Teen daughters are a pain in the ASS

[Chris_]

So much so she posted it twice.

Where are the cruise pics ?   


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8835979


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5811847

The second link was moved.

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8835979

Oh my.

I think someone thwarted the greenbriar primitive, who had put this in General Discussion, where the primitives want to be seen.  A moderator moved it to the lesser-trafficked Lounge.

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:06 PM
Original message
 
Teen daughters are a pain in the ASS...she graduated two weeks ago from HS with honors one full year early.

I am so very proud of her and have dedicated the last 17 years of my life to making sure she was happy and had all I could give her

now she treats me as if I am pond scum

and Much of me wants her to find an appartment and MOVE the frick out

grr

am I just horrible?

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #2
 
8. please tell me that it will be soon

she doesnt' speak to me, she stays in her room unless she is talking to her dad or getting food.

She just left and didnt' even say anything

she looks at me as if she wishes I were dead

and all teh while it is her dad, my hubby who I had protected her from all this time. Dont' get me wrong...he is a good man, but sometimes speaks before he thinks and is kind of gruff with words...he doesnt' mince them...

I have always been the go between...maybe I shouldn't have been

but I thought I was doing what was best to keep peace between both daddy and daughter

but it hasn't gotten me anywhere

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:20 PM
Response to Reply #21
 
25. for sure

I am going to let her deal with what ever shit falls in her lap

and not play the balancer anymore

she can deal with what ever...she doesnt' need me

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #43

46. she and one of her girl friends wants to drive to Florida and stay at a beach place

I said absolutely not you will not DRIVE from Kansas to Florida...it is unsafe for two teen girls to drive that far in vehicles that are questionable

I am not opposed to her going somewhere, but she could fly safer and cheaper and told her so

that was a month ago...

maybe that is why she is angry with me?

gee I am so horrible looking out for her safety

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:54 PM
Response to Reply #51

54. yes, she is responsible...but no way am I willing to let her drive 

this girl hasn't even really taken the interstate ever she can not navigate from Kansas to Florida

and she knows we would help her fly there

and it would allow her more time if she flew and not drove...

I fail to see the problem

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:13 PM
Response to Reply #9
 
14. she had a scholarship 4 grad a year to attend the local college

and live in the dorm for Engineering but the math has scared her off

she chose instead to live at home, attend a jr college and persue nursing which I think is great...but I would like to see her live in a dorm

I am tired of her shit

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #11

18. I thought we had a great relationship

until this last week

I only speak of teen daughters as that is all I know. I was only blessed with the one

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #30
 
42. that is probably close to the truth

and the last "issue" I remember us having was me harping on her for needing to send out thank you cards from her graduation

I am going to just let her sit on them if she sends them she does

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:18 PM
Response to Reply #17
 
20. she has a job

she works every night this week

I am glad for that

I think she is the most awesome person in the world, I love her tremendusly but I don't know why she is so angry at me or with me or what ever

I don't deserve it.

I understand the growing pains and wanting independence...I actually left home the day after I graduated...(bad circumstance) and it made me grow up

but I hated my mom and knew she hated me...

I spent her whole life making sure she wouldn't think the same way I did and it seems she feels that way anyway

The buzzy one injects some humor:

Buzz Clik (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:19 PM
Response to Original message
 
23. Young women go sub-human at about 14 and don't re-emerge until about 19. 

You've got two more years.

omega minimo  (1000+ posts)        Tue Jun-09-09 03:24 PM
Response to Reply #23
 
33. nice. "sub-human." must be from all that support/guidance the likes of you provide.

Buzz Clik (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:43 PM
Response to Reply #33

47. Have you notice what forum this is in?

Did you bother to read the title of this thread?

Get your thumb out of your bung ... or your mouth ... or both.

Pathetic. You stand in judgment of someone you don't know. Talk about subhuman. 

Then it all gets back on track:

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:49 PM
Response to Reply #48
 
50. yes she has a job, yes she has chores

and she pretty much pays for all her wants/needs

daddy still pays car insurance and cell phone while she is in college

but she rarely asks us for money

she is pretty self sufficient

[AllosaursRus]

Sounds more to me that momma wants to control her. Hey GreenBush, how 'bout renting her a car for the trip to Florida? Hell I think it would be a great adventure! Unless of course you heven't done your job educating her on the evils of the world, like not picking up hitchikers or not calling someone to help if you break down. Hell I did stuff like that before I ever got out of high school!

