Belated Thanksgiving Bouncy from Dr. Eldritch

[Ralph Wiggum]

Dr_eldritch (1000+ posts)
Wed Dec-03-08 02:35 PM
Original message
So Ma and Pa Eldritch, Republican Faux-News adherents, are over for Thanksgiving...
   
I'm lucky I guess... I have a Blue-Blood type family that's almost always cordial no matter what subjects come up. It's very rare that anyone even becomes irritated, but every once in a while, Ma says; 'Let's not talk about this right now.'.

So Pa sits on the couch and finds the remote.

He turns on Faux. He knows what I think of it, and their grandson got them pretty good over the summer once.

So I start in... "Did you guys know that nearly 51% of Fox News watchers still think Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11?"

Ma Eldritch; "Why are you bringing this up now?"

"Well, so long as Fox News is on, I figure I'd share some 'Fox Facts' with you all."

Pa turned on the football game.

A little while later, Fox popped back on.

"Say, did you guys know that, according to The Program on International Policy Attitudes at the University of Maryland, Fox News watchers were the least informed news consumers in the nation? Apparently, if you watch Fox, you hold at least one of three major misconceptions."

*Click*... The Discovery channel.

While I'm in the kitchen finishing up a roue for the pearl onions, I hear the voice of one of the Faux news commentators.

"Hey, did you all know that Fox News falsely identified indicted and scandal-plagued Republicans as Democrats on three different occasions?"

*Click* - The History channel.


What's funny is that they know better than to challenge me by now. They know darn well I've got the goods. Yet somehow they still think that they're informed.

All in all, it was a good holiday, and very pleasant.


But the MOST fun part was having Pa Eldritch watch a video of a collapsing building, listening to him explain to his grandson (who was in on the trap) how the building was a controlled demolition, you could tell by the way the center came down first, and only explosives could have done it.... and then watching his face when I told him which building it was and when it came down.
- But that tale is for another forum.


I know it's nearly a week later, but I thought it was amusing and ultimately decided to share the Fox News exchange. I hope everyone else had fun with their Faux-watching relatives this TG, and more in the coming holidays.

 

[Texacon]

Does this asshat truly expect people to believe his dad couldn't identify one of the WTC buildings collapsing?  Is this what it is trying to say?!

 

KC

[JohnnyReb]

Did ya'll know that Ma and Pa Eldritch have an asshole for a son? Yeah, the same one they put thru med-school. Yeah, that's right, the one that needs a colostomy.

[Ralph Wiggum]

Oh jeez, his journal is even worse.

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/Dr_eldritch/45

I'm a Bad man.... Just took another Ditto-Head for some cash.
Posted by Dr_eldritch in General Discussion
Sun Oct 19th 2008, 12:07 AM


Every once in a while I just can't help but take advantage of the misinformed freeper-type, ditto-head, low-information-voters that seem to think they have a valid opinion simply because they watch Faux News, listen to Rush Limpbaugh, or read Anne Cultwhore. (No, I'm not a 'nice' man, just an accurate one) Well, seems I've struck again and I must strongly urge others not to follow my example unless they are absolutely certain of the demeanor and disposition of the person they are dealing with under the circumstances.

Really... I wouldn't consider this 'bad' because this isn't the first time I've taken the guy. http://journals.democraticunderground.com/...

So I guess he's about to learn it a third time.

Let me explain... or at least sum up;

Tonight I gave 'Art' a ride from my lovely friend's place. My lovely friend (and client) becomes a little frustrated when her very bright, articulate, intelligent, and ultimately misinformed son starts spewing right-wing talking points... so every once in a while I take it upon myself to joust with him a little. These events are rare as we aren't always in the appropriate setting or in possession of the window of time necessary to deal properly with our stance on the issues.

But while I was giving him a ride, and after we'd talked about work and travails, I made the time to put his right-wing brainwashing on the spot.

I even put it that way (This is roughly 90% accurate...)

"Hey, while we're here, mind if I do a 'brainwashing test' on you?"

"A what?"

"Well, you know how we've talked about the media and the type of brainwashing they do..."

"The Liberal media..."

"All the media under corporate control... really. They, meaning the wealthy and powerful, don't want guys like us to become influential..."

"Of course"

"...Because then we may just regain control of this government..."

"Right, and the Democrats are trying to stop that."

