forked primitive has friend involved with domineering woman

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8733916

Oh my.

One wonders if the woman might be the sparkling husband primitive's wife's sister.

Forkboy  (1000+ posts)      Thu Apr-30-09 01:53 AM
Original message
 
Life can be pretty ****ed up.

And for once I'm not talking about my own, whose ****edupedness is already a matter of record.

I've had a best friend since I was about 11 years old. We hung out all the time, shared an apartment...twice, etc. He's basically my brother from another mother. He's the nicest guy you could ever meet, and he'd literally give you the shirt off his back to help someone.

Anyways, around 95 he got involved in a horrible relationship with a domineering woman who you would hate with as much a passion as I do. My friend tried to break up with her once...it ended up getting him his ass kicked by her friends, all his fingers broken, his shit stolen...all on her orders. She had a son (her 6th child by 5 fathers), supposedly by him, but she refused a DNA test, and my friend was too timid and nice to push for one, and so he went along and paid child support anyways, a decision I can't really criticize him for despite not knowing if it's his.

She used his money to get her nails done every week (at $60 a pop), to buy herself Chinese food while her kids ate mac and cheese, buy herself fancy clothes while her kids wear rags, etc. She's quite possibly the biggest cancer of a human being I've ever met. He used to come over on Sundays to watch football with me, his 3 hours of freedom per week, and she would call every 10 minutes to make sure he was still there and not cheating on her (something he would never have done with anyone). She was so jealous she actually accused him of having an affair with me at one point.

Needless to say, all this took it's toll on my friend. He started drinking heavily, abusing medications, etc. Never missing a day of work, mind you, even after breaking his ankle on my front steps. He just kept going, slowly turning into a robot before my eyes. His life just kept swirling lower and lower. Two years ago he got drunk while sitting on the railroad tracks and got hit by a train, severing his left leg above the knee. As my other friend said, it was shocking but not surprising. We had all joked about him getting hit by a train as he liked to drink on the tracks before work. It was a lot of yuks until it actually happened.

We found out by reading about it in the paper the next day. He had to be put into an induced coma just to detox him. My other friend and I wanted to visit, to call, anything, but his family stepped in and wouldn't let anyone talk to him or see him while he was in the hospital. It wasn't because they didn't like us (his father and I know each other well, and we've all gone to ballgames together), but they didn't want his girlfriend to ever get near him again and weren't taking any chances.

I called the hospital one day to see how he was and they said he had been discharged. We had no information on where he went, or with who. We figured his parents might have taken him back to Reno where they live, which we hoped was the case. But we couldn't find out anything. We had no way to get ahold of anyone who could tell us anything. We even thought about hiring a private investigator. We honestly never thought we'd ever hear from him again.

Yesterday I got a letter from a nurse in Worcester, Ma. She said she was taking care of my friend now, who is a paraplegic now and also has no use in one hand. His family never visits him and he spends all his time alone (he has sisters in Mass). The nurse had to write the letter for him. When I called she was crying because she wants him to see someone who actually gives a shit, and he talks about me and my other friend all the time.

So Saturday my friend and I are heading out to see him, and hopefully we can do so on a fairly regular basis. We'd like to bring him some music and a walkman, maybe some magazines and some DVDs if he has a way to watch them (he's into the same wacky Britcoms I am..Red Dwarf, Blackadder, etc). I fully expect a heavy emotional visit, and I'm both thrilled and terrified about it. I wish I could take care of him myself, but that's simply not an option (the least of the problems would be that you need to climb two flights of stairs just to get from the street to the house itself). I can't believe his family isn't visiting him. That's left me stunned and saddened beyond words. My friend is too good of a person to deserve that.

Anyways, not really sure why I'm posting this. I guess it's just a lot on my mind, and I'm really anxious about this and need to make some kind of sense of it all, and writing helps me do that.

Anyone who made it this far, thanks for reading, and send my buddy some good thoughts if you can.

Good thoughts for the pal, forked primitive.

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Thu Apr-30-09 03:30 AM
Response to Original message
 
9. Life can be pretty ****ed up.

Doug's ex-wife would know.

[JohnnyReb]

I feel for his DUmmie friend.....but not too much. He hung with a female democrat voter that always voted in her own self interest ..... in everyway, everyday.

[Ralph Wiggum]

We had all joked about him getting hit by a train as he liked to drink on the tracks before work.

Why would you DUmmies not get him help just a bit sooner?  Where was the compassion?  Basically, you enabled him for years.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

I feel for his DUmmie friend.....but not too much. He hung with a female democrat voter that always voted in her own self interest ..... in everyway, everyday.

I dunno JR...i'm gonna go out on a limb and say this guy is a *****! Probably raised by a very domineering mother,who taught him to be submissive to women as a show of faux respect! In other words...mom was a follower of Gloria!

[DumbAss Tanker]

It sounds like there is somewhat more to this story, the element of the family not wanting their son's supposedly-lifelong-friend to see him either indicates that a very great deal has gone unsaid here. 