[USA4ME]

So the daughter's a pain, huh?  I can bet from where she got the sour attitude and win.  (Hint: Mom)

.

[jtyangel]

I don't know...I don't see anything wrong with disallowing a 17 year old girl from going down to a spring break hub with another teenage girl. This girl grew up in Kansas and wants to go down to Florida? And she's 17? MMM...I see no problem with being 'controlling' in this situation and in addition to it she sounds like an ungrateful little girl(probably from being propped up as a little princess all her life by mom--and dad)
And greenbriar being the emotional liberal that she is is so dismayed her 17 year old is ignoring her because she put her foot down. Welcome to parenting, greenbriar, perhaps if you put your foot down more often you wouldn't have been so shocked by the reaction. People like greenbriar couldn't handle my life where there is no money for fancy cruises and rings and where in addition to a moody 'tween' you get to raise a child that will NEVER talk to you that is autistic and a 5 year old that is all boy. It's amazing this woman thinks she's got it so bad with the whole summer off, jaunting off on cruises, and having a nearly adult daughter who got her knickers in a twist because mom said no...spare me! lol

[mamacags]

Wasn't this the daughter that wanted to enlist in ROTC or something and mommy freaked out?  My kids already know the rules.  18 and out unless they are full time in school getting above C average.  They can decide if they want to go into the military or to work but I won't be paying their bills.

[AllosaursRus]

I don't know...I don't see anything wrong with disallowing a 17 year old girl from going down to a spring break hub with another teenage girl. This girl grew up in Kansas and wants to go down to Florida? And she's 17? MMM...I see no problem with being 'controlling' in this situation and in addition to it she sounds like an ungrateful little girl(probably from being propped up as a little princess all her life by mom--and dad)
And greenbriar being the emotional liberal that she is is so dismayed her 17 year old is ignoring her because she put her foot down. Welcome to parenting, greenbriar, perhaps if you put your foot down more often you wouldn't have been so shocked by the reaction. People like greenbriar couldn't handle my life where there is no money for fancy cruises and rings and where in addition to a moody 'tween' you get to raise a child that will NEVER talk to you that is autistic and a 5 year old that is all boy. It's amazing this woman thinks she's got it so bad with the whole summer off, jaunting off on cruises, and having a nearly adult daughter who got her knickers in a twist because mom said no...spare me! lol

Ooops, sorry, I missed the part about being 17! I took for granted she was of an adult age still living at home. 17? No frikkin' way!

[thundley4]

Was the daughter allowed to go on the recent cruise?  Maybe mom stole some cabana boy from the daughter. (yeah, I had trouble typing that without laughing)

[LC EFA]

greenbriar  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-09-09 03:06 PM
Original message
 
Teen daughters are a pain in the ASS...she graduated two weeks ago from HS with honors one full year early.

I am so very proud of her and have dedicated the last 17 years of my life to making sure she was happy and had all I could give her

now she treats me as if I am pond scum

and Much of me wants her to find an appartment and MOVE the frick out

grr

am I just horrible?

Mheh. Looks like all that education wasn't a complete waste after all.

[jtyangel]

Ooops, sorry, I missed the part about being 17! I took for granted she was of an adult age still living at home. 17? No frikkin' way!

I though tmaybe you had, sir Allosaur. Didn't think 17 would work for you either. 

[djones520]

Wasn't it her daughter who just enlisted in the military?

[Ree]

Wasn't it her daughter who just enlisted in the military?

I think she wanted to....But "Mommy Dearest" is against it..

[AllosaursRus]

I though maybe you had, sir Allosaur. Didn't think 17 would work for you either. 

Yeah. been there done that! I thank the good Lord mine made it to be 21! 'Cause there were a few times there, that it was definitely in question! LOL

I think ALL teenage girls press you as far as they can. Mine was no different. I chased boys down the street, claw hammer in hand, a coupla times!

She's now 30 with a coupla kids and a man that could easily be my son! Heh, heh.

[BlueStateSaint]

Ah, so much fun to look forward to! 

[whiteguyPI]

According to greenie though dad signed the enlistment papers circumventing mom. DUmmies lie. All the time DUmmies lie.

[DixieBelle]

Greenbriar is full of crap as always.

[JohnnyReb]

Raise a daughter in the liberal way and from it she shall not depart.....in other words, she's going to rebel, back-talk you, do as she pleases, disrespect you and just generally go wild.