"Right, among others. But the main problem is the level of misinformation that is being propagated. So... can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot"

"What is 'ACORN'?"

"Well, it's a shady group that received donations from shady people"

"Really? Who?"

"Well, I don't know that."

"Then what's wrong with them?"

"Well.. they're associated with Obama for one, and that's reason enough not to trust them." (That's a dead-on quote fresh in memory)

"Why is that?"

"Because Obama's Indonesian, not even American. He was born 'Barry Sotero' and then his birth certificate was changed."

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Fifty bucks", I held out my hand, and without hesitation, he shook it.



Now I know that the last time I didn't report on the results until after the facts, but this was too fresh and too poignant to let go of. Sure... he should know better after the last time, but these people... and they aren't always stupid... they need to get fleeced on ground level so they start questioning their sources.

After this one, I doubt he'll have much more faith in his 'sources'... and I intend to see to that.

Another quick buck made on the industry of ignorance... and I have absolutely no shame about it.

He'll stop losing when he stops listening to the bullshit.

That is all.



... and I'm about to be another $50 richer. I'm sure me an' "Joe" the plumber will worry about all those extra taxes.

[asdf2231]

November 28th

Dear Diary,

My asshole liberal son dragged himself home with half a metric ton of filthy laundry. He bitched about the environment and carbon footprints the whole time he was swearing at Consuela for not putting enough starch on his faggy looking hemp shirts and going light on the bleach as she tried in vain to clean his underware.

We had to put up with his usual half coherent rambling insults about us and our rich fundie lifestyle eked out on the back of the poor working class blah, blah, blah... And THEN the little shit has the balls to ask us for money to help pay his back rent and some outrageous bill from some Video store for a bunch of overdue DVD's. (Which I came to find out when I called the shop to get the real story were all pornos with frigging midgets and amputees in them. I swear I wish the sick little bastard was just gay. At least THEY know how to dress themselves properly!)

So we have to put up with his bullshit moonbat ramblings all through dinner about how cruel it was to eat farm raised turkeys (While he tucked away about 10 pounds of the stuff) and then afterwards I am trying to watch the news and the little shit WILL NOT shut his piehole. So I keep switching off FNC until he gets bored and starts bothering grandma about some stupid Downing Street Memo and then I switch back to try to catch the news. Like clockwork he keeps yammering about some dumbass thing or another. I swear to God that he got brain damage from all the beatings he took in middle school. I know they called him "functional" after they did the tests when they caught him trying to have sex with the shop vac, but I think they must have missed something. Marian's side of the family was half retards anyway so maybe it's just genetics.

After about 5 hours of this crap his cousins took him out back and beat the shit out of him. Again. I know he's my son but God help me I wanted to go out and hold his arms for them rather than just distracting Marian while they cleaned his clock.

He got his handout money and clean clothes and swaggered out with a few parting insults to us. Consuela told me she shrunk the SHIT out of his shirts and I gave her a HUGE bonus.

I swear if he pulls this shit at Christmas I'm going to bury a carving fork in his pointy little head.

Pa Eldritch.

[Chris_]

*******it ASDF!

I been down with a chest cold all the last week, and there you go making me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.

May the fleas of a thousand camels... yada.. yada.. yada..

[TheSarge]

But the MOST fun part was having Pa Eldritch watch a video of a collapsing building, listening to him explain to his grandson (who was in on the trap) how the building was a controlled demolition, you could tell by the way the center came down first, and only explosives could have done it.... and then watching his face when I told him which building it was and when it came down.
- But that tale is for another forum.

Actually that piece of the story has a name:

[Traveshamockery]

What an ass. 

[LC EFA]

Dr_eldritch (1000+ posts)
Wed Dec-03-08 02:35 PM
Original message
So Ma and Pa Eldritch, Republican Faux-News adherents, are over for Thanksgiving...

[snip]

It's funny how some people absolutely must force their views onto others. Hardcore liberals and anti-religionists in particular.  

I frequently attend "holiday" events like Christmas lunches and dinners with some people who are unashamedly liberal ; politics or religion are just not subjects that are discussed.  

It's far better to just kick back and enjoy life for a day than it is to start shit like that.

I swear, If I was unfortunate enough to know anyone that was a turd-in-the-stew on the same order as "Dr_Eldritch", they'd sure as heck not ever be invited to any social events.

