I had sex at 16, I'm so much more mature now at 17..

[terry]

lightningandsnow  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sun Feb-22-09 10:52 AM
Original message
When I was 16, I had sex with a 21-year-old.
   
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Edited on Sun Feb-22-09 10:54 AM by lightningandsnow
And yes, I've mentioned it before, because it always comes up for me whenever people post shock/outrage that the "children" (teenagers, really) are being sexual, especially with someone older.

While I know that age differences like that can lend themselves to exploitation, that isn't always the case. While my boyfriend was older than me, and we had a lot of differences (which is why we're not together anymore), I can assure you that I was not raped, exploited, or abused in any way. It was perfectly consensual (and perfectly legal where I live.) And we really did care about each other a lot. I also think I am fairly mature for my age - I'm 17 now - which is why I tend to be attracted to people who are a bit older in the first place.

This is why it always bothers me when people try to paint adolescent sexuality with a broad brush. It isn't that simple, and nothing annoys me more than when people insist on naming the experiences of others.

Get back to me about how mature you are, when you have a 16-17 yo child of your own and you are looking back on this experience.

OMC still looking for that tombstone..

OPERATIONMINDCRIME  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Journal  Click to send private message to this author  Click to view this author's profile  Click to add this author to your buddy list  Click to add this author to your Ignore list      Sun Feb-22-09 11:22 AM
Response to Original message
20. Regardless, Your Boyfriend Had Some Serious Issues And Was A Creep.
   
Any 21 yr old who would have a genuine interest in a 16 yr old is creepy and full of personal issues. It's a bit disgusting.

Now I don't know that the initial interest in necessarily indicative of serious personal issues, some 16yo's look like 21 yo's.  To proceed, knowing she is 16 definitely puts him in the creep category.

link

[Miss Mia]

Now I don't know that the initial interest in necessarily indicative of serious personal issues, some 16yo's look like 21 yo's.  To proceed, knowing she is 16 definitely puts him in the creep category.

Agreed.  And don't all 16 year olds think they're "mature"?

[Airwolf]

This is hard to say that the guy had issues. My parents were five years apart in age but you can at least rest assured that the sex thing didn't happen untill dad married mom.

[TheSarge]

Agreed.  And don't all 16 year olds think they're "mature"?

It's not just 16 year olds.

My 13 year old daughter thinks she is "mature".

[Chris_]

I can assure you that I was not raped, exploited, or abused in any way.

Yes you were.  Having sex with a child, no matter how pretentious, precocious and arrogant is rape, exploitation and abuse.  Any person 21 who does that is an exploitative child molestpor should she b hung by his balls in public.

It was perfectly consensual (and perfectly legal where I live.)

A child cannot consent.  If local laws set the age of consent that low (are there such jurisdictions?) then that is a mistake on the part of the community.

[rich_t]

are there such jurisdictions?

Yes there are.

[Chris_]

Her name before the change was AspieGirl.

She said she was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.

Her pictures show a girl that is not mature looking even at 17 if you know what I mean.  Her posts are usually a little off shall we say. More in line with what a 12 or 13 year old might post.

I'll pretty much bet he took advantage of her. She also has home troubles. She's confused about sex and love.

[asdf2231]

This is also the little Primitive who was taking Stripper Lessons.

[MrsSmith]

Agreed.  And don't all 16 year olds think they're "mature"?

Yep.  We all think we're "all grown up"...until we get there, and wish we were young again.   

She is in the age of "I know everything."  By the time she figures that out, she'll look back and realize just how stupid she was at 16.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Yes you were.  Having sex with a child, no matter how pretentious, precocious and arrogant is rape, exploitation and abuse.  Any person 21 who does that is an exploitative child molestpor should she b hung by his balls in public.

A child cannot consent.  If local laws set the age of consent that low (are there such jurisdictions?) then that is a mistake on the part of the community.

In a lot of the US, possibly even the majority of it, the age of consent is 16, not 18.  Everybody seems to think it's 18 everywhere, which is basically not true but the perception is mostly due to the Federal child porn laws, which do make the age of 18 critical - but for being in porn, not for consenting to sex, which is an issue of State law.  There has been a lot of uncertainty induced into the system in the past couple of decades by touchy-feely advocate types pushing laws that muddy the waters with provisions like "16 is legal but only someone not older than 19," and similar language from the Rube Goldberg School of legislative arts.  The Federal law pegged the age where they felt like, without reference to the states except to set it no lower than the highest age of consent in use anywhere - 18.
 

[Chris_]

Yep.  We all think we're "all grown up"...until we get there, and wish we were young again.   :whatever: :-)

She is in the age of "I know everything."  By the time she figures that out, she'll look back and realize just how stupid she was at 16.

My favorite song quotes:

"I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."

"I wish I didn't know what I didn't know then."

[terry]

Yep.  We all think we're "all grown up"...until we get there, and wish we were young again.   

She is in the age of "I know everything."  By the time she figures that out, she'll look back and realize just how stupid she was at 16.

Exactly and that's exactly why a 16 yo needs to be legally protected from a 21 yo and protected from their own stupidity.

[Traveshamockery]

Her name before the change was AspieGirl.

She said she was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.

Her pictures show a girl that is not mature looking even at 17 if you know what I mean.  Her posts are usually a little off shall we say. More in line with what a 12 or 13 year old might post.

I'll pretty much bet he took advantage of her. She also has home troubles. She's confused about sex and love.

Just the fact that she is sharing that information on the DUmp is proof enough that she's not mature.  Most of those men that hang out there are pretty weird - I hope she hasn't posted her address. 

[BlueStateSaint]

In a lot of the US, possibly even the majority of it, the age of consent is 16, not 18.  Everybody seems to think it's 18 everywhere, which is basically not true but the perception is mostly due to the Federal child porn laws, which do make the age of 18 critical - but for being in porn, not for consenting to sex, which is an issue of State law.  There has been a lot of uncertainty induced into the system in the past couple of decades by touchy-feely advocate types pushing laws that muddy the waters with provisions like "16 is legal but only someone not older than 19," and similar language from the Rube Goldberg School of legislative arts.  The Federal law pegged the age where they felt like, without reference to the states except to set it no lower than the highest age of consent in use anywhere - 18.
 

In NY, it's 17--and in NH, it's 13, IIRC.   (Sparky, I need an assist on this one.)

We won't be moving there anytime soon.