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Author Topic: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid  (Read 2060 times)

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Offline bijou

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Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« on: May 13, 2009, 11:51:30 AM »
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A prisoner escaped from jail after jamming his penis in his fly so he could be taken to hospital where he could flee.

Kelly Edney was rushed to hospital after purposely plunging his zipper into his genitals, say police.

Once at Dartmoor Hospital in Devon he asked to go to the toilet where he slipped out of his poorly-fitted handcuffs and out of the window to temporary freedom.

Unfortunately he switched straight back into his criminal ways by assaulting a woman, taking her car and then being pursued in a high-speed chase by police. ...

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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2009, 12:25:22 PM »
What has a hundred teeth and holds back a monster?
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2009, 01:17:54 PM »
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If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline bijou

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Re: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2009, 01:44:57 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on May 13, 2009, 01:17:54 PM
His idea just didn't fly, did it?

Looks like an open and shut case of stupidity.
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2009, 01:53:08 PM »
I can think of other less painful ways of getting a trip to the hospital than this.  Obviously this guy was only thinking with his smaller head. What a jerk.
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2009, 02:07:27 PM »
Oh, damn, man!  You got the franks AND the beans?
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Offline THA HOUSTON PIMP IS IN DA HOUZ!

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Re: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2009, 03:25:41 PM »
What's his DU name?
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2009, 05:45:34 PM »
Quote from: bijou on May 13, 2009, 01:44:57 PM
Looks like an open and shut case of stupidity.
They seem to have made quite a flap about it.
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If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Chris_

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Re: Convict jammed penis in zipper in escape bid
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2009, 05:46:49 PM »
Quote from: thundley4 on May 13, 2009, 01:53:08 PM
I can think of other less painful ways of getting a trip to the hospital than this.  Obviously this guy was only thinking with his smaller head. What a jerk.
He was just tired of living in a penile institution.
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If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.
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