[franksolich]

.....a very great deal has gone unsaid here.

Yep, the standard primitive habit.

[jtyangel]

Best wishes to his friend.

As an aside, the DUmmie does not see how his friends life is an eerie metaphor to what a leach like his ex-girlfriend can do the US given enough leeway to indulge their own greed and self-interest. At what point will this great country be a drunk hopeless charity case sitting down by the tracks waiting for the train to barrel into it and send it into complete and utter dysfunction.

There are a lot like this guy's ex-girl and if they aren't sucking the life out of a guy, they are sucking the life out of a community and their country.

[USA4ME]

Oh goody.  Fartboy's friend can sit around and listen to tales about how PNAC is out to take over the world.  What a lucky guy.

.

[Vagabond]

I have a friend who got into a relationship like this.  Her girlfriend was just straight bad news, she could have liked guys and she still would have been bad news.  Her girlfriend physically and emotionally abused her, and cut her off from most of her family and friends at one time.  I can't tell you how glad I was when my friend broke it off.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Oh goody.  Fartboy's friend can sit around and listen to tales about how PNAC is out to take over the world.  What a lucky guy.

.

..And the poor bastard can't even run away!

 

[delilahmused]

It sounds like there is somewhat more to this story, the element of the family not wanting their son's supposedly-lifelong-friend to see him either indicates that a very great deal has gone unsaid here. 

That's exactly what I thought...why wouldn't his family just give permission for his best friend he's known since childhood visit? Put him on the approved visitor list or something.

But if he was beat up before (if the beating was as bad as the DUmmie claims) you'd think he would've gone to an emergency room. One would think he'd need to have those fingers splinted or something. Why not have them document the beating and then press charges? What kind of woman has a gang of men willing to kneecap people she's pissed at? Can she suck the chrome off a Cadillac or something?

My god, there are children involved. And one of them is supposedly train wreck guys? Is this man so weak he's unwilling to protect innocent children from this woman? How about at least making an anonymous call to Child Protective Services. If the friend of the utensil is too much of a *****, why didn't the utensil call? Malnourished children in rags is kind of why those agencies exist. Aren't these the people who are supposed to care about the most vulnerable especially when the mother didn't have the good sense to abort them? Besides it would keep a government agency busy, thus saving a government job. If vulnerable children aren't incentive enough how about vulnerable government employees always living on the edge of budget cuts?

I mean, too bad about the train, but I have train tracks right by my house...I can get close enough to touch it as it goes by. I can read the graffiti on the cars from my kitchen window. Even my guineas know to stay away from the tracks when a train is coming and they're amazingly stupid...I'm talking DUmmie stupid. Like calling for each other when they're facing opposite directions because they're too dense to turn around and see if the other ones are still there.

Am I supposed to feel sorry for a guy who allows himself to be beat up and doesn't press charges? A guy who drinks on train tracks...that's a special kind of stupid right there? Am I supposed to have compassion for people who look the other way when children are being neglected and abused? Sorry, everyone in this situation, except those children, have the power to change things.

Cindie

[The Village Idiot]

either this woman and her gang are charged or this did not happen that way

[BlueStateSaint]

I Thank God Almighty that my wife isn't even remotely like this.  If a female friend of mine (yes, I have them--cute ones, too) or a friend of my wife were to come to us and seek our protection, my old friends Samuel Colt and Gaston Glock would be asked to help me.  And, my friends Smith & Wesson would help out.  NY has a little codicil in Section 36 of the Penal Code (sefl-defense) which allows one to use deadly force on another, even if the first person is not being attacked, to stop a felony (such as rape, robbery, or murder).

Said provision would be invoked if the situation listed in the first two lines were in effect.  And, if someone was after my daughter, well, . . . let's just say that it wouldn't be pretty.  I'd be hard-put to not decapitate the individual.

[Duke Nukum]

Anyways, around 95 he got involved in a horrible relationship with a domineering woman who you would hate with as much a passion as I do. My friend tried to break up with her once...it ended up getting him his ass kicked by her friends, all his fingers broken, his shit stolen...all on her orders. She had a son (her 6th child by 5 fathers), supposedly by him, but she refused a DNA test, and my friend was too timid and nice to push for one, and so he went along and paid child support anyways, a decision I can't really criticize him for despite not knowing if it's his.

She used his money to get her nails done every week (at $60 a pop), to buy herself Chinese food while her kids ate mac and cheese, buy herself fancy clothes while her kids wear rags, etc. She's quite possibly the biggest cancer of a human being I've ever met. He used to come over on Sundays to watch football with me, his 3 hours of freedom per week, and she would call every 10 minutes to make sure he was still there and not cheating on her (something he would never have done with anyone). She was so jealous she actually accused him of having an affair with me at one point.

She sounds like any given liberal and he sounds like many dis-spirited taxpayers.  Just try breaking up with the liberal tax code and see what happens.  Even people like Hannity over-pay their taxes.