Author Topic: Oh god I hate new parents... (Read 2415 times)

asdf2231 · « **on:** March 31, 2009, 04:26:10 PM »

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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8654035

Javaman (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 02:56 PM
Original message
Oh god I hate new parents...
Edited on Tue Mar-31-09 02:57 PM by Javaman

my cube is located in such a way that it seems at times all of america passes by every few minutes. it's a colossal pain in the ass.

but also it serves as an impromptu meeting area, a cross roads if you will, of anyone needing to "chit chat" about life's bullshit.

As a result, the new parents feel the need to congregate outside my area when they bring in their new rug rats to show off to the world to see as if there never ever has been another baby born in the universe.

The baby talk, the faux compliments and just the out right insanity that goes along with it is frankly, nauseating.

What the hell is wrong with new parents? I know they are all happy about "gods new gift (that makes me so puke)", but does that mean they are entitled to act like complete mindless assholes?

Yeah, make no mistake that I hate kids. They are sniveling little germ spreading waste producing scream machines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was a kid once blah blah blah, but I grew up because I hated being a kid! snark.

Honestly, if it weren't for the fact these people feel compelled to gather right outside my cube, I could be a bit more tolerant, but since they do, I hate them.

I mean this last little mutant that was just paraded around as if he was some frigging baby Einstein, its face was covered in snot and mystery food!!! WTF???

Sigh.

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ixion (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
3. lol...I can relate
If I were you I would request a different cube.

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Sub Atomic (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:01 PM
Original message
Here's a 'child' rant I copied a long time ago. Words are a bit biting, but it's spot on.
I don't give a flying **** about your children. I don't care who they are, where they are, how old they are, or what they are doing. Want me to see pictures of your kids or grandkids? Sure, but hold on while I turn on the paper shredder.

What's that? You're selling cookies/candy/raffles/ornaments/prizes/trinkets so little Johnny and Sarah Jane can waste an afternoon at Disneyland? Sure I'll take some candy -- so long as I can smash it in your mother****ing face and retrieve it from your crusty rectum. This is an office where I do important work -- not a ******* bazaar to peddle the wares of your snotnosed offspring.

I don't care how smart you think your kids are. No, your children aren't geniuses. You'll be lucky if your brats move out of your hovel at age 30 -- after they've climbed the ladder to success making change at a gas station.

You love your children? Good -- tell it to someone who gives a shit.

Keep your mother****ing brats out of movie theaters and restaurants. Seriously, no one wants the living incarnation of your seed disturbing our shows and meals, spreading viruses and bacteria with every ******* thing they touch. You need a night out? Fine -- hire someone else's ****ing brat to watch yours, you cheap piece of filth.

No, I don't want to pay more in taxes to send your pathetic pieces of dopeshit to school. Oh, you want "more resources"? Better "facilities"? Better student-teacher "ratios"? Well la-de-****ing-da: why don't you ****ING PAY FOR IT. If you're not catching my drift, let me make it clear: I don't want to throw my money away educating your third-rate douchebag of a kid so he or she can wash my car on the weekend. You gave birth to it, you pay for it.

Your children are our future? **** the future, **** your kids, and **** you.

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infidel dog (130 posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
37. oh christ, another sensible human being. Un****ingbelievable.
Allah, buddha, jeezuschrissalmighty. Note to all multipliers: I have no interest whatsoever in this mass of protoplasm you and your significant other decided to create during a moment of grunting, sweating biologic delirium. I am opposed to the diametric expansion of the human species you promote. I am opposed to the hideous over-multiplication of the primate sub-species known as homo sapiens to the detriment of all other species inhabiting this sorry planet. I hate your ****ing offspring as deeply as I detest the bourgeois-bohemians who splort them out. You wanna know some more awready??? I want to devour your ****ing over-privileged zygotes, yank them out of their oh-so-hip mail-order walkers pushed by your nannies and care-takers and rend them with my yellowing proletarian fangs. Suck them down like boneless spare-ribs on Main St in sight of your police chief and rotary club president. **** the bourgeoisie. I've been out of work for 4 months and can't find a shitty part-time job wearing a ****ing multi-colored polyester baseball cap shilling cups of coffee to Missy Soccermom and her ****ing rugrats? **** You. I need a ****ing job. 20 hours a week to pay the rent on my dingy hotel room. Ok, I lost my job and my automobile and my apartment of ten years. Life has its misfortunes. What do I have to do? Rob a ****ing bank?