Now go back to reading "Debbie Has Two Mommies".

[Celtic Rose]

All teenagers are difficult at some point, but I wonder how Greenbriar's daughter would feel if she knew her mother was calling her a pain in the ass on a message board, over the silent treatment    Her daughter is employed, has graduated from high school, is college bound, and it sounds like overall she is a good kid.  One little moment of being difficult, and Greenbriar is talking about how she wishes she would live in the dorms, how she is tired of her shit, etc. 

[lastparker]

All teenagers are difficult at some point, but I wonder how Greenbriar's daughter would feel if she knew her mother was calling her a pain in the ass on a message board, over the silent treatment    Her daughter is employed, has graduated from high school, is college bound, and it sounds like overall she is a good kid.  One little moment of being difficult, and Greenbriar is talking about how she wishes she would live in the dorms, how she is tired of her shit, etc. 

No kidding!  greenie doesn't know how good she has it.  I started my sub-human phase around 13 and didn't fully emerge until after 18.  And again I ask of a greenbriar thread:  wasn't it she who was inquiring if the freebies are any good from the food pantry?  Perhaps that is how she saved enough for another cruise, and the ability to "help" buy a plane ticket to Florida.

[jtyangel]

Raise a daughter in the liberal way and from it she shall not depart.....in other words, she's going to rebel, back-talk you, do as she pleases, disrespect you and just generally go wild.

Now go back to reading "Debbie Has Two Mommies".

I'm afraid all that has nothing to do with being a liberal and everythign to do with being a teenage girl. I would bet almost every woman on this board is guilty of all,some, or at least one of those things you described during their teenage 'career'. 

Girls are particular moody little doodieheads during those teen years.

But as others have said, pays to look at the kid behind the hormonal assault and see what you have as the nuts and bolts there. Lot's of really good young women under the hormonal craziness. My dad sounds a lot like how greenbriar acts: ready to throw the kid away over one little incident. I've found it has a whole lot to do with the parent's own insecurities and them wanting to control every move the child makes and not establishing appropriate boundaries, in addition to not really understanding perspective when a child does something wrong ie a messy room is not a reason to kick a kid out and doesn't mean they are heading for jail nor does the silent treatment mean you should send them packing for the dorms.

[The Village Idiot]

50. yes she has a job, yes she has chores

and she pretty much pays for all her wants/needs

daddy still pays car insurance and cell phone while she is in college

but she rarely asks us for money

she is pretty self sufficient

her daughter is a budding conservative??

[VivisMom]

I saw this ALL the time when I was teaching. The girls would come to me and complain about their moms, how much they hated them and hated living at home and couldn't wait until they went to college.

Does greenie not have any friends with teenage daughters? I mean, this behavior is not uncommon for 17 year olds, especially girls toward their mothers. How does she not KNOW that this is absolutely normal?

That being said: OMG, I am so not looking forward to this with my girl. I'm thinking boarding school may be in order.

[jtyangel]

I saw this ALL the time when I was teaching. The girls would come to me and complain about their moms, how much they hated them and hated living at home and couldn't wait until they went to college.

Does greenie not have any friends with teenage daughters? I mean, this behavior is not uncommon for 17 year olds, especially girls toward their mothers. How does she not KNOW that this is absolutely normal?

That being said: OMG, I am so not looking forward to this with my girl. I'm thinking boarding school may be in order.

it's is heartbreaking, but I read that it is common behavior particularly with mothers because girls are trying desperately to forge an identity that is seperate and distinct from their mothers. Mom gets the most heat because she is another female. From what I can tell, most girls get over this by their early 20's and their mothers become one of their closest friends. There is a reward at some point if one can just bear this out until they are past this developmental stage. Not looking forward to it myself and starting to see glimpses of it in the tween years.

[VivisMom]

I know I definitely was a bitch to my mom when I was 17 or 18...and looking back on it, I feel awful about it. But my mom always knew that this was a normal phase of development, and by the time I was 21 or so she was my best friend. It's awful that it has to be so hard (and I am dreading it with my own daughter!) but I have seen enough women go through it with their daughters, so I know it's definitely survivable.

I used to tell my female students this when they'd go off on how much they hated their moms...it's something everyone goes through, it's normal, and in five or six years you won't feel this way.

[Flame]

Heh...I'm probably jinxing it by saying this, but my teenage daughter and I get along pretty darn well.  Sure, she has her moments, but really, who doesn't?