Author Topic: I hate cats!  (Read 2864 times)

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Offline djones520

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I hate cats!
« on: June 25, 2009, 04:44:04 AM »
Got my wife a cat while she was at her Grandfathers funeral, to help make her feel better when she got home.

Wost. Mistake. Ever.

The latest in the long string of evilness that this cat has committed to me was a vicious clawing to my arm.  4 deep cuts running down my arm 10 minutes before I have to go to work.  A week later the last (and deepest) cut has nearly healed.  Still scabbed up, but nearly good to go.  So the cat comes up and lays down next to me, and starts sniffing my arm where she had clawed me.  I'm thinking "maybe she'll be like a dog, and lick the wounded area."  Nope...  THE ****ING THING BITES THE ******* CUT!!!!

So...  anyone want a cat?
"Chuck Norris once had sex in an 18 wheeler. Some of his semen dripped onto the engine. We now call that truck Optimus Prime."

Offline thundley4

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2009, 04:49:26 AM »
I hear that there is a good home for cats up in the sandhills of Nebraska.  :evillaugh:

Offline Wayne

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2009, 06:43:39 AM »
   No Chinese restaurants around..? :drool:

Offline franksolich

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2009, 06:47:28 AM »
Your mistake, djones, was getting a cat when you currently have a toddler and a dog.

And I don't imagine your quarters, inside or outside, are, uh, spacious.

You wanted to do something for the wife, but perhaps a dozen roses would be better.

I suspect probably it's just a good idea to pack the cat off to the Humane Society for adoption by someone with different circumstances, even if your wife by now is attached to it.

If both owner and cat are miserable, probably the cat should be sent to another home.  I suspect the cat's about as miserable as you are, about the situation.

I'm not a cat person, but why the cats are here is simply because the real-estate is more than enough for everyone to have his own "space," both indoors and outdoors.

apres moi, le deluge

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Offline djones520

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2009, 06:50:20 AM »
Oh there's plenty of room for the cat Frank.  We've got a 4 bedroom 2 floor house.  She has more run of the house then the dog does.

The thing is just evil.  Plain and simple.  She has every luxury in the world, and still seems to delight in causing me pain.  She doesn't do it to my wife, or my kid.  Just me.
"Chuck Norris once had sex in an 18 wheeler. Some of his semen dripped onto the engine. We now call that truck Optimus Prime."

Offline jtyangel

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2009, 07:28:04 AM »
I'd get rid of the cat. We have a stray that has 'adopted' us. He doesn't get to come in yet(we have a dog who is workign on training around him and he needs to be fixed first), but he loyally stays close to our house. He is a big old lover and rolls on his back when we are around. I've had bad experiences like yours and sometimes I think it is just finding the right animal--particularly with cats whose background is a bit more sketchy and harder to predict their personality initially then dogs. I could not have picked a better cat if I was looking. This is the thing that's always made me leary of cats because you really just don't ever know what you are going to get where I can more adequately gage a dog when it is an older puppy as to how it will become based on breed and raising. Cats, not as much. Temperment seems to rule the day along with how long and whether they were ferel to begin with.

Offline StantheTaxMan

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2009, 07:36:15 AM »
We've got 2-and 2 more when my daughter comes home.  I'm a dog-person, but I, begrudgingly, have to admit they are all pretty cool.  Except Clyde(one of my daughters).  I rubbed his paw and he freakin' NAILED me.  My daughter said, "Oh, yeah.  He doesn't like his paws rubbed!"
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Offline Chris_

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2009, 11:22:09 AM »
Cats are liberals.  The only thing they're good for is "warm & fuzzy".  They must be provided for and cleaned up after.  They never request anything of you...it's always a demand.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline thundley4

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2009, 11:38:26 AM »
Cats are liberals.  The only thing they're good for is "warm & fuzzy".  They must be provided for and cleaned up after.  They never request anything of you...it's always a demand.

I think you're right. These cats like getting "stoned" on catnip.
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Offline debk

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2009, 12:19:15 PM »
She bit you because she wanted you to pet her.

She also knows you don't like her, so she's getting back at you.

Give her a head pet when she comes around you, don't try to hold her...she may be afraid of being held, and don't yell at her.
Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

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Offline djones520

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2009, 12:22:16 PM »
She bit you because she wanted you to pet her.

She also knows you don't like her, so she's getting back at you.

Give her a head pet when she comes around you, don't try to hold her...she may be afraid of being held, and don't yell at her.

She also gets more attention from me then anyone else in the family.  She's an attention whore.  She likes being held.  And she didn't want me to pet her, because I already was.  She was just being malicious.
"Chuck Norris once had sex in an 18 wheeler. Some of his semen dripped onto the engine. We now call that truck Optimus Prime."

Offline RobJohnson

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2009, 02:52:33 PM »
I hear that there is a good home for cats up in the sandhills of Nebraska.  :evillaugh:


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Offline Hawkgirl

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2009, 04:59:44 PM »
I have 2 kitties and I love them both dearly...one is a big pile of mush, the other is an attack cat...but so fun to torment. :evillaugh:

Offline MrsSmith

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2009, 05:09:27 PM »
She also gets more attention from me then anyone else in the family.  She's an attention whore.  She likes being held.  And she didn't want me to pet her, because I already was.  She was just being malicious.
When baby kittens are "bad," the momma cat will bop them on the forehead with her paw (no claws.)  This can be imitated by humans, using only the tip of 1 or 2 fingers, and not done to cause pain...but it should cause a "startle" reaction when done correctly.  When Cat starts to see you as a surrogate mom, cat will become more respectful.  This doesn't work for behaviors like jumping on the counters in the kitchen or messing outside the litter box, but should be perfect for the behaviors you describe.

Just FYI, I once saw our old momma cat walk up to 2 of her grown sons - and I'm talking 2 or 3 years old - and bop both of them...totally like a cat-ninja.  Both ran.  I never saw them fight again.  :-)
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Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2009, 07:45:35 PM »
Got my wife a cat while she was at her Grandfathers funeral, to help make her feel better when she got home.

Wost. Mistake. Ever.

The latest in the long string of evilness that this cat has committed to me was a vicious clawing to my arm.  4 deep cuts running down my arm 10 minutes before I have to go to work.  A week later the last (and deepest) cut has nearly healed.  Still scabbed up, but nearly good to go.  So the cat comes up and lays down next to me, and starts sniffing my arm where she had clawed me.  I'm thinking "maybe she'll be like a dog, and lick the wounded area."  Nope...  THE ****ING THING BITES THE ******* CUT!!!!

So...  anyone want a cat?
BS for complaining about a BS from a kitty.  It's probably very cute.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #15 on: June 26, 2009, 12:51:12 AM »
There is a Chinese joint across the street from my karate school. One night some of us went to dinner, we came back to the school after and were standing around yapping when IT happened. A guy walked out of the Chinese joint with an empty cat carrier in each hand...
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline thundley4

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2009, 12:00:08 PM »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YdiptluUOQ[/youtube]
Cat for adoption, any takers?  :popcorn:

Offline Chris_

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #17 on: June 26, 2009, 12:10:27 PM »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YdiptluUOQ[/youtube]
Cat for adoption, any takers?  :popcorn:
That dog is a wuss.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Wineslob

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Re: I hate cats!
« Reply #18 on: June 26, 2009, 02:48:33 PM »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YdiptluUOQ[/youtube]
Cat for adoption, any takers?  :popcorn:


Lolz, Djones better watch out.
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