And the Positive Post Of The Week goes to...

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crim son (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
10. I understand it's annoying to be disturbed. To pick on new parents
showing off their children is disturbing. If you ever become a new parent, you'll have a better understanding of the exchange. Of course one hopes you are never in that position since you seem to lack a fundamental human quality.

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Javaman (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:11 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. I have vowed never ever to have children. My days for that are long since passed.
Edited on Tue Mar-31-09 03:15 PM by Javaman
my brother carried on the name with his offspring and relieved me of any responsibility. Not that I would have fulfilled the duty of carrying on the "family name" anyway.

I have never cared for kids, even as a kid, I always got along a lot better with grown ups. The conversations were a lot better.

And just why is it a fundamental part of being a human to like kids?

On behalf of the entire planet...THANK YOU JAVAMAN!!!111

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arcadian (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
19. Do the new parents have that 'baby shit covered with scented talcum powder' smell?
With snot and puke encrusted on their sleeves? Ba'al, I hate that. I'm with you. There are 6 billion of us on the ****ing planet. Get with it. It ain't no ****ing miracle, it's just ****ing.

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Symarip (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #19
30. I don't have a problem with children
Edited on Tue Mar-31-09 03:28 PM by Symarip
But I tend to identify with the OP. It's not the kids who suck, but their *******ed parents who won't shut the **** up. I don't rave on about how badass my Vespa, my trombone, or my dog is every ten minutes, so why should I have to put up with someone else going on about how smart, cute and unique their demon spawn is? If you're at work and you can't shut your moneymaker up about your kids, jump on the internet and find a forum because some of us are working.

Furthermore, every time I turn around someone at my job is taking the day off for family or child related issues. Sometimes I think about getting remarried and/or spawning just to get the extra month or two off a year the family man in the cube over from me seems milk out of the company without question. And before anyone shits a brick over the last sentence, I don't want him to not take time off, I just want to be compensated similarly without reservation.

Oh. all the above applies to middle aged men who hunt and people who watch the NFL. JESUS CHRIST SHUT THE **** UP ALREADY!

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Rabrrrrrr (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
29. "Congratulations - you ****ed. This morning I shat. Don't see me parading it around like it matters"

NHSparky · « **Reply #1 on:** March 31, 2009, 04:29:26 PM »

Hmmmm...strong is teh bitter with these ones.

Chris · « **Reply #2 on:** March 31, 2009, 04:36:31 PM »

A Vespa-riding trombone player. Sounds like a ladies man.

Hawkgirl · « **Reply #3 on:** March 31, 2009, 04:37:05 PM »

Well, I see it's point...parents who slaughter their children are much more loveable...

Carl · « **Reply #4 on:** March 31, 2009, 04:40:43 PM »

What a miserable bunch of worthless pieces of shit.

I cannot imagine being so consumed with hatred.

SSG Snuggle Bunny · « **Reply #5 on:** March 31, 2009, 04:45:30 PM »

Gay in name only.

JohnnyReb · « **Reply #6 on:** March 31, 2009, 04:51:36 PM »

"Keep your mother****ing brats out of movie theaters and restaurants. Seriously, no one wants the living incarnation of your seed disturbing our shows and meals, spreading viruses and bacteria with every damn thing they touch. You need a night out? Fine -- hire someone else's ******* brat to watch yours, you cheap piece of filth."

Well what do you know....liberals don't like liberal raised kids either.

Ralph Wiggum · « **Reply #7 on:** March 31, 2009, 04:55:56 PM »

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Javaman (1000+ posts) Tue Mar-31-09 03:11 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. I have vowed never ever to have children.

