Author Topic: Poll question: Does a child need both a mother and a father in his/her life?  (Read 4007 times)

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Offline thundley4

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NorthernSpy   (1000+ posts)             Thu Apr-23-09 10:21 AM
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Poll question: Does a child need both a mother and a father in his/her life?
   
This came up in a discussion I had recently (in real life, not at DU).

So, what do you think? Are mothering and fathering different things? Do they serve different purposes? Does a child have a need for both a mother and a father to be involved in his/her life? Why, or why not?
Poll result (83 votes)
YES, a child needs to have both a mother and a father in his/her life.    (25 votes, 30%)   Vote
NO, a child does not need to have both a mother and a father in his/her life.    (58 votes, 70%)   Vote

 
  FlameBait?

It must be time to purge the Island.

Offline happy1ga

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 imdjh (547 posts)      Thu Apr-23-09 10:37 AM
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10. It's a trick question
 Define need. There are lots of things a child doesn't need to survive or even thrive. There are lots of things which enhance a child's experience. But it's a trick question because "in his life" is such a broad term both in the question posed and in real life. It's rather like the term "traditional marriage".

The religious right likes claim that "studies show" a married two parent heterosexual household to be optimum for raising kids, when what they mean is that the optimum marriedheteroparent household is optimum for raising kids. But even then we have to define optimum. By their standards, being raised in an orthodox Muslim home would be optimum, NO THANK YOU. I would rather have been raised with my six half siblings by different fathers by a single mother in Sedona eating marigolds and waiting for the cosmos to awaken us.
 

So THAT'S what is wrong with you!
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Offline Lord Undies

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It is a Little Goon pattern to tie everything decent and normal to religion, a connection which automatically renders the decent and normal indecent and abnormal in their little upside down world of Satan's Laws and Logic.

Since a man and a woman coming together as one to form the basis for a family is described in The Holy Bible, it is automatic that such a concept must be demeaned and degraded in order to demean and degrade religion.  That's how it is, regardless of human nature, honest psychological studies, or the proof right in front of their eyes.   

Offline delilahmused

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 imdjh (547 posts)      Thu Apr-23-09 10:37 AM
Response to Original message
10. It's a trick question
 Define need. There are lots of things a child doesn't need to survive or even thrive. There are lots of things which enhance a child's experience. But it's a trick question because "in his life" is such a broad term both in the question posed and in real life. It's rather like the term "traditional marriage".

The religious right likes claim that "studies show" a married two parent heterosexual household to be optimum for raising kids, when what they mean is that the optimum marriedheteroparent household is optimum for raising kids. But even then we have to define optimum. By their standards, being raised in an orthodox Muslim home would be optimum, NO THANK YOU. I would rather have been raised with my six half siblings by different fathers by a single mother in Sedona eating marigolds and waiting for the cosmos to awaken us.

The religious right isn't conducting those studies...liberal sociologists are. Case in point:Kids better off in two-parent families. Pay particular attention to who sponsored the study: "Children from two-parent families are better off emotionally, socially and economically, according to a review of marriage research released Tuesday in The Future of Children, a journal published jointly by the non-partisan Brookings Institution and Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School." Try again, DUmmies. Of course, children will do best regardless of how many parents they have or who mommy and daddy sleep with if they aren't aborted in the first place.

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Offline Flame

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It's not a question that can be answered with Yes or No, really.  I was raised without a dad, and we all turned out (relatively  :tongue:) OK.   But the difference is that we knew our dad had died, not bailed on us and our mom.   And my mom didn't have a steady steam of boyfriends parading through our lives, either.   Moms and Dads are important, as long as both are decent parents.  I think kids are better off with NO contact if the parent is a loser.

Offline Lord Undies

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It's not a question that can be answered with Yes or No, really.  I was raised without a dad, and we all turned out (relatively  :tongue:) OK.   But the difference is that we knew our dad had died, not bailed on us and our mom.   And my mom didn't have a steady steam of boyfriends parading through our lives, either.   Moms and Dads are important, as long as both are decent parents.  I think kids are better off with NO contact if the parent is a loser.

All that is true, and we will forever have unavoidable circumstances, but those do not negate what is ideal, an ideal we should work towards instead of demeaning, like the Little Goons do, just because it can't be everyones reality.

Offline The Village Idiot

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I think a study once said that a boy needs a mother and a girl needs a father. kinda strange but I guess it gives them a model
of what the other sex is supposed to be. If the parents are decent anyways.

