you know this guy, tell him not to post these pics. It'd be mean to say that he looked good."
Another thing is, people that don't take the time to get to know me all instantly judge me as a retard. I was dating someone for over a year but got brutally dumped. I think my ex didn't realize that I had a disability before we met and lost interest. Plus my ex thought that I was weird I think. Anyone that knows me wouldn't have jumped to the conclusion my ex did. My ex won't even be my friend now.
Anyway, you guys reading this, are the types of people that would view online dating profiles probably. I should just give up right? Just forget about finding love. No one would ever want me anyway right? I should just shut down all my profiles on online dating sites right? It's not even worth the effort is it?
Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I write this. People have NO idea NO idea how hard it is being different from everyone else, even just a bit different.
At least I have my job, good money, good family and strong passion for politics. Too bad the rest of the world rejects me huh? What would you do if you were me and should I be mad at my family for telling me that I was handsome when the rest of the world clearly does not think so?
Thanks for letting me rant. I can't very well tell my mom this. It'd break her heart.
Oh my.
franksolich allegedly looks handsome too--as long as he wears his hair long.
Otherwise the absence of ears (birth defect) would show, freaking people out, especially primitives.
What the ugly primitive doesn't understand is that it matters only what God thinks of one; what other people think is meaningless. But this is a primitive, after all, and additionally probably with not the strength of character franksolich has, to have a sense of humor about it.
Anyway, the bonfire, in the Lounge, is enormous, and well worth getting out the boat and rowing over to Skins's island, to laugh at the primitive responses to it.
But one can't resist quoting a new Primitive of Prominence, the
schmekele primitive:
Inchworm (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-01-09 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
10. Try fishing in a different pond
I'm just rambling...
but the internet has its uses. Some have good luck with dating sites, some.. not so much. Some play video games, some.. not so much. Some like researching online, some like libraries... etc.
If you aren't having luck typing stock answers to stock questions try a venue where that isn't how it's done. Maybe you don't drink, but bars/clubs are good for showing your personality. The downside to that is that you know what you'll possibly find going in (same thing with fishing in church).
Try to be active doing something you enjoy. If your personality shines you just might find you a keeper that enjoys some things you do. If you love skateboarding and goto skate parks to do it... chances are you may bump into a skater chick/dude that digs you.
yada yada.. I'm babbling now and will hush.
I hope you find what you seek.
If Chief S itting Bull, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive had shown up, I would've quoted him too, but alas no Chief S itting Bull. But for entertainment, there's the ThomCat primitive whining about how ugly he looks, and the Rita Hayworth primitive and Grandma (the "hippywife" primitive) trying to be nice and helpful.
