NanceGreggs (1000+ posts) Fri Apr-17-09 01:03 AM
Tips For Teabaggers
No doubt you have now been convinced, the vast dozens of you, by FOX-News and various and sundry other purveyors of the non-truth, that yesterday’s non-event was an event that rocked the world.
As opposed to those “massive†protests where a handful of liberals got together to show their ignorance and hatred of anything good or American during the Bush administration?
Ergo (oh, for Christ’s sake, Google the word, why don’t you?) you will be planning non-events for the future.
Please consider the following Tips for Teabaggers:
· Change your name. Considering the connotation of teabagging, you might want to – no, uh, nevermind. Stick with teabaggers – it’s just too
Strange. The only places I’ve heard/read referring to teabagging/teabaggers has been the DUmp and the liberal MSM like the Communist News Network (CNN) and the Mighty Shitty National Barrack Channel (MSNBC). Thus far all of the participants that I’ve heard have called the meet-ups “tea partiesâ€.
· Try to find out what is it you are allegedly protesting before you participate. Chances are (being as there are so few of you) you will wind up in front of a TV camera at some point, being asked why you are there. Responses like “duhâ€, “I dunnoâ€, and “beats me†do little to advance your cause – whatever that cause may be.
The only thing in anyway similar to what you’re mentioning that I’ve seen was when the Communist News Network reporter attacked the guy that had the sign saying 0 was a fascist. That guy did indeed appear not to know the definition of fascist. For his sake, let’s look at the definition of fascism...
Main Entry: fascism
Function: noun
Date: 1921
1: often capitalized : a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition
2: a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control <early instances of army fascism and brutality>
Hmmm. 0 and his disciples look like they almost meet every single point except “forcible suppression of oppositionâ€. Oops. I forgot about 0’s bunch telling everyone how dangerous right-wing extremists are. It’s strange how that was released just before the tea parties. By the way, do you know who 0 considers a dangerous “right-wing extremistâ€? The answer is apparently anyone who doesn’t support him.
Anyway, while “fascist†may not fit 0 like a glove it does seem to fit him like a nice warm coat.
· Pulling off the grassroots movement thing means NOT making references to FOX-News or corporate sponsors of your non-event. It’s kind of like telling a chick you just met in a bar that you’re single and sexually insatiable – despite the fact that you’re wearing a wedding ring, and your BlackBerry keeps flashing a message about picking up some extra-strength Viagra on your way home.
Are you seriously this stupid? Or should I say “serieslyâ€? What am I thinking? Of course, you’re this stupid. You post at the DUmp. Let’s look at the definition of “grassrootsâ€...
Main Entry: grass roots
Function: noun plural but singular or plural in construction
Date: 1901
1: the very foundation or source
2: the basic level of society or of an organization especially as viewed in relation to higher or more centralized positions of power.
Merriam-Webster must have left out the part about grassroots having no association with Fox News or corporate sponsors. Of course, Merriam-Webster is not smart like you. You’re not called a DUmmie for nothing.
· Placards and signs will be captured by TV and still cameras. Spelling and grammar come into play here – no, seriesly. Don’t be afraid to ask a neighbor for help in bringing properly-spelled words together into a coherent sentence. If you have a Liberal neighbor, he/she is probably your best bet when looking for someone with expertise in this area. (They may not agree with your political views, but they will defend to the death your right to mis-spell them.)
Nance, Nance, Nance. SERIESLY [sic], have you read the liberal haven called DU or do you only write insane rants there? Have you SERIESLY [sic] ever read the signs at a liberal protest? The funny thing is that liberal protests usually have small enough turnouts that all the signs could be checked for spelling very quickly.
· A little fact-checking goes a long way. It’s always wise to make sure you’re not protesting what you think a new administration is about to do, when it turns out to be the same thing the previous administration (the one you supported so vehemently) actually did do for … eight … ******’ … years. “This Obama guy is about to plunge the nation into unfathomable debt – oh, noes!!!
Did you know that we were against a lot of the things that Bush did? The thing is that 0 is doing the things we opposed Bush on on a larger scale PLUS is adding other negatives to it.
By the way, you say that 0 is doing “the same thing the previous administration actually did doâ€. You protested and ranted against Bush for 8 years. When are you going to start protesting 0? Or are you hypocritical?
· The clothes make the man/woman. Wearing a hatful of teabags will (a) demonstrate your idiocy for all the world to see, and (b) ensure that you never get laid again – at least not by anyone who isn’t just itchin’ to **** an idiot.
Ohhhh. Wearing a hatful of teabags is idiotic. I see. It’s not intelligent like removing your shirt, unrolling your ground-dragging tits and screaming “Boobs not bombs!!!!â€
· Stay mindful of those Good Christian Family Values ™ you’re always braggin’ about, especially while you’re out in public. Your seven-year-old with the “Don’t touch my piggy-bank†sign is adorable – why isn’t she in school? Oh, that’s right, schools are evil, what with being funded by tax dollars and all – just like those tax-dollar-funded firefighters who are on their way to your house, trying to save it as it burns to the ground while you’re out rantin’, wearing a hatful of teabags.
Nance, are you seriesly [sic] that stupid? Wait, I’ve asked that before haven’t I?
First, the problem with schools has nothing to do with tax dollars. The problem with schools is that they are largely being run by America hating liberal idiots who are doing everything but teaching writing, reading, and arithmetic.
Second, we have no problems with firefighters. They are heroes. We have no problems with taxes. We do, however, have a problem with over taxation AND spending the country into bankruptcy.
· Find a fact (yes, an actual fact] and commit it to memory (yes, at this point, a single fact will do) – that’s one more fact than you had in your empty head yesterday, and it might come in handy in future.
A fact? The fact is that your idiotic screed has brought several facts to my attention. Some I already knew. Some I’ve recently just learned. Here’s a few...
Fact: Liberals are hypocritical.
Fact: 0 is pretty darn close to fitting the definition of a fascist.
Fact: Liberals are stupid.
