Pedro Picasso gives parenting advice

[Chris_]

Not really.   Parents who place the fear of God in their children by threat of violence raise children who learn how to obtain their objective the same way.   T

I guess biology changed.  Those of us from prior generations who were brought up with The Fear of Mom (then God, then Dad), mostly ended up being Conservatives who see a link between action and consequence and are, for the most part, well adjusted.

When did the change come that required psychobabble to raise a kid?  Did the genome shift and we missed it?

[terry]

I guess biology changed.  Those of us from prior generations who were brought up with The Fear of Mom (then God, then Dad), mostly ended up being Conservatives who see a link between action and consequence and are, for the most part, well adjusted.

When did the change come that required psychobabble to raise a kid?  Did the genome shift and we missed it?

I don't think anything has changed.   I don't think FEAR is always necessary.    It may work but I don't think it's always necessary.  I think respect for Mom, God and Dad are necessary as well as respect for everyone.  It's been my experience, which admittedly is very limited experience, that respect can be taught without striking a child or even yelling at them or losing your temper with them.   

I'm not saying it's true for everyone, and I'm not making any judgments. 

When I had my oldest, I thought this child rearing thing was a piece of cake.   I couldn't understand why other folks had a problem with it.

Then I had number 2.   He was a little wild man.   I had to watch him every single minute and if I had buck for every time I asked him "what were you thinking?" or "what did you think would happen?" ,  I'd be a wealthy woman.   When he was very little, he just had to be very closely supervised.    I had no problem, saying "NO" in a firm voice.  As he got older there were consequences when he misbehaved, usually consequences very closely related to whatever the offense was.     He kicked the TV once, because a character on his video game wouldn't die.   That game was confiscated permanently.  If he made a mess, he had to clean it up.   If he broke something, he had to replace it or provide some compensation.    This child had an extremely high threshold for pain.   Hitting him would have had zero effect on him.    I can't say that I never lost my temper with him or that I never yelled at him, he could be a trying kid.   I feel like the times I lost my temper with him, were just my problem.   I don't think it hurt him to know that if he pushed to far, he might push someone over the edge.  It didn't hurt him to know that even mom has her limits but it wasn't necessary to teach him respect.   I think he learned more when I just calmly explained unpleasant consequences to him.

[formerlurker]

I guess biology changed.  Those of us from prior generations who were brought up with The Fear of Mom (then God, then Dad), mostly ended up being Conservatives who see a link between action and consequence and are, for the most part, well adjusted.

When did the change come that required psychobabble to raise a kid?  Did the genome shift and we missed it?

My dad put the fear of God in me (and my brothers and sisters) and he never raised a hand to us. 

The occasional swat is not what I am referring to in my post.   

[Zeus]

It takes a special person/parent to never loose their cool with a childor or raise their voice to one. I suspect the majority of those who claim they are such parents are full of beans.

I do know of one such mother but the jury is still out as to whether she is human or not  

[Zeus]

My dad put the fear of God in me (and my brothers and sisters) and he never raised a hand to us. 

The occasional swat is not what I am referring to in my post.   

Same  with my father. Except for one special occassion. My mother dusted our butts regularly.

[formerlurker]

It takes a special person/parent to never loose their cool with a childor or raise their voice to one. I suspect the majority of those who claim they are such parents are full of beans.

I do know of one such mother but the jury is still out as to whether she is human or not  

Never claimed to not lose it on occassion, I just don't think it is effective parenting in the long term.