MagikMuffin is in Fort Worth! Here is a thought Muffin Man, why don't you organize your own celebration?? Rent some big screen TV's, buy a truckload of beer and invite everyone to come. You might also have to rent a big place. Then you can make it as free as you want, or did you think someone else should pay for all that?
Then maybe you can charge per person or something.
Problem solved, but then again, he would NEVER have thought of that on his own.