Betcha that "Dr_Eldritch" , is in for a rude shock when they find their ass disinherited.

[mamacags]

H5 ASDF that was freaking hillarious!!!!!!

[Chris_]

asdf, you are looking at Post of the Year!!

I am still dying over "I wish he was gay" line...

[bijou]

H5 ASDF that was freaking hillarious!!!!!!

Ditto! 

[DumbAss Tanker]

He's got a kid?!  From his writing, he sure doesn't sound straight.

 

[JohnnyReb]

asdf, you are looking at Post of the Year!!

I am still dying over "I wish he was gay" line...

I'm gonna H5 'im if I every stop laughing.........

[USA4ME]

I would definately say the primitive dr. has some bouncy issues.  Probably trying to compete with TiT.  No doubt they both falsely consider themselves to be intelligent.

I hope I run into one of the moonbat types that are either DUmmies are just like them one day.  I just never seem to be so lucky.

.

[comradebillyboy]

Dr_eldritch has to be one of the most obnoxious anal warts at dummyland. Maybe I'll go over to DU and ask him to go shooting with my group on Sunday. He can hold the targets for us.

[Carl]

Does this asshat truly expect people to believe his dad couldn't identify one of the WTC buildings collapsing?  Is this what it is trying to say?!

 

KC

Exactly!
I doubt that there is any publically broadcast,TV I mean (I know Youtube is the lost Ark to the moonbats),footage that wouldn`t be captioned and narrated as to what it is.

Brings up an interesting point though doc..
What percentage of DUers are troofers,a belief system so disjointed and insane that your own party reacts to you as a vampire does to a cross?

How`s that for statistics DUmbfuk.

[AllosaursRus]

It's funny how some people absolutely must force their views onto others. Hardcore liberals and anti-religionists in particular.  

I frequently attend "holiday" events like Christmas lunches and dinners with some people who are unashamedly liberal ; politics or religion are just not subjects that are discussed.  

It's far better to just kick back and enjoy life for a day than it is to start shit like that.

I swear, If I was unfortunate enough to know anyone that was a turd-in-the-stew on the same order as "Dr_Eldritch", they'd sure as heck not ever be invited to any social events.

Betcha that "Dr_Eldritch" , is in for a rude shock when they find their ass disinherited.

Thank the good Lord my family are all right wing fundie, gun toting, patriotic Americans! If some asshat like this dirupted a family gathering like this dipshit, I'd bury him out back!

Check that, burying him is to easy. There's a pack of coyotes I hear every night. Maybe I'll douse him with A-1 and tie him to tree! 

[Baruch Menachem]

I have a relative like that.  I lost her address. Her phone number too.  Holidays are not about ramming stuff down other people's throats.

[formerlurker]

Did ya'll know that Ma and Pa Eldritch have an ******* for a son? Yeah, the same one they put thru med-school. Yeah, that's right, the one that needs a colostomy.

dr_eldritch claims to be a doctor now?     

As a moderate Republican, I have sought the ears and wisdom of others who are beginning to see that the ** administration is a travesty to America.
In seeking, I found a site that appeared to have a large enough membership that I might find others who have become disenchanted with **.
And I did find a couple.

Now, with my battlelust for a verbal fray, I threw myself headlong into many debates on the site.
I would wait for someone to say something stupid and I would point out that they might be mistaken.
I asked if maybe Barbara Boxer and the 12 others who voted against Condi might have had genuine concerns over her competence.
I pointed out that we went into Iraq to save our currency, NOT to 'liberate' the Iraqis or 'protect ourselves' from Saddam.

Like a real conservative, I even made some points about how government is getting bigger faster than ever under this administration.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3126623


He trolled onto RN with claims of being a conservative  -- total nonsense posts, lies and fabrications on how hot his wife is, how he wrestled a marine to the ground because of his superior karate skills, blah blah blah.    A regular found his insane ramblings about gwb stealing the election, and then they located him at DU. 

dr eldritch is a comic book by the way.    This guy is a loon, who I imagine still lives with his parents in the New England area.   

[Chris_]

He's as "Republican" as Bill Clinton.

[TheSarge]

I have a relative like that.  I lost her address. Her phone number too.  Holidays are not about ramming stuff down other people's throats.

Yes but this is a gaggle of people that see political connotations in the way someone carves the damn turkey.