Offline Servonaut

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I know how the DUmmies like nature, here is an article from the NYT's

http://www.nytimes.com/1996/12/28/world/troublemakers-teen-agers-tusked.html?sec=&spon=&pagewanted=print

 
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December 28, 1996
Troublemakers: Teen-agers, Tusked
By SUZANNE DALEY

The call came over the radio as Gus van Dyk was busy exploring the more remote stretches of this 150,000-acre park.

Much as he tried, he could not get his four-wheel-drive vehicle through the brush fast enough. By the time he got to the watering hole, the elephant and the rhinoceros were at peace, each munching in its own style, moving indifferently away from each other.

But the incident would be entered into Mr. van Dyk's files at ranger headquarters, where he is the monitoring officer. The elephant with the large notch on his right ear, known as Jace (for Just Another Confused Elephant), had been seen by a ranger resting his trunk on the back of a white rhinoceros. Such close contact, even though it was not overtly aggressive, was enough to give him a rap sheet.

In the last year, 20 of the park's white rhinos -- an endangered species -- have turned up dead. Officials believe at least 10 were killed by elephants who chased the rhinos, knocked them down, knelt on their backs and gored them. Elephants are among the suspects in at least five other cases too, but the bodies had been too scavenged or decomposed to be sure.

The mystery is: which elephants are doing this and why?

Pilanesberg officials believe they are paying the price for their well-meaning but ill-informed early efforts to save some elephants by relocating them.

The elephants in Pilanesberg were all brought here as juveniles, saved from the rifles of gamekeepers culling an elephant overpopulation in one of South Africa's other parks. But the transplanted elephants were left without the complex social structure typical of their species. For several years the Pilanesberg elephants had no mother figures; they still have no father figures.

So how did they correct this ?

By adding Dads

Quote
http://www.amnation.com/vfr/archives/009256.html

Older bull elephants control young males
Rob Slotow, Gus van Dyk, Joyce Poole, Bruce Page & Andre Klocke
Abstract
Orphaned male adolescents go on killing sprees if mature males aren't around.Musth is a state of heightened sexual and aggressive activity in male elephants1, 2. Between 1992 and 1997, young orphaned musth male African elephants (Loxodonta africana) that had been introduced to Pilanesberg, South Africa, killed more than 40 white rhinoceros (Ceratotherium simum). The killing ceased after six older male elephants were introduced from the relatively normal Kruger Park population. The deviant behaviour of the young Pilanesberg males was rectified by the consequent reduction in musth.

It's the same out here in the streets my friends, no matter how much Rosie and Madonna say they are good parents,

You still need a Mom and a Dad.   


 


Offline rich_t

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I think a study once said that a boy needs a mother and a girl needs a father. kinda strange but I guess it gives them a model
of what the other sex is supposed to be. If the parents are decent anyways.

A girl needs a father to keep her boy friends in line.  I made it a point to be cleaning a shotgun every time my baby girl brought a new boy to meet me.

 :evillaugh:
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Offline MrsSmith

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Children can do relatively well in single-parent homes if the single parent works constantly at being both parents.  Unfortunately, most of us can't manage that.  I have no doubt that my first 2 would have been happier and more secure with their father around.  I can't say the same about the next 3, though.  The quality of the parents has to be there, too...

Bottom-line, I am positive that my youngest is the most happy and secure of my 5...and it's because she has a 2 parent family, even though Dad is only a step-dad.

And you know, the DUmmies know beyond any reasonable doubt that kids do best with a loving mother and a loving father.  They just can't accept it because it shoots their selfish world-view to death.
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Offline miskie

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It is a Little Goon pattern to tie everything decent and normal to religion, a connection which automatically renders the decent and normal indecent and abnormal in their little upside down world of Satan's Laws and Logic.

Since a man and a woman coming together as one to form the basis for a family is described in The Holy Bible, it is automatic that such a concept must be demeaned and degraded in order to demean and degrade religion.  That's how it is, regardless of human nature, honest psychological studies, or the proof right in front of their eyes.   

I think half of them figure that by denormalizing (is that even a word ?)  typical behavior surrounding love and sex that they have a better chance of getting laid.

Are humans monogamous by nature ? No. All sorts of history & biological studies prove that point - however, a typical monogamous relationship that leads to raising a family tends to work out better for everyone in the end.

