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Author Topic: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?  (Read 2754 times)

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Offline bijou

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Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« on: May 20, 2009, 12:43:45 PM »
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Meet Brittany Gariepy. The Florida woman was departing a 7-Eleven last night when a store clerk noticed a suspicious bulge in the front of the 20-year-old's pants. Concerned that Gariepy may have been shoplifting, convenience store employees contacted a cop, who approached Gariepy in the parking lot. Though she initially denied swiping anything, Gariepy was confronted with evidence spotted inside her vehicle: an empty wrapper for a $1.19 Big Mama pickled sausage. According to a Hernando County Sheriff's Office report, the lump that was "clearly visible inside [Gariepy's] pants" was a 2.4 ounce pork product that she apparently consumed post-theft. ...
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That will be a meaty case for a young prosecutor to get his teeth into.
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2009, 12:49:45 PM »
Mugshot goodness. :)



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Offline Baruch Menachem

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2009, 01:22:40 PM »
She was just so glad to see the sales clerk
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2009, 01:25:43 PM »
Also evident, but not mentioned out of respect for propriety, was the canned Coke she struck down the back of her panties.
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2009, 01:36:35 PM »
One of the wurst decisions she could have made.
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Offline bijou

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2009, 01:40:54 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on May 20, 2009, 01:36:35 PM
One of the wurst decisions she could have made.
Not a surprise, she looks like a real brat in that mugshot.
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Offline Wineslob

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2009, 02:58:33 PM »
I've got a helluva lot more than 2.4 oz of pork in my pants.......   :-)
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"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.

Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2009, 03:20:55 PM »
Quote from: Wineslob on May 21, 2009, 02:58:33 PM
I've got a helluva lot more than 2.4 oz of pork in my pants.......   :-)

You can lose a few pounds if you put your mind to it.
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Offline Wineslob

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2009, 04:33:21 PM »
My wife would beg to differ.    :tongue:
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“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

The unobtainable is unknown at Zombo.com



"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.

Offline Chris_

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2009, 05:06:19 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on May 20, 2009, 01:36:35 PM
One of the wurst decisions she could have made.
I never sausage lousy puns.   :-)
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2009, 05:09:21 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on May 21, 2009, 05:06:19 PM
I never sausage lousy puns.   :-)

Do you have a link?
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2009, 05:11:17 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on May 21, 2009, 05:09:21 PM
Do you have a link?
Wow, that was patty quick! 
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If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #12 on: May 21, 2009, 05:30:11 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on May 21, 2009, 05:11:17 PM
Wow, that was patty quick! 

I'm pretty lean.
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #13 on: May 21, 2009, 05:50:43 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on May 21, 2009, 05:30:11 PM
I'm pretty lean.

We have a Vienna !!
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Offline BEG

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #14 on: May 21, 2009, 05:51:08 PM »
Pickled sausage? :puke:
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #15 on: May 21, 2009, 06:00:48 PM »
Quote from: BEG on May 21, 2009, 05:51:08 PM
Pickled sausage? :puke:

Nah, that's just the sage.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?
« Reply #16 on: May 22, 2009, 06:27:59 AM »
Quote from: BEG on May 21, 2009, 05:51:08 PM
Pickled sausage? :puke:
Yeah, that's a real weiner of a recipe.   :-)
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If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.
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