squirrelly primitive gets drunk to win back wife; gets into trouble instead

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=336x5306

Oh my.

FlyingSquirrel  (1000+ posts)        Mon Feb-23-09 01:36 AM
Original message
 
Well... guess that's all folks.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

Should've listened to that little voice that was tellin' me it was stupid to go back to drinking just because my wife (with whom I'm separated) wouldn't go out with me unless I was drinking too.

So now here I am with a DUI.

And I drive a bus for a living. But not for much longer, I'm sure. Hated the job anyway but still need the money.

Sucks to be me. That was exactly one week ago... haven't had a drink since then but lemme tell you, it sure is hard to go through what I'm going through without my usual ability to just drink and forget everything for awhile.

Well, there's always sleep.

Kajsa  (1000+ posts)        Mon Feb-23-09 11:21 AM
Response to Original message
 
1. Squirrel, I've got to say this--there's no easy way around this one,

If your wife won't go out with you unless you are drinking too, then it may be time to move on- from her!

She knows you are an alcoholic, yets demands you drink with her?

That's a slow death sentence for us.

I don't think so.

Uh-huh.

FlyingSquirrel  (1000+ posts)        Tue Feb-24-09 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
 
3. Well, in her defense..

She doesn't think I'm an alcoholic. Her dad is an alcoholic so that constitutes her definition of what an alcoholic is. She thinks I am an occasional problem drinker. I personally would classify myself as borderline. If she were to say that I'm an alcoholic, then she would have to say that she is an alcoholic too since she drinks about the same as I do (possibly more, since she drinks wine at home almost every day whereas I rarely drink at home.)

The main difference between us besides that, is that I have tried quitting a couple of times and she has not. She's 10 years younger. Also she hasn't had a DUI, but give it time - she does occasionally drive when she should not.

Anyway, your point is well taken but is just one of many factors that might decide whether we get divorced or not.

NMDemDist2  (1000+ posts)        Mon Feb-23-09 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
 
2. your employer may offer recovery services 

check with your HR reps

while it looks horrible now, this may have been the wake up call you needed to get your life back

FlyingSquirrel  (1000+ posts)        Tue Feb-24-09 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #2
 
4. Doubtful..

I've looked through the labor agreement and don't see anything. They might have something like what you're talking about, but probably not for transit. (It's a department within the city). I have to have a CDL to drive a bus. It's probably gonna get taken away for a year.

Even if I get a lawyer and he works miracles, that would probably happen AFTER the 60-day period before the license gets automatically suspended. Once your CDL gets suspended, you have to go through some hoops to get it back.

Even if I didn't tell my employer, and just hoped they wouldn't find out or I didn't have an accident on-the-job (like someone smacks my mirror driving by) which required me to show my license to the police -- this happens a lot in my line of work -- my license would be expiring in May anyway and they'd want a copy of the new one.

So basically I have until April 16 to legally continue driving for them, and till nearly the end of May to illegally continue as long as they don't find out. After that, barring some lawyerly miracle, I'm gone, and can't work anywhere else either doing the same type of work.

NMDemDist2  (1000+ posts)        Tue Feb-24-09 03:25 PM
Response to Reply #4

5. most government agencies have a number to call when you're having trouble 

it's anonymous and probably on the bulletin board at work by the wage statements that you've looked at a million time but never 'seen'

they usually are listed as EAP (Employee Assistance Programs)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employee_assistance_progra...

almost all unions and governments offer them

you may be washing buses for a while, but it's better than being unemployed. and you may get the help you need.

I know right now everything seems black, but truly, it doesn't have to be. My hubby has a CDL and they are different, but they can't fire you if you ask for assistance.

it's worth a shot, you'll be no worse off and maybe will be able to improve the situation

Brucie Kibbutz  (371 posts)      Wed Feb-25-09 01:59 AM
Response to Original message
 
6. Sorry to hear you got in trouble.

Believe me, I know how it feels. I know what you mean about not being able to get ****ed up and forget about it too.

I would suggest putting your sobriety first before anything else right now. Don't keep on going for years on end like I did. I hate to think of anybody going through life like that.

Take care of yourself, OK?

FlyingSquirrel  (1000+ posts)        Thu Feb-26-09 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #6
 
7. Thanks

I pretty much agree that the only choice I have is to stay away from alcohol.

Haven't had a drink since the 16th.

[JohnnyReb]

So he's going to drive illegally until the end of May, huh? ......and he thought he had troubles now...just wait until June.

.04 and your CDL's are history. I thought they took those on the spot.

[BEG]

It's his wife's fault he can't control his drinking?!?  Typical

[The Village Idiot]

So he's going to drive illegally until the end of May, huh? ......and he thought he had troubles now...just wait until June.

.04 and your CDL's are history. I thought they took those on the spot.

CDL is bye bye. apply at Wal-Mart dude. ha

[Texacon]

So the DUmmies are trying to figure out a way for a DRUNK who DRIVES for a living to ..... continue driving for a living?!

 

KC

[AllosaursRus]

Holy Moses, is this guy a loser or what?

This is absolutely pathetic! And he thinks it's his wife's fault! This guy has to be in contention for the biggest loser on earth! What a waste of good air!

[Vagabond]

Did he even consider having one beer and chasing it with coke for an hour?  There isn't a jurisdiction where that would have got him in trouble, no he goes out has a few doesn't get lucky with the estranged wife and decides to drive home.  What an idiot.  You want to bet this is a behavioral pattern on his part?  He does something stupid and it is always her fault?

[AllosaursRus]

Did he even consider having one beer and chasing it with coke for an hour?  There isn't a jurisdiction where that would have got him in trouble, no he goes out has a few doesn't get lucky with the estranged wife and decides to drive home.  What an idiot.  You want to bet this is a behavioral pattern on his part?  He does something stupid and it is always her fault?

It's actually probly worse than that! Chances are they can't stand each other or have sex without being shit faced!