I'd be willing to bet that this wasn't a self-imposed vow.

Mr Mannn · « **Reply #8 on:** March 31, 2009, 05:06:38 PM »

Quote from: Hawkgirl on March 31, 2009, 04:37:05 PM

Well, I see it's point...parents who slaughter their children are much more loveable...

Quote from: Carl on March 31, 2009, 04:40:43 PM

What a miserable bunch of worthless pieces of shit.

I cannot imagine being so consumed with hatred.

There is something very human about having a baby. The gal at work gets pregnant, takes a few months off, and returns to show off her baby.
Its human to rejoice with her.

To see these selfish souls so far separated from basic human joys is disheartening. If one can lash out with such vile language and hate against helpless children...what defense could they possible have against evil.

indeed, I believe the denizens of DU are in fact, evil. They have succumbed to it. They are slaves to it.
It wasn't normal people who volunteered to be the executioners for the various communist purges. It was the sick and depraved who manned the killing fields.

These are the same DUmmies who dance on the bones of the dead, who advocate armed insurrection, wish for murder and imprisonment upon those who merely disagree. We laugh at them in their basements and hovels. But they are the ones who will rise up to cheer/carry out Ayer's purge of 25 million Americans. (though I would still laugh seeing a few squeeze into their uniforms)

Being this far removed from humanity leads to violence and murder.
Having an assembly of sub-humans like DUers IS a dangerous thing. We should watch them carefully.

MrsSmith · « **Reply #9 on:** March 31, 2009, 05:09:11 PM »

We all knew the DUmp hated people...this is just further confirmation. Want to bet they'd have no problem with the folks gathering to brag about their newest cat, newest bong, or to describe their newest act at the gay bar?

formerlurker · « **Reply #10 on:** March 31, 2009, 05:13:34 PM »

I have to tell you that this also irritated the stuffing out of me too when new parents brought their crying baby into work. I lived the cubicle life also -- no door to shut. I am on the phone trying to secure a recorded statement on a fraud case, or negotiating a settlement with an attorney and the baby noises were quite a distraction. I would get the "is that a baby? where are you calling me from" a lot.

Kind of unprofessional. I totally want to see the baby too, but break rooms and cafeteria is where you bring your baby so the oohs and aahs aren't disrupting work.

miskie · « **Reply #11 on:** March 31, 2009, 05:39:28 PM »

Nihilism - Ur doing it rite, Dummehz

Quote from: Nihilism

Nihilism (from the Latin nihil, nothing) is the philosophical position that values do not exist but rather are falsely invented.[1] Most commonly, nihilism is presented in the form of existential nihilism which argues that life[2] is without meaning, purpose or intrinsic value. Moral nihilists assert that morality does not exist, and subsequently there are no moral values with which to uphold a rule or to logically prefer one action over another. Nihilism can also take the form of epistemological, metaphysical or mereological nihilism.

The term nihilism is sometimes used synonymously with anomie to denote the general mood of despair at the pointlessness of existence that one has when they realize there are no necessary norms, rules, or laws.[3] Movements such as Futurism and deconstructionism,[4] among others, have been identified by commentators as "nihilistic" at various times in various contexts. Often this means or is meant to imply that the beliefs of the accuser are more substantial or truthful, whereas the beliefs of the accused are nihilistic, and thereby comparatively amount to nothing (or are simply claimed to be destructively amoralistic).

LC EFA · « **Reply #12 on:** March 31, 2009, 05:55:58 PM »

Now if only they can put their money where their mouth is and not breed - leftists gone inside a generation.

asdf2231 · « **Reply #13 on:** March 31, 2009, 05:56:27 PM »

Quote from: Chris on March 31, 2009, 04:36:31 PM

A Vespa-riding trombone player. Sounds like a ladies man.

If by "Ladies Man" you mean the kind of Ladies Man who they take to help them shop for shoes and linger over coffee bitching about what a shit their boyfriends can be you are almost probably 100% correct.

