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Author Topic: Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking  (Read 1451 times)

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Offline Chris_

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Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking
« on: July 01, 2009, 06:47:00 AM »
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Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking

JENSEN BEACH - A man was charged with domestic battery after he drenched his wife with a garden hose and attacked her for smoking in the house, according to a police report.

The altercation began Saturday evening when the victim entered the couple's residence in the 1400 block of Northeast Chardon Street while smoking a cigarette.

The affidavit says the victim's husband, John Jeffrey Murray, 51, began yelling at her about smoking in the house and sprayed her with the hose.

When the victim picked up the phone and began calling a friend, Murray believed she was trying to call police and began trying to grab the phone from her.

According to the affidavit, he hit the victim in her mouth with his elbow during the struggle.

Despite the victim's clothes being soaked with water, Murray told deputies he had been watering the grass and did not intend to spray her.

The affidavit says he claimed the water was simply "over spray."

Maybe he saw the smoke and thought she was on fire.  He was just trying to put it out. Yeah, that's it.   :uhsure:

FloriDUH
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Offline Flame

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Re: Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2009, 07:18:27 AM »
The definition of assault is getting far too broad, in my humble opinion.  Pretty soon, a sharp look will be construed as assault!
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2009, 07:53:26 AM »
Quote from: Flame on July 01, 2009, 07:18:27 AM
The definition of assault is getting far too broad, in my humble opinion.  Pretty soon, a sharp look will be construed as assault!

Bingo. It's getting so bad, a married couple can't even have a knock-down, drag-out fight without some kind of legal bullshit to contend with.

Whatever happened to cavemen, cavewomen, and clubs?

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Offline NHSparky

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Re: Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2009, 08:14:35 AM »
Oh, Christ--here we go with the wife jokes...

So I might as well start!

Why do brides wear white?  Matches the stove and fridge.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2009, 11:13:06 AM »
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."    :lmao:

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Offline NHSparky

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Re: Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2009, 11:29:05 AM »
A man is sitting in his car in his driveway, sobbing uncontrollably.  His wife discovers him and asks what's wrong.

"Remember when your father came out that night with the shotgun and said either I marry you or spend the next 20 years in prison?"

"Of course dear.  Why?"

"I would have been released today."
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Treasure Coast man charged with spraying wife with garden hose for smoking
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2009, 11:37:02 AM »
To: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of the phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Jonathan Powell


To: Mr. Powell

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than their original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPSs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologize button, then the reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFS. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.
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