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Author Topic: cheer up good jewish joke here  (Read 1891 times)

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Offline miskie

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cheer up good jewish joke here
« on: April 14, 2009, 06:19:45 AM »
DUmmy types a classic joke, and makes it about JOOOOOOOOOOOS! -- Not a single reference to a tombstone, or at least a post showing disgust.

Quote from: historian
historian  (1000+ posts) Tue Apr-14-09 04:04 AM

Original message
cheer up good jewish joke here
   
couple have been married for 25 yrs and she has never had an orgasm. They go to the rabbi and aks him what to do. He strokes his beard then says " Listen.. Find a nice looking you man in his 20's, take him home and have sex. While you are doing it have him wave a towel over you."
They follow the rabbis advice and still nothing.
They return and tell the rabbi it didnt work. He thought for a moment then said "all right try this. Have the young man have sex with the wife while the husband waves the towel."
So they go home and try it. After several minutes she suddenly lets out a scream like a banshee, scratches the guys back to shreds and has an orgasm which makes a volcanic explosion look like a joke.
"See! said the husband now THATS how you wave a towel.
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Offline Karin

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2009, 08:49:21 AM »
OK.  I'll do a muslim joke:

A young muslim couple were just married but hadn't consummated the marriage yet, as they were unsure of things.  They went to the Imam and asked him what was permissible in this area. 

"You are married.  All things are permissible under Allah and his Prophet for you to do with your wife." 

"So, classic missionary?"  asks the young man?  "Of course!" says the Imam.
"What about from the back?  Sitting up?  Woman on top??  "Absolutely!"  says the Imam.
"What about oral? What about in the bad place?"  "Go for it!"  says the Imam.
"What about standing up?"  asks the young man.

"Absolutely forbidden." says the Imam.  "Could lead to dancing." 

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Offline franksolich

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2009, 08:51:17 AM »
Now, Karin, madam, that's not fair.

If this were posted on Skins's island, one would get mausoleumed for being "hateful."
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Chris_

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2009, 11:45:34 AM »
How about a DUmmie joke?

A DUmmie is walking down the street toting a duck. It approaches a drunk and the following conversation takes place...

Drunk: Heaven help us that's an ugly, filthy hog you've got!!!!
DUmmie; I have you know it's a duck!!!
Drunk: I have you know I was talking to the duck!!!

I know. It's old.
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If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline franksolich

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2009, 11:54:01 AM »
Quote from: ChuckJ on April 14, 2009, 11:45:34 AM
How about a DUmmie joke?

A DUmmie is walking down the street toting a duck. It approaches a drunk and the following conversation takes place...

Drunk: Heaven help us that's an ugly, filthy hog you've got!!!!
DUmmie; I have you know it's a duck!!!
Drunk: I have you know I was talking to the duck!!!

I know. It's old.

Never heard it, myself.

It's great.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline DixieBelle

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2009, 11:56:32 AM »
Quote from: ChuckJ on April 14, 2009, 11:45:34 AM
How about a DUmmie joke?

A DUmmie is walking down the street toting a duck. It approaches a drunk and the following conversation takes place...

Drunk: Heaven help us that's an ugly, filthy hog you've got!!!!
DUmmie; I have you know it's a duck!!!
Drunk: I have you know I was talking to the duck!!!

I know. It's old.
yeah, but it's still funny :-)
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Offline PatriotGame

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2009, 12:00:06 PM »
Quote from: ChuckJ on April 14, 2009, 11:45:34 AM
How about a DUmmie joke?

A DUmmie is walking down the street toting a duck. It approaches a drunk and the following conversation takes place...

Drunk: Heaven help us that's an ugly, filthy hog you've got!!!!
DUmmie; I have you know it's a duck!!!
Drunk: I have you know I was talking to the duck!!!

I know. It's old.

Truth has no age!
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Offline Karin

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2009, 01:30:44 PM »
Well I'm just glad I didn't get bitchslapped for mine. 
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2009, 04:06:11 PM »
Quote from: ChuckJ on April 14, 2009, 11:45:34 AM
How about a DUmmie joke?

A DUmmie is walking down the street toting a duck. It approaches a drunk and the following conversation takes place...

Drunk: Heaven help us that's an ugly, filthy hog you've got!!!!
DUmmie; I have you know it's a duck!!!
Drunk: I have you know I was talking to the duck!!!

I know. It's old.

An oldie, but a goodie . . . H5 to you and Karin for the jokes.
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Offline LC EFA

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Re: cheer up good jewish joke here
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2009, 04:54:29 PM »
Quote from: Karin on April 14, 2009, 01:30:44 PM
Well I'm just glad I didn't get bitchslapped for mine. 

It's rare that someone will post a tasteless joke I don't already know. Let alone a zinger like that one.  Hi5.

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