He's probably a real catch on the Man vs Man market, what with that badass Vespa and those developed "horn blowing" muscles.

DixieBelle · « **Reply #14 on:** March 31, 2009, 05:58:08 PM »

Wow. Freud would have a field day at the Island.

Mike220 · « **Reply #15 on:** March 31, 2009, 10:28:14 PM »

Oh, the irony... And the stupidity... But the irony is strong...

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No, I don't want to pay more in taxes to send your pathetic pieces of dopeshit to school. Oh, you want "more resources"? Better "facilities"? Better student-teacher "ratios"? Well la-de-****ing-da: why don't you ****ING PAY FOR IT. If you're not catching my drift, let me make it clear: I don't want to throw my money away educating your third-rate douchebag of a kid so he or she can wash my car on the weekend. You gave birth to it, you pay for it.

happy1ga · « **Reply #16 on:** April 01, 2009, 06:50:03 AM »

Well Jiminy Freakin' Cricket in the tall grass!!! That crap goes waaay beyond disliking small children/babies. That is pure venom for life. The second poster wanting to suck on their bones like spare ribs? Dude, that is sick. As for you not having a job and living in a shiteous motel room, that isn't any child on this planet's fault. Look in the damn mirror, a**hole. Yes, babies and kids can be a PITA, so can their parents, deal with it. Anyway, where's all the sanctimonious crap about how those poor, poor children have such horrible school environments, too many to a classroom, etc. Where's all the love for the SChip bill, that was so great and helpful for the chiiillllddreeenn? Do you people have split personalities, or amfreakinesia?

JohnnyReb · « **Reply #17 on:** April 01, 2009, 06:57:40 AM »

Now ya'll remember this the next a dimocrat says, "It's for the children."

Karin · « **Reply #18 on:** April 01, 2009, 08:29:42 AM »

That rant, Mike220, was a straight copy/paste from George Carlin, without attribution. Thieving plaigarists.
Formerlurker, I too, do not want crying babies in the office central. Breakrooms and Cafs, OK. There is a woman here who tells stories about her two-year old and what she said, etc. She puts on a baby voice to regale the tale, loudly. It's irritating beyond words. I just think that a business office is a place for human grownups. I adore dogs, but wouldn't want everybody to bring theirs in.

lastparker · « **Reply #19 on:** April 01, 2009, 09:27:58 AM »

Obama got his start as a baby.

formerlurker · « **Reply #20 on:** April 01, 2009, 09:52:42 AM »

Quote from: lastparker on April 01, 2009, 09:27:58 AM

Obama got his start as a baby.

Wineslob · « **Reply #21 on:** April 01, 2009, 09:58:52 AM »

Why, oh why, can't one of these types of assholes be a fellow worker? My days would be filled with blather about my daughter, until they killed themselves.

Splashdown · « **Reply #22 on:** April 01, 2009, 10:10:55 AM »

My daugher "starred" in her school's production of Annie this weekend. She's the one in the pink scarf giving Annie her cup of soup in Hooverville right there.

I've been looking for a thread to drop this in...This seemed like the best spot!

Flame · « **Reply #23 on:** April 01, 2009, 10:13:30 AM »

Quote from: Splashdown on April 01, 2009, 10:10:55 AM

My daugher "starred" in her school's production of Annie this weekend. She's the one in the pink scarf giving Annie her cup of soup in Hooverville right there.

I've been looking for a thread to drop this in...This seemed like the best spot!

She looks adorable!....but never fear about lack of thread for cute kids pics...just start one next time!

The Village Idiot · « **Reply #24 on:** April 01, 2009, 10:41:23 AM »

Quote from: Splashdown on April 01, 2009, 10:10:55 AM

My daugher "starred" in her school's production of Annie this weekend. She's the one in the pink scarf giving Annie her cup of soup in Obamaville right there.

good practice for the time when you all move into an Obamaville tent

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Author Topic: Oh god I hate new parents... (Read 2415 times)