« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: More Bacon!  (Read 4786 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
More Bacon!
« on: April 02, 2009, 03:44:08 PM »
Squeez Bacon!!!!



A few years after WWII ended, a young man working in a small restaurant in Sweden developed a new way to process bacon. By precooking it and blending it in a special way, he was able to make a fully cooked 100% bacon paste that could be squeezed from a tube. Knowing he had discovered something paradigm-shifting, young Vilhelm Lillefläsk quickly went into business. That, dear friends, is when Squeez Bacon® was born. And this delicious delectable from Sweden has finally been brought over to the USA - now with American Flavor!

We've been working for months now with Vilhelm Lillefläsk (yes, he still runs the company!) to bring Squeez Bacon® here, and boy are we proud. Why? Because Squeez Bacon® is simply the tastiest bacon food product ever made. Did you know that it's rumored ABBA met while eating Squeez Bacon® sandwiches? And even IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad (we've heard) never travels without a case! He loves it on his American style meatballs. Ojojoj!

Vilhelm Lillefläsk's Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon! You can put it on sandwiches, pizza, pastas, bacon, soups, pies, eat it hot or cold (warm Squeez Bacon® on toasted rye is to die for), substitute it for bacon in your recipes, or even eat it right out of the tube like we do! If it's edible, it's better with Squeez Bacon®. In the immortal words of Vilhelm Lillefläsk, "Aldrig kommer att ge dig upp!" Once you get a taste of Squeez Bacon®, you'll know exactly what he meant.

Product Features

    * Each tube contains 21oz (595g) of Squeez Bacon®.
    * 16 servings - equivalent to 64 slices of bacon!
    * Bottled in Sweden, made from U.S. bred swine.
    * Shelf Life of 12 years.
    * No refrigeration needed.
    * Jätte gott!
Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline The Village Idiot

  • Banned
  • Probationary (Probie)
  • Posts: 54
  • Reputation: +96/-15
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2009, 04:00:21 PM »
is this for real??

Just yesterday I said we needed a Bacon forum
Logged

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2009, 04:10:49 PM »
Quote from: FGL on April 02, 2009, 04:00:21 PM
is this for real??

Just yesterday I said we needed a Bacon forum


Fortunately for our hearts it's actually not.  But still, I'm surprised someone hasn't made squeeze bacon yet. 
Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline BlueStateSaint

  • Here I come to save the day, because I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32553
  • Reputation: +1560/-191
  • RIP FDNY Lt. Rich Nappi d. 4/16/12
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2009, 04:40:32 PM »
I was thinking that it was a sick, sick late April Fools' joke.  Mia, to jerk our chains like that is just wrong. :tongue:
Logged
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline Servonaut

  • In Memoriam
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 808
  • Reputation: +87/-8
  • "Memento Mori"
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2009, 04:54:11 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on April 02, 2009, 04:10:49 PM

Fortunately for our hearts it's actually not.  But still, I'm surprised someone hasn't made squeeze bacon yet. 

Damn Mia, that's just wrong.

I could use me some squeeze bacon.  :cheersmate:
Logged

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2009, 04:56:19 PM »
Quote from: Servonaut on April 02, 2009, 04:54:11 PM
Damn Mia, that's just wrong.

I could use me some squeeze bacon.  :cheersmate:


I was worried asdf might get too excited when he saw it.   :uhsure:
Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Splashdown

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6729
  • Reputation: +475/-100
  • Out of 9 lives, I spent 7
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2009, 06:19:22 PM »
Sigh. Bacon makes everything better.
Logged
Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing frighten you. 
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience attains all that it strives for.
He who has God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
--St. Theresa of Avila



"No crushed ice; no peas." -- Undies

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2009, 06:22:23 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on April 02, 2009, 04:56:19 PM

I was worried asdf might get too excited when he saw it.   :uhsure:

Damn you, I almost had an orgasm over that.

You tease!
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2009, 06:48:15 PM »
Quote from: NHSparky on April 02, 2009, 06:22:23 PM
Damn you, I almost had an orgasm over that.

You tease!


When you make it to Dallas, I'll make you all the bacon you can eat.   :-)
Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2009, 06:51:29 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on April 02, 2009, 06:48:15 PM

When you make it to Dallas, I'll make you all the bacon you can eat.   :-)

You shouldn't tempt me, dear...