Offline Duke Nukum

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Offline BlueStateSaint

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A girl needs a father to keep her boy friends in line.  I made it a point to be cleaning a shotgun every time my baby girl brought a new boy to meet me.

 :evillaugh:

As I intend to be doing, when my little girl hits that age.
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Offline rich_t

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As I intend to be doing, when my little girl hits that age.

I found that it had a tendancy to get their attention.
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." --Norman Thomas, 1944

Offline BlueStateSaint

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I found that it had a tendancy to get their attention.

I actually want to take prospective boyfriends of my daughter out for an afternoon of shooting.  I figure that my daughter will know how to handle firearms, and any prospective suitor better know as well.  At the end of the shooting session, I'll duplicate what Danny Glover and Mel Gibson did in Lethal Weapon, when Glover's character had a target out and shot it once through the center of the head.  They brought it back in, and Gibson's character put it back out, only to shoot it six times, then reel it in.  When the target came back in, it had two eyes and a four-bullet smiley face on it.

The idea would be to remove the target, then hand it to the potential suitor, saying, "Please be nice to my daughter."  Then, I'd add one of these:   :-)
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline rich_t

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I actually want to take prospective boyfriends of my daughter out for an afternoon of shooting.  I figure that my daughter will know how to handle firearms, and any prospective suitor better know as well.  At the end of the shooting session, I'll duplicate what Danny Glover and Mel Gibson did in Lethal Weapon, when Glover's character had a target out and shot it once through the center of the head.  They brought it back in, and Gibson's character put it back out, only to shoot it six times, then reel it in.  When the target came back in, it had two eyes and a four-bullet smiley face on it.

The idea would be to remove the target, then hand it to the potential suitor, saying, "Please be nice to my daughter."  Then, I'd add one of these:   :-)

That sould indeed make an impression.

 :-)
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." --Norman Thomas, 1944

Offline Chris

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After 45 years of the Great Society and govt-subsidized fatherless children in the black community, this question has been answered in full.  75% illegitimacy rate, 80% incarceration, and 50% dropout rate.  Whites and Latinos are not far behind if they follow the same path.  There should not be any question in any sane person's mind about the answer to this question.
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Offline Chris_

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After 45 years of the Great Society and govt-subsidized fatherless children in the black community, this question has been answered in full.  75% illegitimacy rate, 80% incarceration, and 50% dropout rate.  Whites and Latinos are not far behind if they follow the same path.  There should not be any question in any sane person's mind about the answer to this question.

Amen.....but DUmmies are to stupid to see the connection.
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Offline Chris_

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Men and women are different. These differences mean that men, in general, are better at some things than women and that women, in general, are better at some things than men. This doesn't elevate the man above the woman or the woman above the man. It just means that there are some differences. In my opinion, these differences help the man and woman "cleave" together and "be one flesh". Think of a dovetail joint in woodworking. The difference in the two opposite pieces is what makes the joint strong.

I think these same differences between men and women are also why it is best that a child has both a mother and father in his/her life. The differences between the mother and father helps the child become a more rounded, more complete person.

This is not to say that a child HAS to have a mother and father in his or her life. Just that I think that it BEST to have both.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline djones520

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Oh this was unbelievable...

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cbayer   (1000+ posts)      Thu Apr-23-09 05:11 PM
Response to Original message
145. Locking
 The wording of this OP could be construed as insensitive towards same sex couples who raise children. Had the question been, "Does a child need two parents?", it would have been received differently, but as it stands, it is inflammatory.


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Offline Flame

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Oh this was unbelievable...


Actually, not too unbelievable...in schools now, teachers and school personal are being instructed to not refer to  "your mom or dad" but rather "guardians"...we were even told to refer to the parents as "folks at home" so as to not offend.

Offline djones520

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Actually, not too unbelievable...in schools now, teachers and school personal are being instructed to not refer to  "your mom or dad" but rather "guardians"...we were even told to refer to the parents as "folks at home" so as to not offend.

I've just about given up on my dreams of becoming a teacher, simply because getting a degree in education while actively serving in the military is nearly impossible...  But the more I hear about shit like that, the more I want to try anyways.
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Oh this was unbelievable...


They never seem to find the bottom of their pit

Offline JohnnyReb

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Hillarys' latest book due out soon.

"Same Sex Parenting". ...or...."It Takes a Village of Idiots to Raise a DUmmie"
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They never seem to find the bottom of their pit

True that.

Just when you think they have hit bottom, they keep digging....
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