(starts looking up airfares on Kayak...oooooh!!!  $175 round trip!)
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline mamacags

  • Smells like teen spirit
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4281
  • Reputation: +444/-113
  • Little Miss Cranky Pants
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2009, 07:00:37 PM »



Quote
Love bacon and all its goodness? Want to spice things up in the bedroom? Well, you’re sure to love this new product, baconlube™ . baconlube is a delicious personal lubricant designed to “keep it sizzlin’”. Now you can have your cake and eat it too.
Please note that the product is still undergoing FDA testing, although the makers feel confident that it will be fast-tracked given that pigs have be
been using something very similar to this as a breeding enhancer for years with no ill effects
Logged
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Winston Churchill

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2009, 07:13:57 PM »
Quote from: NHSparky on April 02, 2009, 06:51:29 PM
You shouldn't tempt me, dear...

(starts looking up airfares on Kayak...oooooh!!!  $175 round trip!)

We'll start with drinks first



Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2009, 07:21:41 PM »
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline asdf2231

  • would like to cordially invite you to the pants party!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6562
  • Reputation: +556/-162
  • VRWC Arts And Crafts Director
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #13 on: April 02, 2009, 07:29:06 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on April 02, 2009, 04:56:19 PM

I was worried asdf might get too excited when he saw it.   :uhsure:

  :uhsure:

Logged




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2009, 07:33:46 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on April 02, 2009, 07:13:57 PM
We'll start with drinks first





Wait a minute--no beer?  Who's driving, and am I allowed to sleep on the couch or will I have to camp out on the lawn? 

BTW--I only do pepper bacon for breakfast.
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #15 on: April 02, 2009, 07:35:16 PM »
Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #16 on: April 02, 2009, 07:39:32 PM »
Quote from: NHSparky on April 02, 2009, 07:33:46 PM
Wait a minute--no beer?  Who's driving, and am I allowed to sleep on the couch or will I have to camp out on the lawn? 

BTW--I only do pepper bacon for breakfast.


Sigh, so picky.  I'll pick up some bacon beer then linky

Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #17 on: April 02, 2009, 07:44:14 PM »
I'm gonna be like Curly...where when I die, someone's gonna say, "The man ate bacon at every meal...you just can't do that!"
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #18 on: April 02, 2009, 07:46:22 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on April 02, 2009, 07:39:32 PM

Sigh, so picky.  I'll pick up some bacon beer then linky



See?  I **KNEW** you cared!
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #19 on: April 02, 2009, 07:47:19 PM »
Quote from: NHSparky on April 02, 2009, 07:46:22 PM
See?  I **KNEW** you cared!

I'll even splurge and set out some candles for dinner

Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #20 on: April 02, 2009, 07:51:15 PM »
So what weekend works for you...?  :naughty:
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23524
  • Reputation: +2464/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #21 on: April 02, 2009, 08:22:33 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on April 02, 2009, 04:10:49 PM

Fortunately for our hearts it's actually not. 

Just as well. I could see myself sitting in the corner sucking on a bottle of Squeez Bacon as a dozen other empty bottles litter the floor around me.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #22 on: April 02, 2009, 08:26:07 PM »
No doubt looking at the people surrounding you at your "intervention" with bloodshot eyes and a salt-engorged tongue, claiming, "I can quit anytime!"
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline Miss Mia

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8052
  • Reputation: +353/-137
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #23 on: April 02, 2009, 09:18:02 PM »
Quote from: NHSparky on April 02, 2009, 07:51:15 PM
So what weekend works for you...?  :naughty:

 :evillaugh:
Logged
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline The Village Idiot

  • Banned
  • Probationary (Probie)
  • Posts: 54
  • Reputation: +96/-15
Re: More Bacon!
« Reply #24 on: April 02, 2009, 11:54:14 PM »
Quote from: Miss Mia on April 02, 2009, 07:39:32 PM

Sigh, so picky.  I'll pick up some bacon beer then linky



This one is FOR REAL!!!!!


its for real

brown bread.....

CruisingSupplies.com also has canned butter and cheese with 10 year shelf lives
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »